in about 1990, 20 years ago, i had two dudes in my middle school ministry in omaha, nebraska. mark arant was a short kid, fairly quiet (at least at church), and not interested in much other than skating. jeff thune was also small, not as quiet as mark, but just starting to individuate himself from only being known as the senior pastor’s kid.
today, those two guys are now 33 year-old men, planting a church in iowa city, iowa.
i’ve followed their stories on an off over the years, thanks to facebook and a few mutual friends. i ran into jeff at a youth worker event about 5 years ago. both guys were youth workers for a while (among other ministry roles). but they felt called to start this church in iowa city that is especially targeted at connecting with the 40,000 students of the university of iowa.
i was in iowa city last weekend for a speaking gig, and had a chance to reconnect with mark and jeff. man, there is just about nothing better for the heart and ongoing calling of a youth worker who’s been around the track a few times to see now-adult former students with a significant faith. i thought i’d have youth ministry fuel for at least a year merely based on the comment mark made as we said goodbye, “hey, thanks for building into us, man.”
but then, i saw this — mark’s blog post from the other day:
This summer is the 20 year anniversary of when I first “got it.”
You see, I was a Christian butthead. I grew up in church, prayed “the prayer” every night (“God if you didn’t hear me last night, I really don’t want to go to hell. I invite you into my life once again as my personal Savior.”), but I had a problem. I was an angry, violent, insecure skate punk.
My mom, along with Sally Kuphal (my friend’s mom), conspired to get Joe and me on a mission trip to Mexico. They brokered a deal with Marko, the junior high pastor, that we would both go if we could be together the entire 10 days of the trip. And so it happened, we went kicking, but not screaming, because we figured, “Ehh, it can’t be that lame if we can be together. We should be able to endure this uncool group for a week.”
It was the first time I prayed out loud in a group (other than my family), saw poverty, got caught up in corporate worship, felt “called” to something bigger than skating, made friends other than Joe… (One of them I’m currently planting a church with. Cosmic accident?)
I look back on that summer as one of the top ten defining moments of my life.
But somewhere in the middle- between a 13 year old spoiled American skate punk and a loving and good God- was a junior high pastor who believed that 13 year olds are worth it.
Nineteen years later, as divine providence would have it, Jeff Thune and I got a Facebook message from our old junior high pastor, “Hey, I’m in Iowa City doing some training for youth pastors. I heard you guys are here! Let’s hang out.” Of course, 20 years later he’s going stronger than ever, loving teenagers (he still has a small group at his church) and training youth workers (he travels the world, speaking, writing, and mentoring).
From 13 year old punk to 33 year old church planter. That’s me. I have a trail of people to thank along the way.
Thanks, Marko, for believing that teenagers can change the world. Bless you, my friend.
i read this to a youth ministry friend who is also “seasoned” and she started crying, even though she’s never met mark and jeff. this is it — this is why we do this thing. this is why. thanks, god; this is why.
we youth workers do some pretty crazy things from time to time, right? call it “the lengths we’re willing to go to for teenagers” or “occupational risk” or just the collective risk-taking nature of our tribe, but man-alive, have i heard some stories. and, it was shockingly easy for me to pull together this list of 5 crazy things i’ve done. i probably could have listed 50 things.
i was thinking of this “crazy thing” list because i need to do a crazy thing this fall. some of you are going to laugh at me, or consider this super-lame. so be it.
here’s the story: as someone who travels quite a bit, my preferred flyer status with united airlines really makes my life easier. call me george clooney if want, but special security lines, early boarding, bonus miles (for family travel!), and free upgrades make regular air travel more livable. recently, i added up the miles i’m gonna get from my remaining trips this year, and i’m going to be one east coast trip (or a couple shorter trips) short of holding onto my frequent flier status this year.
so i’m offering a special deal: i’ll come speak for your event, or to your youth group, or your volunteer team, or preach in your church, or provide a day or two of consulting, at a 50% discount (plus travel costs). i don’t have a bunch of weekends available (a mid-week thing is very possible, btw) — here’s what’s left:
sept 10 – 12
october 22 – 24
october 30/31 (but i can’t fly on friday the 29th, so that weekend is a little limited)
dec 10 – 12 and 17 – 19
if you’re interested in this one-time “marko sale”, shoot me an email at mark.oestreicher@gmail.com, or email my booking dude, tim grable, at tim@thegrablegroup.com.
UPDATE: well, i got the miles thing worked out! YFC of northern ireland is bringing me in for a 2-day ‘youth ministry 3.0′ event in belfast. yup, that’s sure enough miles.
now, for the list of crazy things. please, add your own in a comment!
5 of the craziest things I’ve done in youth ministry
1. Sent 60 junior highers and leaders home on a 24-hour drive while I stayed a full week with an impounded truck in Mexico.
2. Had about 25 middle school boys in my home hot tub at one time.
3. Tried to keep a summer camp going when about 100 of 120 campers were throwing up and experiencing diarrhea.
4. Rented Universal Studios after hours for a private youth group event (and spent the first 25% of our time arguing with the manager to let us in after a kid lit off a firecracker while we were gathering at the gate).
5. Played sardines (reverse hide-and-seek) in the church sanctuary at a church where the sanctuary was a sacred cow.
when i was making the “crazy things” list, i kept coming up with things that weren’t really crazy, but were just stupid. so i made a second list…
as a bonus, 5 of the stupidest things I’ve done in youth ministry
1. Left a 7th grade girl at a McDonald’s in an extremely tough neighborhood in Chicago at 11pm, and didn’t realize it until she was pounding on the door of the building we were staying in, a mile from the McDonald’s.
2. Used a “hot seat” (which delivered a horrible electric shock) on a retreat as a way for junior highers to get points for their team via scripture recitation.
3. Allowed another youth pastor, when our two groups were partnering on a winter retreat, to do a crowdbreaker that was so gross I knew it was going to get me in trouble. It did.
4. Left a couple hundred junior highers in their hotel rooms on an overnight event with only one intern at the hotel while I took the rest of the adults out to In-N-Out Burger.
5. Accelerated a full van of students pulling a trailer toward a freeway barricade as a joke, not thinking about how hard it would be to stop with all that weight. We stopped, but my heart almost did also.
i want to hear your “crazy” or “stupid” youth ministry moments. add ‘em as a comment, and whether you see it as crazy or stupid.
No matter their background, Dean says committed Christian teens share four traits: They have a personal story about God they can share, a deep connection to a faith community, a sense of purpose and a sense of hope about their future.
**notice she doesn’t say “…and a fun youth group!” but, i would like to think that those four key qualities could be foci of our youth ministries.
THIS JUST IN:kenda’s response to the article with an important clarification on one point.
AND NOW, THIS JUST IN:kenda responds with more, this time about the title of the book and the title of the article.
yesterday, one of my youth ministry coaching program cohorts had the wonderful opportunity to sit down with dr. robert epstein for 90 minutes. epstein graciously welcomed us into his home, served us iced tea and cookies, and engaged with us is a pot-stirring exploration of ideas. for an academic with such polarizing (and, some would say, extreme) ideas, we were pleasantly surprised by his warmth, humor and listening ability. we knew we’d enjoy his thought processes, which we did.
for those who don’t recognize the name: epstein has been a fly in the ointment of adolescent sound-bite propogandists for the last few years. particularly in light of the “new brain research” on adolescents, revealing a host of implications, epstein has consistently been the lone voice crying out as the antagonist: no, you’re drawing wrong conclusions from the adolescent brain scans. you’re assuming causality when there is no indication of causality.
epstein put his exhaustive study (and strong opinions) into a book released as the case against adolescence, then re-released a few years later (just recently) as teen 2.0. i’ve blogged about it a couple times here already, but most recently here (mini book review here).
when our group got back to our meeting place after our time with epstein (and a lunch stop that had a side-by-side in-n-out burger and chick-fil-a; possibly the 7th level of heaven when it comes to fast food — yes, a few of us ate at both), we debriefed our time, and created a list of the things that stuck out to each of us the most, or the things that would have implications for our thinking and practice of both youth ministry and parenting. here’s that list, in short-hand. in the days and weeks to come, i’m planning on writing posts about some of these, expanding and reflecting…
– our culture is awash in negative messages about youth. when we hear them enough, we believe them; but they’re not true, and are often driven by pr from drug companies who benefit from these views of adolescents. be hyper-aware of those messages; look for them. and be highly skeptical of what you hear. understand that they are a prejudice (comparisons to 1800s thinking about women and blacks, based on wrong assumptions about their brains).
– parenting needs to shift from a position of “control” to one of “facilitation”. facilitation = look for and encourage competencies. this has enormous implications for youth ministry.
– there are very few age restrictions in the OT, none in the NT. we need churches to return to a biblical concept of adolescence.
– what can we do? create “local culture” (micro-culture) in your home or youth ministry. repeat often that what teens experience ‘out there’ is not right, it’s broken. help teens understand that they do not have to live like the system says they have to live. (this fits in so nicely with the ideas i wrote about in youth ministry 3.0)
this made me laugh out loud (especially the last 15 seconds). btw: i’m a youth ministry volunteer, and that’s my junior high pastor in the backseat, christina robertson. and her boss, brian berry (also my pastor, i suppose, as well as a close friend) in the front, next to tic (who is not my pastor).
i’m a big fan of “believe“, the touring junior high event hosted by ciy each year. quite a few years ago, i consulted with them about how to make it more intentional for early adolescents, and the then-new leader of the event, johnny scott (who has since become a good friend), ran hard after making changes. those changes have resulted, i think, in a pretty amazing event that is pretty amazing for young teens.
then, a few years ago, i spoke at most of the believe events for a season, and got to know it more intimately. johnny and his team continue to improve the event every year; i’m always impressed by his insatiable desire to improve (and i don’t mean “to make it flashier”; but, rather, to make it more and more effective in what an event like this can provide for young teens and middle school ministries).
so i’m stoked to join the team of speakers this year (an amazing team that includes some of my best friends in middle school ministry: scott rubin, kurt johnston, and heather flies), even if for only one city (atlanta). believe is coming to 11 cities in 2011, and i’d highly encourage you to check it out. they just released their promo materials in a pdf version, which you can check out here. the website for next year’s event will go live later this month, so watch for that.
and, yes, that is a bobble-head of me. they had them made of all the speakers. too funny!
a new web portal launched this week for church leaders, appropriately called churchleaders.com. the have some original content and some aggregated content, as well as lots of other stuff. i like that they have the home page that includes a variety of content, but sections divided into specific content for pastors, worship, youth (ministry), children (‘s ministry), small groups, and outreach.
i’d been asked to be part of the advisory team (or something like that) for the youth ministry section, and agreed to that. and, they asked me and a handful of other youth ministry bloggers if they could aggregate some of our blog posts. here’s what i like about how this website is aggregating content, though:
let’s be honest — not every blog post by every blogger is worth reading. some are, some aren’t. i chuckle when i look at some aggregators that include every post from a handful of bloggers. if i wanted to read every post by them, i’d add them to my reader. a good aggregator should be selective, imho. so, the youth ministry section of churchleaders.com has blog posts from me, adam mclane, josh griffin, and many more; but only those posts that are specifically about youth ministry and would have interest or application to a wider audience. that’s helpful.
anyhow, i encourage you to check it out. a friend of mine is in the final throws of becoming the “channel editor” for the youth ministry section, and i expect the quality and depth of the content will increase when that happens.
i’m in the middle of reading kenda creasy dean‘s new book, almost christian: what the faith of our teenagers is telling the american church (it’s so good, and critical reading for all youth workers – i’m sure i’ll be posting more about it). the book is kenda’s interpretation of the findings of christian smith’s ‘national study on youth and religion’ (summarized in the book — or film, if you’re lazy — soul searching), and implications for the christian church (and, specifically, for youth ministry).
smith’s study, if you haven’t heard of it, found that the vast majority of teenagers in america subscribe to a faith he calls ‘moralistic therapeutic deism’. and, as tony jones writes in his endorsement of kenda’s book, “a lot of youth workers have been a bit depressed since the national study of youth and religion revealed what we’d long suspected about american teen spirituality.”
that’s why, early in the book, i found these few sentences very encouraging, while still clarifying the challenge:
we have known for some time that youth groups do important things for teenagers, providing moral formation, learned competencies, and social and organizational ties. but they seem less effective as catalysts for consequential faith, which is far more likely to take root in the rich relational soil of families, congregations, and mentor relationship where young people can see what faithful lives look like, and encounter the people who love them enacting a larger story of divine care and hope.
neatobambino had an interesting post on parenting practices in 5 ancient civilizations. sure is fascinating to see both how things have changed, as well as how things circle back around again. reading this post made me think of the excellent chapter in andy root‘s book, children of divorce, that unpacks our changing understanding of family and how it impacts children and teenagers today. a snippet from the post, about medieval scandinavia:
Girls were educated in the household arts, but boys typically learned farming and herding, except for the higher classes, who learned the arts of war. It was common for children to be fostered by other families in order to strengthen bonds between different kinship groups. Such children could be highly esteemed, as one runic inscription at Kirk Michael on the Isle of Man says “It is better to leave a good foster son than a bad son.” Fostering another man’s child could be an honor….”
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in an apparent homage to both absurdity and extremism, brewdog brewed and sold out of “the end of history“, a (very) limited edition 55% (110 proof) alcohol beer packaged (for a reason i don’t quite understand) in the carcasses of stoats and grey squirrels.
This blond Belgian ale is infused with nettles from the Scottish Highlands and Fresh juniper berries. Only 12 bottles have been made and each comes with its own certificate and is presented in a stuffed stoat or grey squirrel. The striking packaging was created by a very talented taxidermist and all the animals used were road kill. This release is a limited run of 11 bottles, 7 stoats and 4 grey squirrels. Each ones comes with its own certificate of authenticity.
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every year, the bulwer-lytton fiction contest, based out of san jose state university, gives awards in a selection of literary fiction genres for the worst first sentence. these aren’t first sentences from actual, published book; they’re fictional fiction sentences: first sentences written merely for submission to the contest. and they are breathtaking in their awesomeness.
this year’s winner, written by molly ringle:
For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss–a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.
a couple more, for your enjoyment.
from the children’s literature category, this beauty from pete watkins:
“Please Mr. Fox, don’t take your magic back to the forest, it is needed here in Twigsville!” pleaded little Isabel, but Mr. Fox was unconcerned as he smugly loped back into the woods without answering a word knowing well that his magic was only going to be used to make sure his forest would be annexed into the neighboring community of Leaftown where the property values were much higher.
or this beauty submitted by jesse kolman:
His chest glistened like a pumpkin seed, either one fresh out of the pumpkin but with all the orange strands of pumpkin flesh removed, or one straight out of the oven after being coated in just the right amount of oil and then baked; the point is that it was smooth, fairly shiny, and that color.
I'm an "at-large" youth worker, loving the mix of speaking, writing, consulting and coaching i'm doing these days.
I’ve been married to Jeannie for 24 years, and have two great kids: Liesl (16) and Max (12).
here's my website.
in about 1990, 20 years ago, i had two dudes in my middle school ministry in omaha, nebraska. mark arant was a short kid, fairly quiet (at least at church), and not interested in much other than skating. jeff thune was also small, not as quiet as mark, but just starting to individuate himself from only being known as the senior pastor’s kid.
