the precautions a thief must take

i’m tellin’ ya, the number of precautions a thief must take these days just to succeed are mounting. really, it’s hardly even worth it anymore. first, we read about the need to have snugly fitting jeans (and clean underwear — or, some underwear). and now we find out you can’t even leave a booger at the crime scene. really. the article really says booger. seriously.