Comments on: thoughts for parents of young teens, episode 1

By: Why I’m attracted to blogging | Life in Student Ministry

Why I’m attracted to blogging | Life in Student Ministry — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 06:46:48 +0000

[...] Marko had a good blog post today about this very subject. He says (and I agree) that it’s important for teens to question their faith and ask the hard questions. My question is why the church at large generally frowns upon those who ask tough questions and challenge the status quo. If our faith isn’t strong enough to hold up against these questions then maybe it really isn’t worth believing in the first place. [...]

By: ysmarko

ysmarko — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 17:35:19 +0000

[...] marko: good question, sean. a couple responses: 1. yes, i think it’s essential. and i think it’s more likely that… [...]

By: marko

marko — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 17:31:37 +0000

good question, sean.

a couple responses:

1. yes, i think it’s essential. and i think it’s more likely that your pastor and other adults just don’t remember that they went through that process. it may not have been dramatic (which could be part of why they don’t remember it — combined with the fact that MOST of us don’t have many memories of the young teen years).

2. part of the rub could also be a definition of “doubting”. i’m really talking about a re-evaluated faith system — a decisions (or more likely, a series of decisions) to take responsibility for a faith that had previously been inherited. maybe, in the case of your pastor and other adults (the minority, i would venture) it would be better to think of this process in ‘ownership’ terms, or ‘identity’ terms, rather than doubting. but the point remains: young to mid-teens need to go through a process of evaluating their faith (this is often not a process they are fully conscious of) and re-staking the ground of their own faith system.

By: Sean

Sean — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 17:23:56 +0000

Is doubting your faith or your parents faith system necessary for spiritual growth? I ask because I have a few people, after reading your article, tell me that they have never gone through this. One is my senior pastor. They took offense to the notion that they must have a stunted or childish faith. Personally, I went through this, and I’m a stronger believer for it, but I can see my pastor’s point. Is he lying to himself? I don’t know. You got anything?

By: Jesus Creed » Weekly Meanderings

Jesus Creed » Weekly Meanderings — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 12:33:30 +0000

[...] Some economist type explain this to me: 10.5 Billion?! I suggest you keep your eyes on Marko’s site, as he is beginning a series about teenagers, and who knows more about them than Marko? (Other than my wife Kris.) This first one is very good. [...]

By: bobbie

bobbie — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 15:36:16 +0000

great thought marko – i would add a note to youth pastors that helping your youth with their questions can look a lot of the time like you don’t have the answers, and that freaks parents out too.

we found at our last church that the leadership became very frustrated with us because we were allowing the youth to sit with their questions and wrestle with them (in the safety of being at home and in a stable church rather than their first year of university alone) without giving them the ‘easy answers’ or filling in the blanks for them.

sitting with them in the questions can look an awful lot like unintentional, directionless youth pastoring until you explain that you doing it on purpose, and that is is actually a lot harder to minister in this manner than by indoctrinating.

getting leadership on your side in this is crucial, helping them to see how the other path fails the youth we are so desperately trying to help because they will wrestle with the questions, it’s just a matter of when and where.

with us and in our care (high school years) or away at college when their support structures are thin, and usually non-existent.

just my 2 cents.

By: Jennifer Dennis

Jennifer Dennis — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 03:21:28 +0000

We have a new baby girl. I am already panicked about her faith…to the point of being willing to move to a really structured, fundamentalist church (much to the dismay of my husband). I loved your post. It is prayer and it is my life that will influence her faith. Thanks.

By: Rob C

Rob C — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 01:48:03 +0000

Thanks for this. Just posted it on our blog for parents. We just talked about this last week in our midweek service (MS and HS), and reminded the students that doubt can actually be a tool for strengthening faith and become an even more committed Christ-follower. Thx!

By: joshua michael

joshua michael — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 21:27:24 +0000

Great Stuff Marko! Thanks for this great resource for parents and youth leaders!

By: Mike Klein

Mike Klein — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 20:51:06 +0000

Completely agree–have met far too many ‘adults’ who faith is childish not child-like.

My only concern is that someone will use this as an excuse to encourage the doubts on the students before they come to them on their own. As was pointed out there is a natural progression to this and to attempt to force it can cause a lot of problems.

So yes we need to educate and encourage parents and youth workers on how to handle this situation. But we need to make sure we aren’t attempting to cause this situation.

MAK