Comments on: youth ministry 3.0, part 6

By: Ben

Ben — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 21:30:44 +0000

In Youth Ministry 3.0, it is crucial that adults and families reach out to youth and make them a part of their lives. Call it what you want — mentoring, discipleship, family groups. Marko is right in suggesting that affinity is a crucial step in adolescent development. How will the church respond? Will we entrust the youth pastor with the responsibility of being the only shepherd for our youth? Or will we share that responsibility with the congregation? It is great to give youth a “safe” place to belong in our youth ministries… but if we haven’t given them a place to belong after they graduate from high school (lets not forget Marko’s discussion of extended adolescence!), then we have failed miserably.

By: jason kite

jason kite — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:34:00 +0000

as a small town youth minster with 4 kids of my own i am also working as a substitute teacher in the local school system. in this context i am finding myself being asked into a position, not by the school, but by the youth, that is close enough to witness this importance of affinity in their groups. not only do they seem to have these clans as a whole at lunch, in the halls, and at school events outside of the classrooms, but they sit close and wisper to others that may not be in their groups otherwise, but still have similarities in some way. I am also seeing those kids in my youth group in varied ways. and as time passes and the more i am around them in these 2 contexts, their actions and reactions to and around me are becoming more and more similar, as are those of their friends.

By: KC

KC — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 04:02:44 +0000

If I could bottle up all of the moments in my own life as a kid where a youth pastor or youth leader lived out the power of presence before my own eyes as an example of Christ’s love I’d be able to afford my cafe misto addiction. It’s sad that those in youth ministry still feel that they need to spend their “church” cash on ym methods and the latest and greatest stuff we all grabbed in the late 80′s and 90′s to help us with our ministries with students and volunteers. I can’t help but think our model for practicing the art of presence is right in the Emmaus story in Luke 24:13-35. In that when we stop and listen we actually begin to see God be God and recognize that God works even in the midst of the journey Christ calls us to walk.

By: dave miers dot com » Youth Ministry 3.0

dave miers dot com » Youth Ministry 3.0 — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 00:43:23 +0000

[...] youth ministry 3.0, part 6 [...]

By: Dave

Dave — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 04:10:48 +0000

I recall hearing a speaker say that a generation ago, people tended to first find Jesus then find a church to belong to. Now the tread is to search for belonging then find Jesus along the way. I am extrapolating from this that youth too will look for somewhere to belong. It may be a church but it might be a gang.

We need to provide a positive, safe, nurturing place where Jesus is offered in a loving and patient way. We need to glorify Jesus but not beat kids kids up with him.

I see this desire for belonging to be the affinity you are describing.

By: mac

mac — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:01:57 +0000

i’ve been far more effective in ministry when i come alongside kids–let them be who they are…not try to change them into what i think they should be, or my idea of what a christ-follower is. they have enough loud voices shouting at them from all corners. maybe its time some quiet lives spoke into theirs.

By: jeremy z

jeremy z — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:49:05 +0000

Marko,

I think you are on it.

This notion of affinity is a natural liking or longing toward the adolescent for who they are and who they are BECOMING, regardless of what we think they should become. See, the adolescent has spent his or her last 2 or 3 three years trying everything in their power to figure out who they are by asking the three questions of: 1. where in the world do I fit? 2. Who am I? 3. Do I matter?

What if a few adults came alongside them to affirm their adolescent process. How cool would it be for an adult to assist in the adolescent journey?

We as the youth workers are so likely to tell the adolescent what WE think they should become. Rather we as the youth worker should be affirming what they are becoming. We completely ignore the realties of who the adolescent is.

By no means is affinity a selfish task. It is an imperative task every adolescent must go through. This task is like going to the bath rooom. It is normative for every adolescent.

It is my belief that God uniquely designed us in our mother’s womb (psalm 139.13 and Jeremiah 1.5). And as a teenager it is imperative they discover who God created them to be with the the youth help and assistance of the youth worker. The adolescent NEEDS to discover their gifts, their strengthens, and their weaknesses. This discovery process is part of the adolscent process and task.

By: tash

tash — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 22:05:03 +0000

hmmm. sidebar question – do you think that youthworkers need to have seen/considered YM2.0 in order to grapple comprehensively with issues/obstacles/successes & possibilities that lead to YM3.0?

YM2.0 consistently looks easier than wrestling our way into murky 3.0 territory, so how do you stop the cycle? I keep thinking about the barren/conception/labour/birth/midwife metaphor again here because it seems that wisdom is a key component to 3.0 realities, whatever they may look like.

less sidebar: i never had a great 2.0 experience either in or running a youth ministry. so everything has been a little experimental, but always based on who are these kids, what’s their story? Which seems like the starting point when trying to work within the tasks of identity, autonomy and affinity successfully – ultimately theirs is the story that is needing to be told not ours. I’ve got no other methodology for that than experimentation and instinctive responsiveness. Is there a better way? We’ve managed to identify the Belief, Belonging, Behaviour cycle… is there a pattern here?

By: Jake

Jake — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:39:27 +0000

The constant tension of youth ministry in the local church seems to be the previous generation of teenagers, i.e. the ones who thrived on autonomy, cannot understand why we would attempt to stress something different. It almost feels that the autonomy that they desired has followed into their homes and now their children are like, if everyone is just an individual at home, where can I belong?

By: Jeff Greathouse

Jeff Greathouse — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:34:22 +0000

I think that I may need to have the definitions (which I am sure you will do) flushed out a little more to get a handle on the subject.