this is a hard post to write, but an important one for me.
i’ve experienced some pretty significant a-ha’s in the past week or two, all around the sustainability of my lifestyle, my identity, and my most important relationships.
a month and a half ago, i started a leadership coaching process with john townsend. and i was asked to talked about myself at the first gathering. i wrote a bit about this on this blog (the whole plate spinning thing). since naming that, i’ve had a few more words to describe the dissatisfaction i’ve been feeling about my life; but i still felt way short of clearly understanding what i needed to do about it.
then, last week, on our ys leadership team retreat, we were spending some time talking about blindspots and roadblocks. to make a long story short, it became very clear to me that two things consistently eclipse the relationships and values that are actually most important to me (especially at this stage in life and work):
1. my family
2. the staff of youth specialties
the two imposters that constantly threaten (or supercede) the things that are most important to me are:
1. my travel schedule
2. being the voice of youth specialties (or, to put it in a more negative way, “nurturing my public persona”)
here’s a thought: our behaviors –> reveal our priorities –> which reveals our true values.
here are a couple photos i snapped in new zealand (ironically — mr. travel) of the “community lounge” on the back side of a church
i took these pics because i thought the sign and location of the “community lounge” said something significant about this church’s value of community. in other words: they might have a community lounge, but they don’t seem to actually value community.
this is a metaphor for why i’m making some big time changes.
i’ve been having a value stand-off, between what i say my values are and how i’m living my life. and it’s eroding (and threatening) my long-term happiness, and the life i really want.
let me get to the point:
1. i’m going to stop nurturing the whole “ysmarko” thing. which means, starting today, i’m going to stop using facebook (i’m planning on deleting my facebook account tomorrow), and stop twittering (i’m going to delete my twitter account tomorrow), and this is my last blog post on ysmarko (at least for the foreseeable future, though i’ll leave the blog sitting here for now).
2. i’m also reframing what “essential travel” is for me, which is allowing me to cut back 50 – 75% on my travel. i won’t be traveling internationally in the next year or two (or ever?), other than our canadian convention. and i’m cutting back on all other travel, other than a few truly essential things as well as family-related and personal stuff.
i know this is going to be hard in many ways, and i’ll likely go through some form of withdrawal. but i’m also excited about the new focus, extra time, and relational presence i expect to experience in the coming months.
i’ve enjoyed the interaction i’ve had with so many of you through this blog, and pray god’s blessing on you, as i ask you to do for me.
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Wow! Well Marko, you have constantly set challenges to many people through ysmarko and I am very grateful for all the pointers, particularly in two areas. Firstly, it has enabled me to keep abreast of new trends and thinking in youth ministry from the other side of the Atlantic, so thank you for that. Secondly, and most importantly, you have often demonstrated humility in leadership and have been unafraid of saying sorry when you got things wrong. I know that many people (including me) will miss the benefit of your insight through ysmarko but I also sense that what you are doing is absolutely the right thing for you to do at this time. I hope that you can home in on what’s important and learn to ditch the unimportant. Every blessing my friend.
Respect to you Marko for your decision! I like many others will undoubtedly miss your virtual voice. ysmarko was a pretty regular port of call for me, not only to read of your views, insights etc… but also to connect with what is happening in youth ministry generally. And I’ll miss that. Thanks for journeying with us. Peace
marko – i have just bumped you way higher up the legend scale and have become your fan. i have made similar decisions towards family in the past few months, but have not started chopping at the tallskinnykiwi brand. although i confess i was thinking about it again yesterday. i will now need to talk to Father to see if this is something he is speaking to many of us about. thanks.
well done marko! or should it now be mark?
hard realizations but great choices and God’s blessings. see you in person again someday!
ty
Dearest friend,
Much respect and love for your decision. It is not easy to take a step of faith or to let go of the things we love to do. Your struggle will be heavy for you (and most people will not know what you are talking about or struggling with as withdraw hits), but may peace be your soul’s cry.
I’ll be honest, I will miss your stuff, but I look forward to learning more about you. . and not this stuff. (I’m learning too.)
God’s best, Mark. I’m a few steps behind you on this journey.
Prayer is sent on your behalf. . . .
D’oh! And so soon after the blog redesign too ;o)
We’ll miss you – but wish you every happiness.
It has been a pleasure getting a glimpse into your head through this blog. If it is time for it to go, then so be it. If you just need a period of reflection and time off, then I await the return.
I guess this means I’ll just have to email you more often.
I am honored to know you and am inspired by the man who you are. You are a man of bold decisions and one who is not afraid of risks. I will eagerly look forward to the times when we get to meet in person and catch up.
Continue to inspire others and seek God as you lead YS. I look forward to you finding new ways of interacting with the world as you share your passions, your vision, your care for others, and your deep relationship with God.
Blessings my friend.
Good stuff. Nice to see someone getting their priorities straight.
Whoa! Gonna miss you. Totally respect your decision, though. If this is where God’s leading you, then by all means, to Him be the glory. Perhaps we all can gain a little better perspective through your challenging decisions.
wow! good on ya Mark. Because I am so very far away from SD I will miss your words and your influence in my life – but as a member of the kingdom, especially the youthworker tribe I stand with you in your choice to make the present world a priority.
It’s something you will never regret.
\o/ – here’s me on the other side of the continent standing up and clapping.
Thanks for sharing your heart Marko. Looks like we’ll connect the next time face to face than screen to screen (apart from an email or two).
Through your thoughts, I find myself confronting myself too.
Take care. Until we meet again.
God bless
bless you marko. i want to thank you for all this blog has meant to me. and i want to thank you for once again leading by example.
Joe T
I’ve enjoyed getting to know you again through reading your blog.
Wow! Big stuff! But it totally sounds worth it! Way to go Marko! I’ll be praying for the transition!
r. e. s. p. e. c. t. – that’s what i got for ya. peace.
Marko
It is good to see that I am not the only one that is going through change lately. I was asked to resign my youth director position last Thursday because of financial issues at the church. Although I am sad to leave the position, I know that God has greater plans for me in the future. God has blessed you in your life and will work amazing things during these changes. I definitely understand your commitment to your family and your work family. It takes a lot of chutzpah to tone down on communication on a high-quantity communication society, and I commend you on that. God Bless
Jim
thanks for letting us enjoy the ride to this point – will be praying God’s blessing for you on this next part of your journey
Marko, I respect your decision and it’s going to take a lot of guts to disconnect, I’m not sure I have enough….so bravo to you! However, a little part of me is sad as I enjoy reading your blog so much not just for the personal stories but also for the ministry help it gives me. Good luck and God bless!
As a (southern baptist) Student Pastor who has visited your blog pretty much daily for the last 3 years or so, I can truly say that you are one of the leaders in our (youth ministry) world that has shaped my priorities in terms of how I do ministry. While I am all about what you’re doing, know that your “public persona” is all I know of Marko and you have had a great influence on me and my ministry (by influence, of course, i mean that i have to ask God to convince me not to abandon the SBC every day – for a variety of reasons – but I keep hanging in because the teenagers at this church need their world blown up by the gospel. I am able to maintain, in part, because of your challenge to do ministry right where you are and initiate change through building relationships. OK, I am actually not sure how much of that you said, but it is your fingerprint that has helped shape my value system) :-)
Anyway, I drink to you tonight dude.
As always, I will be in the ATL in November.
Peace.
Respect to you mark, by what you are doing you are leading, getting us to think about the real versus the virtual and helping us to remember it’s about who we are and not what we do. You’re family will be blessed. Cheers dude, much respect to you and the journey that you are on.
Man, I am going to miss this blog! But I totally understand and admire you for this decision. I must say though the thing I am going to miss the most is the Monday Morning Updates esp. the music section. I have purchased a lot of albums due to this section. I am going to miss the blog but am glad that you and your family will be benefiting from your decision.
Love ya
Respect ya
Rooting for ya!
I’m super excited and challenged by your “retirement.” I have so appreciated your heart and sincere thoughts on life, ministry, and Jesus… Those will be missed. But those who benefit most from your presence and who should get your very best will undoubtedly be enriched to a greater degree because of this decision.
The youth ministry community loves you Mark and I believe we are all standing beside you in this decision.
After reading your twit about the big change I was thinking you were gonna go average, everyday, normal guy on us and cut your hair and lose the dye and dress like you shopped at the Gap or something…
Now… where to get my great videos… great books… What do I do all day now that I have no ysmarko blog to visit? Shall I do ministry? I shall…
MArko,
Blessings again. Thanks for all you’ve shared through your YSMarko blog and thanks for being a good example. Rock on…
Mark
Much respect and many prayers. Keep living in the Spirit…you know it will never lead you astray!
Interesting. Thanks for the transparency. Good challenge.
Much respect and love, Marko! I admire this… Very ballsy!
But, How will I keep up with all of the cool stuff going on in Student ministry?
Seriously Mark, I pray that you are blessed with time to focus on your family, your YS family, and your relationship with God.
See you at the NYWC 09
Chris
YES! Way to go Marko! I did the same thing about two months back. It’s been a HUGE help. There isn’t anything wrong with the tech, it was me that was the problem. I couldn’t manage it, and my real relationships around me. I’ve spent more time journaling and reading, and it’s helped so much. Ironically, the few people who have missed my blog, twitter, or facebook have continued to live just fine. A bit of an ego blow for me, but very, very freeing! I’m behind you 110%!
*standing ovation*
Thanks for sharing your life with us. What I will miss most are the glimpses into your family life. The movies, the restaurants, the friends – you truly are blessed! Enjoy!
Mark la verdad he aprendido mucho en este blog y que bueno que estes en constantes cambios. Que Dios te bendiga!!!!!.
Blessings – Numbers 6: 24-26.
Jeff
I’m a believer in the idea of life moving in seasons and I’m grateful that you have clarity for this next season in your life.
Grace to you brother.
If this is the route God is taking you for building His kingdom, I’m in full support of it Marko. I respect you a ton, man. I’m glad to have gotten into youth ministry with you as one of the forefront faces in the field.
Marko:
I said it on FB, and I’ll say it here… Since this is the biggest part I’ll miss.
I ask you to reconsider – especially the blog. Maybe cut back a bit instead? Look for balance. Instead of posting (and making sure you do) twice a day… maybe once a day? or every few days – as the spirit moves you?
I really look forward to reading this blog. Yes, I do like getting a glimpse into your personal world – but much more importantly – I like reading your insights both theologically and about Youth Ministry. I don’t see you so much as the voice of Youth Specialties – but one of many voices in the youth ministry world.
This post is an example. Yes – it’s somewhat personal, but your whole insight into our behaviors and how they reveal who we are…. that’s deep and it’s good inspired stuff. That’s the type of post I’ll miss from you. Yes, it’s interesting that we read about your hairstyle, or your travels, or your holiday…. but the stuff about youth ministry and theology and living our lives as Christians in this world of ours – those are the posts I really learn from.
Balance my friend – balance. :)
Thank you Marko – and my best to you!
Marko,
I understand where you are coming from…feel like I have lived that. Do as the Lord leads. Thank you for your willingness to share and care for us. I enjoyed your blogs, your tweets, and following you on Facebook. It gave me a unique insight into your life. I will miss that most of all.
God will use you in ways you cannot even imagine…I pray for you in this season of your life Marko 3.0 (or maybe 4 or 5.0…I don’t know).
Thank you again for all and God bless,
Larry
That’s all well and good, but WHAT ABOUT ME?! What about my need for interaction and daily time-wasting. Where will I get my Jesus Junk or Photos in Need…? Where will I find out about time-killing internet games or read book reviews to books such as Youth Ministry 3.0 or Youth Ministry 3.0 or Youth Ministry 3.0?!?!?!
Just kidding. Lots of love and respect, dude! Enough brand-building–on with Kingdom-building!
Marko,
1. The funniest thing is that you JUST got a new layout for your blog. I must point out the irony of that.
2. I am going to miss some of the fun things like the photo captions even though I stink at them.
3. I really respect your decision but I hope you might find another capacity to connect with youth workers because I think you are gifted in encouraging all of us.
4. The thing I think I will miss the most is following what books you read and what you think of them! I have followed your reading list from time to time and have been happy with your reviews.
Thanks again for everything you do!
-Kevin
Marko,
Great post today. Although I’ll be sad to see YSMarko go – I commend you for these recent choices as well as all that you have done (& I’m sure will continue to do) for the Youth Ministry community.
I’ve often taken a lot away from your writings – both to benefit me personally, and to help in the trenches of youth work. You are a strong voice in the YM world. With the changes in your life (FB, blog, etc.) and the adjustments in the YS world I can’t wait to see what God has in store for all of us serving Him through this amazing Call.
Thank you for being a beacon for us.
His,
~Chris
Good stuff Marko and challenging for me.
I had a different reaction than some of the other readers. More sobering.
The two issues that you describe, (consuming travel schedule and need to nurture your public persona) are common to us too. As youth ministers, so many of us, have the a need to be validated, feel important, feel needed and be more than just adequate. We play that out by taking outside speaking gigs, spending more time writing for YLO (and pitching YWJ/Group) than we do for our own Sunday School classes or small groups, etc.
(total bystander/arm chair quarterback here)
Applaud the decisions on travel. After reading your b-day post, you are in a crucial time in your kids lives, etc. But, just expressing my opinion here, how you are dealing with Facebook and Twitter seems a bit like how you might deal with an addiction or something. Was it?
And, even though you’ve expressed your motives, I have to say that it feels like/looks like grandstanding, self-importance…again. A swing to the extreme. One upping us. I’m hoping you’re not that far out of balance (maybe you are?) if so, you might have a lot more to deal with than FB/Twitter. If we are not careful, many times, we can replace one addiction with another. How possible is this for you? Good luck to you and the impact you are having on your family and the YS staff.
Sounds like your making the right choice. God Bless…
I feel a bit like the crowd following Forest Gump through his running years… Now what do we do?
I’ve appreciated your voice and I hope that you can return with some balance.
Hi Mark. I really appreciate the stand you’ve been called to take. That is one thing I’ve enjoyed about our mission call. It is a family thing, and my wife is as much part of our missionary vision and persona as I am. In many ways the more desirable part of us. But the fact that we get to do it together, have the adventures and high times together, and have the hard stuff together is invaluable. So it isn’t too often that we have to choose family vs ministry…
Godspeed my friend… and God keep you crazy…
you won’t regret it.
Well done on making a tough decision. It doesn’t matter whether we (this blog community) think you’re right or wrong, you need to do what’s right for your family and yourself. May God bless you in your future endeavours, I hope you can cut back on the travel.
This feed will say in my reader in the hope that from time-to-time you’ll pop up and let us know what’s on your mind. Oh, and that you’ll share a few more cool games with us.
Thanks again.
PP
There’s a huge smile on my face, and tears in my eyes for the happiness for the great gift you just gave yourself and your family.
Congratulations.
It would be great to have just maybe a once per week post but I guess I understand that you are gaining much by giving this up. Thanks for everything.
Good on ya!
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