UPDATE: the new list, with 37 nativities, can be found here.
a few years back i posted a long series of bad nativity sets. last year i grouped them all into one post, but it was really just a list of links to those older posts — which was unfair to you all. so… this year, i’m grouping all 20 of them into one long post! merry christmas all, and enjoy or be horrified by this weird collection of nativity oddness.
the kitty cat nativity. makes me want to cough up a hairball.
the nativity kitchen timer:
the cowboy nativity. yee-ha!
yeah, the cat nativity is probably worse. but these dogs ain’t much better…
technically, not a nativity. but it’s a christmas lawn ornament, showing (can you believe it?) the flogging of jesus on the way to the cross. there’s some christmas cheer for your neighborhood!
also not technically a nativity; just a horribly cheesy christian kitschmas decoration: the jesus tree topper. dude, that robe is not working for you. and stop using that flat-iron on your hair.
back to actual nativity sets. this one is a craft kit, using marshmallows to make a nativity. yum.
not to be outdone by the marshmallow nativity craft kit i posted last, this s’mores nativity just might be the single worst nativity i’ve come across…
this isn’t a whole nativity set, but i think the other pieces are available. i didn’t have the strength to look. this mouse drummer boy is just about as confusing as a bit of kitchmas junk can get.
when searching for tasteless nativity sets online, it doesn’t take long for one to stumble onto multiple versions of bears…
this rubber duckie nativity has to be right up there in the “worst” section of cheesy nativity sets…
lotsa santa nativity sets and pieces out there, but this one is a bit disorienting. is the holy family IN santa’s bag? or does santa have an nice applique of the holy family on his bag of gifts? and, what can the letters in santa be re-arranged to spell?
if cats, dogs, and teddy bears weren’t enough, how ’bout penguins!?
sure. snowmen. shouldn’t be a surprise.
ah, the veggie nativity. i debated on this one, because i’ve always been a veggie fan. but the baby carrot pushed me over the edge into including it.
this nativity — well, i just don’t even know how to describe it. clowns? modern art? the baby jesus seriously looks like something out of a circus or a john waters movie.
oh, the animals. i suppose, while i think the dog nativity and cat nativity are somehow explainable as something people WAY too “into” those particular animals might display, this chicken nativity is just a bit beyond my comprehension as a purchasable — nay, displayable — holiday trinket.
you know those people who have those geese on their porch? yeah, them. and they put a cute little goosey costume on their porch-goose to mark every season? yeah, those people. this costume set is made for those people. or, to clarify, for those who actually have TWO of those geese already. sigh. i’m guessing the rubber ducky baby is “not supplied”.
what better expresses the spirit of the incarnation than owls? i found these at this cavalcade of nativities, where the comment was: whoooo is the son of god? whooooo?
ok, this has to stop. so, one last nativity. yes, i give you, the naked troll doll nativity. eesh. feh.
JUST POSTED: three more!
THIS JUST IN: yet another 3 worst nativities!
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These are hysterical and you are some kind of genius. I am going to cross point this on facebook and twitter. And with your permission, I would like to make mention on the blog.
Genius.
Here’s one made entirely out of meat products that Lady Gaga would envy. http://www.neatorama.com/2010/12/01/meat-nativity/
@rob — i saw that on neatorama, but i kind of thought it was a ‘win’! :)
Rob, the worst ever!!! Yuck.
It’s too bad “Dinner with Schmucks” didn’t have one for the nativity like the last supper (http://youcallthatart.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/supper.jpg).
I wonder if God sits around creating little “earthling” sets that he sit back and laugh at?
Whew… So the market for the Pink Flamingo Nativity set is virtually untapped…
I just figured put how to pay for that El Camino I saw on Craigslist.
darn it, Tomcotter, I should have thought of that.
Hmmm…no LOTR nativity?
love it. don’t be hatin’ on the Veggie Tales, though.
Hilarious, yet vexing…thanks for the laugh!
The marsh-mellows really make way for that ole’ “He that eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood hath eternal life” stuff.
Need to send you a picture of a Creche we got, where everyone – Mary, Joseph, Wiseman, Shepherds are all brown – and surround a lily white baby Jesus!
I’m pretty sure even Phil Vischer would be hating on the VeggieTales nativity, since in his book “Me, Myself and Bob” he recounts a conversation with his Mom, when he was just starting out and she gave him the first rule for Veggie tales “You will not portray Jesus as a vegetable.”
Good job. Bad stuff, but good job in assembling it online.
At least the kitchen timer nativity depicted human beings.
The naked trolls get my vote for the worst.
Can I have a vote re-do?
I take it back….the Jesus tree topper is by far the worst!
Don’t penguins usually sit on their babies and stuff? So, shouldn’t Joseph Penguin actually be sitting on top of Jesus Penguin and not need a manger at all?
The Jesus tree topper reminds me of the Jesus figurine from the first Carrie movie.
I think the bacon/sausage nativity ranks right up there with the wurst of the ones in the article…
http://www.jesusneedsnewpr.net/worst-nativity-ever-and-completely-unkosher/
The “cowboy” one looks more like Mexicans to me.
@Marko – Neatorama featured your post on their site. You’re famous!
http://www.neatorama.com/2010/12/02/top-ten-worst-nativity-sets/
i like this one because it is edible and i love bacon
http://imgur.com/v9h9c
I was looking at some of these the other day in the goingjesus.com archives, and it would seem you’ve pulled many of them directly from this site. Cite your sources, including bad owl jokes? :)
I would say that the ‘Veggie Tale’ set above, represents ‘actors’ (vegetables!) playing the parts, and is not supposed to be taken as the real thing! They appear in a long series of TV and DVD stories re-enacting Biblical stories or truths and are aimed at children. With a lot of silly humour, great songs and fun characters, those that know would ‘get’ the nativity scene and wouldn’t have an issue with it. Great list though. Penguins…there are no words!
@ Williamson: HE did! He’s still got the giggles.
OK, while most of these are …….. enough said. We may still have the rubber duckie set somewhere. Our minister gave them to the kids at church one year. Each week during advent and Christmas Eve. May not be amusing to adults, but the kids loved them. As for the veggie version, those are the Veggie Tales characters- a great video series with -Saturday morning cartoons with Sunday morning values (if not the actual tagline-you get the idea).
Priceless.
//TC//
@M — actually, i only found that owl nativity there. the others were all found other places. and, ironically, that’s the one source i DID cite, including referencing them for the quote!
I kind of expected those dogs to be playing poker while they waited.
Wow, I missed the Jesus treetopper. Priceless. He glows!
we have the veggie tales nativity! … or at least we DID … not sure if it has survived this last year … i THINK so … :-)
If you like these, you’ll love the Nativity Collection at the Algoma Boulevard United Methodist Church in Oshkosh. We have 1,000 sets and some sets that are very close to a few of these. They were all collected by one woman between1988 and 2005. We actually have a marshmallow Holy Family, a Teddy bear set and a couple with animals such as bison, chickens and raccoons visiting the baby Jesus. A must-see for kitsch lovers! Call the church at 920-231-2800 to get current hours or book a guided tour. (We will book tours for 1 to 50 people.)
Hannah and I laughed hilariously all the way through this!! This certainly proves that just because you think you have a “good” idea, it doesn’t mean you should act upon it. My guess is that natural capitalism will see to it that most, if not all, of these nativity sets will end up in a dumpster somewhere!
Very Nice!
Father, forgive them. They know not what they do.
Hahahahahaha! Thank you for this piece of holiday cheer! Merry Christmas, Mark!
Hilarious! Thanks for a really good laugh. My favourite has got to be the penguins.
Wow. Funny stuff! I think the kitchen timer is my favorite.
Those were…words escape me. However, I recently saw one made out of bacon and sausage. Not sure if it was meant for eating, but if it was….EEEEWWWWWW.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/yasrsly/the-nativity-scene-was-a-sausage-fest-1zl1
the bacon and sausage nativity scene
There’s an Anime one I’ve seen somewhere!
I dont like any nativity sets and got a real kick out of those you posted.
soo lame
Loved your collection. Passed on to others to get them in the Christmas spirit. Speaking of spirits, thought you’d like to see this Irish nativity scene. Three wise Irishmen bearing gifts of clover, gold — and Guinness: http://www.goingjesus.com/cavalcade/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/luckycharms.jpg
I’m disappointed that you chose to include the “cowboy nativity” as one of the worst. It’s created by poor artists in Charcato, Peru as a means of supporting their families. It’s characteristic of their culture. You may not like it but purchasing it does good.
And for the record…Nativity means circumstances of birth. The wise men with the 3 gifts arrived during the circumstances of Jesus’ toddlerhood ! At the time they were living in a house & used these gifts to fund the trip to Egypt to flee the death squad.
Very funny! Just so you know, I think the drummer mouse is probably connected to the book “The Little Drummer Mouse” written and illustrated by Mercer Mayer. It’s actually a beautiful book and my kids really enjoy reading it. That’s the only connection I can come up with, however the mouse in the book is better looking. . . .
The teddy bears are actually very cute. The rest a bad joke.Shame miss jill!
I would have to echo Alistair that the Veggie Tales one (which I proudly own) represents a Nativity play scene done by actors. I like to display it right next to my Peanuts “Nativity” which also represents the characters doing the Nativity play from my favorite Christmas special (preach it brother Linus). Other than that faux pas, great list. Thanks.
With you on all the animal ones (though I think the dogs are worse than the cats, and the duckies worst of all) except for the teddy bears. Teddies are very real to a lot of kids (and adults) and might actually mean something for them. If they did it themselves. Which they probably aren’t.
The meat is the wurst, though.
Actually, some friends of mine made the last nativity. It is NOT supposed to be trolls but angels. The dolls were a series called Always Angels. I didn’t know they had a nativity though. I just recognized the logo. (My friends made dolls for some large companies and tried starting their own line; one of the ladies actually sewed and had her kids voice the angels—yes, they all talk. They are no longer making them.)
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