The Youth Cartel

photo in need of a caption

April 3, 2012 · 42 comments

later this week, my family is heading up to washington state for a nice vacation, mostly at a timeshare on lake chelan. but the reason we’re heading to WA is because some of our best family friends are there, a family we lived across the street from years ago in sierra madre, california. it’s one of those rare friendships where the adults all get along and the kids all get along (in fact, it was my kids’ idea that we vacation up there with these friends). but i have this one particular memory that popped to mind, that always makes me laugh. the husband of this family, when our kids were little, had to climb up to the top of a playplace tower at a burger king (with me laughing my butt off at him) to retrieve his crying son (who was very young at the time). it was one of those switchback things where he had to wiggle back and forth across and up about 5 or 6 levels to reach the top, then do the whole thing again to get back down. just fantastic.

so, this photo made me think of that.

and, i could easily see having done this at some point. but, that doesn’t mean we can’t mock this guy with a good solid round of “photo in need of a caption” hilarity! and, let’s do a prize this time. best caption wins a copy of brian berry’s excellent new book, As For Me and My (Crazy) House (the publisher sent me a couple copies, and i’m keeping one of ‘em!).

bring it!

CONTENDERS at the end of day 1:

lots of good ones, but these are the best of the best, so far, in my subjective opinion…

Patrick
Screwed!

jason
As Dr. Vaseline surveyed the situation his nephew Clancey had gotten himself into, he was struck with an idea…

Kevin I
The Extended Adolescence trap claims another victim.

Tim Falk
“Now repeat after me: I admit that I’m a sinner. I accept your son into my life. Please don’t let me go to hell, but let me live with you in heaven. Amen.”

ken macdonald
Now… open your eyes.

Jared
“Dude, we can still see you!”

kolby milton
The new youth pastor showing off his awesome skills.

Andrew Seely
As part of the rigorous sommelier training, joe was instructed to “be the cork”.

and the winner is…

andrew seely’s late entry was good. and i almost went with kevin i’s witty bit about extended adolescence (way to play to the judge). but in honor of manipulative youth ministries everywhere, i’m going with the very dark humor of tim falk’s forced lord’s prayer. shoot, it’s more cynical commentary than outright humor. but the judge likes that.

tim, shoot me an email (marko@theyouthcartel.com) to claim your prize!

{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Dick April 3, 2012 at 5:25 am

This time the whine was in the corkscrew

Gordon McBirnie April 3, 2012 at 5:52 am

Chad was delighted that he had passed his initiation to the Embarassing Dad’s club with flying colours

Patrick April 3, 2012 at 6:50 am

Screwed!

jason April 3, 2012 at 6:58 am

As Dr. Vaseline surveyed the situation his nephew Clancey had gotten himself into, he was struck with an idea…

Joel Griffin April 3, 2012 at 7:06 am

A game of Sardines gone terribly wrong!!!

adam mclane April 3, 2012 at 7:28 am

Jason’s brother Robert and sister Cindi have visited the now trapped man twice daily to feed him and change his adult diaper. Jason’s mom wasn’t kidding when she left him there in 1968.

Josh Rath April 3, 2012 at 7:30 am

Last time I make a bet with you.

Josh Rath April 3, 2012 at 7:45 am

One more:

Motivational Poster

When you think you are stuck in life just remember someone is always stuck worse than you are.

Howard Brooks April 3, 2012 at 8:35 am

oompa loompa dippity do, I’ve got another puzzle for you!

RevBT April 3, 2012 at 8:35 am

Mother in the background: “When I told you I wanted you to play in traffic it was so this wouldn’t happen, again.”

or

Man stuck: “I just wanted to know what it felt like to be Born-Again.”

or

Man helping: “Wow..now you know what it feels like when you don’t pay your bills on time.”

Tara Eastman April 3, 2012 at 8:35 am

“I admire your commitment to prayer, but it’s really time we headed home!”

Kevin I April 3, 2012 at 8:36 am

The Extended Adolescence trap claims another victim.

Lisa Schultz April 3, 2012 at 8:40 am

Woman says: Now that I have your attention, let’s talk about the the things you need to do to improve our marriage!

joe April 3, 2012 at 8:41 am

this is the moment he started rethinking joining the jr high ministry

julie ball April 3, 2012 at 8:45 am

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
You ain’t.
You ain’t who?
You ain’t Houdini!

Tim Falk April 3, 2012 at 8:46 am

“Now repeat after me: I admit that I’m a sinner. I accept your son into my life. Please don’t let me go to hell, but let me live with you in heaven. Amen.”

Theresa April 3, 2012 at 8:58 am

“he’s a big dumb animal, isn’t he folks?”

Brit Windel April 3, 2012 at 8:58 am

Hey guys let me show you something I saw once on a movie!

I swear I thought I could pull of the stripper spin in this thing.

I don’t know Paul, The church said they’d give the first person through this thing an iPad 3.

I am Batman…

ken macdonald April 3, 2012 at 9:14 am

Now… open your eyes.

pbj April 3, 2012 at 9:20 am

Peter’s attempt to teach John 3:4 to the Junior Highers with an object lesson did not go as well as his first sermon in Acts

Denise April 3, 2012 at 9:26 am

Not the Birth canal again…a new vision of you must be born again…

Jared April 3, 2012 at 9:31 am

“Dude, we can still see you!”

calvin April 3, 2012 at 9:49 am

If you won’t tell us how they get the caramel inside we’re going to put you back on the spinny seat!

linda April 3, 2012 at 9:50 am

third human clone encounters difficulty emerging from alien birth canal

Greg Schmid April 3, 2012 at 10:00 am

How did I get here?
How do I get out?
And do as I say, not as I do!!

Ohhhh Momma!!

Phil George April 3, 2012 at 10:17 am

I promise Jesus, never to eat another Big Mac again!

Paul April 3, 2012 at 10:19 am

When I chose this game for the youth group, I did not take into consideration the obesity epidemic. Fail.

Tracey April 3, 2012 at 10:29 am

Ok, not for the contest, but DUDE, you are supposed to climb up the sides, not go thru the inside. Geesh! This guy must not have kids.

Roger April 3, 2012 at 10:53 am

Sing along everybody…I’m all wrapped up, I’m all tied up, I’m all tangled up in Jesus….

Patrick April 3, 2012 at 11:04 am

Now this won’t hurt a bit

Chris Saulnier April 3, 2012 at 11:08 am

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…..

Gman April 3, 2012 at 11:09 am

Mike Yaconelli and Wayne Rice test try some of their games before publishing it in Play IT. The Whole “Screwed” game is one later to be revealed in Banned Sunday School Lessons.

Thomas April 3, 2012 at 11:18 am

It’s Slinky, it’s Slinky, the favorite of girls and boys!

pbj April 3, 2012 at 2:04 pm

when you have cable you go a little crazy
when you go a little crazy you join the youth staff
when you join the youth staff they talk you into helping with marko’s JH boys small group
when you help with marko’s small group they have an overnighter that leaves you stranded in the twirly pole at the kindergarten playground while your wife brings out her 80′s pastel shirt and short shorts and your best friend tries to talk you out of the twirly pole before someone shows up with a camera and immortalizes you on marko’s internationally known website of crazy nativity scenes
don’t let marko’s JH boys leave you stranded in the twirly pole

kolby milton April 3, 2012 at 3:02 pm

The new youth pastor showing off his awesome skills.

Andrew April 3, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Youth Leaders testing a viable solution to keep middle schoolers still, in hopes of keeping their attention. I sense a new trend in youth room seating…

Andrew Seely April 3, 2012 at 9:08 pm

As part of the rigorous sommelier training, joe was instructed to “be the cork”.

Dave Wollan April 4, 2012 at 7:37 am

You’re so twisted!

Dave V April 4, 2012 at 9:57 am

Stop screwing around!
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
“Put your right arm in, you put your right arm out . . .”

e. sutter April 5, 2012 at 7:27 am

“Thanks for all of the help, Darla! No really, this is what I wanted.”

Brian Aaby April 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Hey! That’s my good friend Sean Meade from Stuck In The Middle Ministries!

Tim Falk April 5, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Wow, thank you, Marko!

As I accept this award tonight, I just want to first and foremost thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Without him, there would be no sinner’s prayer, and as a result, no winning caption.

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