i couldn’t decide whether to make this beautiful (can you hear my tongue pounding the inside of my cheek?), handmade (it appears) jesus chair a jesus junk of the month recipient, or a photo in need of a caption contest. so, in the spirit of all other things mashed these days, i’ve decided to combine the two.
only one new rule to the caption contest: nothing dirty. c’mon, it’s jesus (or a facsimile thereof). play nice.
CONTENDERS
Amazingly, the Lord continued to play the invisible piano even after being squished by a giant invisible cube. (john)
Johnny, I already told you to stop talking during the Sunday School lesson. Now go sit in the creepy Jesus chair and think about your actions! (john)
Jesus perhaps a little too self-absorbed during 7th grade woodworking class. (lars rood)
Your beer can fits perfectly in the Lord’s hand. (andy jack)
…and when Goldilocks sat down in the Jesus chair it was just right… (rooster)
Jesus Carpentry Tip #118 – BE the chair. (luke)
“Holy Sit!” (brian aaby)
AND THE WINNER IS…
not as many top-shelf contenders this time, but a few really great ones!
i’m gonna go with john’s:
Johnny, I already told you to stop talking during the Sunday School lesson. Now go sit in the creepy Jesus chair and think about your actions!
john – shoot me an email with your book choice!
Jesus: like Brookstone, except without the shiatsu massage feature.
Amazingly, the Lord continued to play the invisible piano even after being squished by a giant invisible cube.
Johnny, I already told you to stop talking during the Sunday School lesson. Now go sit in the creepy Jesus chair and think about your actions!
The Crystal Cathedral reveals it’s Grand Giver Thank You Gift for anyone who gives $1K or more to the Hour of Power during the month of March.
sold separately: the judas – foot stool…only 30 pieces of silver
Then Jesus said, “Let’s go to a place where we can be alone and get some rest.” (Mark 6: 31 CEV)
The new Prosperity Gospel Chair, like Santa, sit and ask for whatever you want!
The Jesus Chair….way more comfortable than the Peter chair…that ones like a rock.
#2 Jesus perhaps a little too self-absorbed during 7th grade woodworking class.
Please note the chair on the right which is wearing a “What Would the Jesus Chair Do?” bracelet!
opps, chair on the left
If you weigh over 300lbs, please be like mary and sit at Jesus’ feet.
Your beer can fits perfectly in the Lord’s hand.
Let the little children come to me…..I’m providing a place to sit.
Yea though I walk through the aisles of the craft store, I will fear no evil for Thou art with me…
The awkward scuba diving accident had left Jesus permanently stuck in his wetsuit.
Emergent Village Chair Set: Great for the “Conversation!”
“Come sit on me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Jesus chair (right); Goliath chair (left)
No wonder Satan tempted Jesus with bread after 40 days of fasting.
Jesus pounded Marko in the Biggest Loser!
And Jesus said to his disciples, “Suffer…”
My yoke is easy and my burden is light.*
*Osha rated up to 200 lbs only.
i don’t see how i can top John’s comment about the invisible piano. 5 minutes later i’m still laughing.
I don’t use Jesus as a crutch, I need a chair!
Come, let the little children sit on me.
Leaning, leaning, leaning on the ever-lasting arm…
Let’s be honest: we all see Jesus as Santa anyway, right? Now –like Santa– you can actually sit on the Savior’s lap when you dictate to Him your wishlist.
Proof for your friends that Jesus is right were you need him to be.
Ikea-engineered functionality with an Eternal guarantee
…and when Goldilocks sat down in the Jesus chair it was just right…
Jesus Carpentry Tip #118 – BE the chair.
Jesus is seated at the right hand of the Father. OK class, take a random pair of those words and see what you can come up with.
And on a different note who stole Jesus’ motorbike?
As Mary’s portrait business took off, Joseph’s struggling carpentry business took on a new look.
Rejected pulpit furniture from TBN.
Worried about teenagers using the internet? Just use the Master Chair for your computer desk chair for only $316.
Reading Luke’s caption, I had to laugh…
“BE the chair.”
Re-reading Lamb, and it reminded me of Joshua & Biff when Joshua tells him to BE the crap.
Funny stuff.
Imagine the Journey Song “Open Arms” playing in the back ground.
This chair could rival the Travelocity gnome.
“Holy Sit!”
No caption this time, but I do have a bunch of images floating in my mind. The weirdest is just imagining that chair as one of the props from Dr. Evil’s lair, where they drop people into the fire pit below.
Truly not a comment, because that would be SUCH bad theology. It would need to swivel left and right to be good theology…. ;)
Oh, and I just realized from Scott’s comment – does that mean that The Father is wearing a WWJD bracelet? Or rather, is that a ONE bracelet? (seated at the right hand of the Father….)
“Come, all ye who are heavy-laden and… HEY! Get off me! Just because I’m shaped like a chair doesn’t mean you get to sit on me. I’m trying to teach here. Didn’t anybody ever tell you people about metaphor?”
– Chair-Shaped Jesus in a candid moment with bible literalists
We always set out an empty chair for Jesus, but this is ridiculous.
I’ve got nothing to offer to the quality of captions here. (Love “invisible piano”, John.)
But I started thinking about what it would be like to actually *sit* in this chair. Attempt to rest your arm, and all of a sudden you’re awkwardly holding Jesus’ hand. Attempt to lean back, and Jesus’ bony nose pokes you in the back of the head. Lean your head to the side, and suddenly Jesus is nosily looking over your shoulder.
The only thing that could make the experience more awkward would be to cut a round hole in the middle of the seat.
Order now and we’ll throw in the earth-shaped footstool for free!
Collect the whole set and make your dining room table look just like DaVinci’s Last Supper!
tour guide: “jesus was a carpenter…this is actually one of his first works. he called it – self portrait”
Cherubim:
redneck dictionary:It’s the Jesus cherubim sittin’ on!
Dressed in the finest of first century capris this Jesus chair is sure to be a hot item on the must have this Christmas.
Cue music:
Sitting, sitting, sitting on the promises of Christ my Savior…..