alternate names for ‘i can’t believe it’s not butter’ spread

a list, from mcsweeney’s, as printed in the book mountain man dance moves, and read on my sony reader ebook

alternate names for ‘i can’t believe it’s not butter’ spread
by bob shea

“not butter? then what the hell did i just eat?” spread

“i still say it’s butter” spread

“after all the damage you’ve done to this family with your habitual lying and deceit, you have the nerve to sit there with a straight face and tell me that this isn’t butter?” spread

“i’m pretty sure that was butter” spread

“i’m comfortable calling this butter” spread

“this challenges everything i’ve come to believe about butter” spread

“i’m not entirely sure it’s edible” spread

“i’m willing to suspend disbelief about this being butter for about as long as it takes me to eat this toast” spread

“in the absense of actual butter, sure, i’ll play along” spread

“i guess you could call it butter. if you don’t but any in your mouth” spread

“i can’t believe it’s so flammable” spread

3 thoughts on “alternate names for ‘i can’t believe it’s not butter’ spread”

  1. How about “I can’t believe some people can’t believe this isn’t butter” I think it’s pretty awful stuff maybe tour UK version is different?

  2. Nope. I can definitely believe it’s not butter, and their “clever” title doesn’t convince me otherwise.

  3. I love Demitri Martin’s joke “I mixed butter with I can’t believe it’s not butter to make I can believe some of it’s butter…” the rest of the routine about the butter substitute is awesome as well..

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