i’m guessing most of you have heard about “we love our youth worker” by now. i thought i had blogged about it months ago; but the other day i was looking for that post, and no such thing existed. so here we go!

“we love our youth worker” is a grass roots movement, not a business or ministry organization. it was initially started by friends of mine in england, a couple years ago. after absolutely stunning viral engagement there, some good-hearted youth workers in new england (hmm, england/new england — maybe…) took the lead on bring it here to the states, where it’s just now launching.

we love our youth worker is a covenant, signed (ideally) by both churches and youth workers. churches and youth workers make seven commitments to each other that serve as a baseline for health, longevity, and communication. churches can make it known, during a hiring process, that they have signed the WLOYW covenant; and that say something to candidates who know. likewise, youth workers who sign the covenant are making very specific commitments to their churches.

here are the seven commitments churches make:

We will pray and spiritually support
We will give space for retreat and reflection
We will provide ongoing training and development
We will give at least one full day of rest per week
We will share responsibility
We will strive to be an excellent employer
We will celebrate and appreciate

and here are the seven commitments youth workers make:

We will pray for our church, its leaders and members and our community
We will make our own spiritual growth a priority
We will commit to continued learning and growth
We will take at least one day off each week and vacation time
We will ask for help and share the youth ministry with others
We will strive to be excellent employees
We will celebrate our church’s investment in youth ministry

man, that’s some healthy stuff.

in my work, as you can imagine, i have heard horror story after horror story of churches that mistreat youth workers. and, of course, i sometimes hear stories of youth workers with less-than-stellar practices and communication skills. signing a covenant isn’t a guarantee, of course; but it elevates important communication about expectations.

here’s the endorsement i wrote almost a year ago for the “we love our youth worker” website:

I have found that the single biggest reason for the friction that is all-too-common between youth workers and churches boils down to mismatched expectations and both sides adopting postures of suspicion. My deep hope is that, when churches and youth workers agree to the 7 commitments in WLOYW, both will have a framework for shared expectations, and – maybe more importantly – a posture of support and mutual encouragement. Yes, Lord, may it be so!

i strongly encourage you (whether you’re a paid youth worker, or in some other role in a church, volunteer or paid) to poke around the website. you can easily find the process for accreditation, as well as a pdf booklet, and a powerpoint presentation that will help explain the whole thing.

the youth cartel strongly endorses we love our youth worker, and hope that thousands of churches and youth workers will get on board.

more than fifteen years ago, i identified three 7th and 8th grade guys in my junior high ministry and started meeting with them, as a group, as guys i wanted to mentor. i saw both a spiritual interest and leadership potential in each of them. i think back on this little group as one of my many fond memories over my 30 years in middle school ministry.

one of those guys was michael. other than one or two facebook connections in recent years, i’d mostly lost touch with michael. until a week ago. all i knew was that michael had, in the years since, seemed to drift away from the church (and maybe his faith?).

last week, while visiting the city michael now lives in, i got to have coffee with him. it was a blast to reconnect and hear his story. he’s a highly committed volunteer youth worker at his church these days, which–of course–brings me great joy.

but hearing michael’s story fascinated me. his freshman year of high school, michael had a traumatic skateboard accident and was incapacitated for three months. even though he’d been extremely involved in the youth ministry, no students called him while he was out, or came by to visit him. a couple leaders reached out, but no students.

the sunday morning he returned, not one person asked him where he’d been or how he was, or expressed that they’d missed him. a switch flipped, and michael suddenly, in that space (remember: he was a 14 year-old 9th grader at the time), saw that he didn’t belong. and he never came back.

a dozen years passed. michael got involved in a bunch of destructive habits, dropped out of high school (even though he was always an extremely intelligent guy), got his G.E.D., moved to another city, and sort of drifted through life. he said he never really dropped his belief in god, but he was very angry with the church. over time, this anger at the church grew to a calcified belief that the church was a joke, and merely a collective of hypocrites.

after a dozen years, michael felt the pull to try out a local church he’d heard about. funny thing is, while it might have been god’s spirit prompting him to return, michael’s entire reason for giving it a shot was to prove, to himself, that he was right about how cold and hypocritical the church was. by this time, michael had tattoos up and down his arms. he purposely wore a sleeveless shirt that morning, as an intentional dare to whoever would look at him funny or say something negative about his tattoos.

michael was walking across the parking lot of this church, steeling himself for the negative response he was confident he would receive. but the first person he encountered said, “great tats, man. who does your work?”

that was it. michael was back.

here’s what i find stunning about this story. the actions that caused michael to leave, and the action that opened the door to his return, were so very, very minor. they weren’t about structures or methodologies or programming or curriculum or buildings or youth rooms. they were both–negative and positive–about expressing (or not expressing), “you belong, and we want you here.”

amazing. seems life a puff of air — something so featherweight. but in negative and, thankfully, redemptive ways, these seemingly minor expressions shaped michael’s story more than anything else over the last 15 years.

how is your youth ministry embodying the value of belonging?

this is the final post in this series of 2 sentence book reviews. part 1 was fiction, part 2 was general non-fiction, part 3 was a combo of young adult fiction and graphic novels. this time around i’m covering christian non-fiction and youth ministry.

i allow myself (with a few exceptions this time) one sentence for summary, and one sentence for opinion.

Christian Non-Fiction

Jesus, My Father, The CIA, and Me: A Memoir… of Sorts, by Ian Morgan Cron
5 stars
Autobiographical stories of a unique childhood with a tyrant father, with spiritual commentary. Cron’s writing is about as good as it gets in Christian publishing, and his storytelling and reflections make this a “c’mon, you’ve gotta read it” book.

Liberate Eden, by Greg Fromholz
App: 5 stars
Book: 3 stars
Book-as-app about our connection to creation, I think. The app is the most creative thing I’ve seen in publishing in a long time, but the actual book is wordy and wanders (it actually annoyed me).

The Day Metallica Came to Church: Searching for the Everywhere God in Everything, by John Van Sloten
5 stars
Adventures at the intersection of Bible and culture. Fantastic insights, particularly the author’s concepts of bible and culture as both co-illuminating and counter-balancing.

Youth Ministry

Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids, by Kara E. Powell and Chap Clark
4.5 stars
Researched-based and practical help for parents who desire for their children’s faith to last beyond the teenage years. some amazing chapters and some ok-to-good chapters, but overall highly recommended (i’m recommending it to parents constantly).

Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults: Life-Giving Rhythms for Spiritual Transformation, by Richard R. Dunn and Jana L. Sundene (releases march 3, 2012)
4.5 stars
i’m departing from my 2 sentence approach for this one, because i wrote an official endorsement for it:
When it comes to young adults, the American church seems to be stuck between hand-wringing (“Why are there no 20somethings in our church?”) and finger pointing (“Why don’t those people grow up?”). Neither of these responses are particularly helpful. Thankfully, Sundene and Dunn sidestep this lose-lose response and suggest a relational approach, not a program. Shaping the Journey of Emerging Adults is praxis at its best: research and theologically informed, yet real-world practical.

As For Me and My (Crazy) House: Protecting Your Heart, Marriage, and Family from the Demands of Ministry, by Brian Berry (release march, 2012)
5 stars
slight variation on my 2 sentence approach, here are the last two sentences of the foreword i wrote for this helpful book:
In this fantastic book you’re about to read, Brian doesn’t position himself as a model or an expert, but a fellow traveler. However, you could do a lot worse than to learn from the imbalanced-yet-sustainable, full life of this author, my friend.

a bonus review!!

Awkward Family Photos, by Mike Bender and Doug Chernack
4 stars
just what it says. hilarious.

recently, three women in the developing world were awarded the nobel peace prize for their work. read this article on cnn.com to learn more about these three amazing women and why they were chosen.

but this quote from one of them — liberian president Ellen Johnson Sirleaf — really caught my eye (and mind, and heart):

“I urge my sisters, and my brothers, not to be afraid. Be not afraid to denounce injustice, though you may be outnumbered. Be not afraid to seek peace, even if your voice may be small. Be not afraid to demand peace.”

ooh — sounds biblical. i want my life to be a part of that.

serious props to the makers of this video. what a kick!

(ht to Amy L, who linked to this in a comment on my last post)

adam and i were thrilled with how the extended adolescence symposium played out. we had a nice intimate turn-out that lent itself to robust dialogue and engagement. the speakers dove in, and kara powell did a great job of translating and fielding questions.

the ‘launch ministry’ blog has a great three part summary of the day:

part 1 – short overview. a snippet:

While in agreement on the general characteristics and trends of young people, the two presenters had vastly different responses to the data. Dr. Arnett views himself as a researcher and is very hesitant to create prescriptive responses to emerging adulthood. When pressed, he seems to indicate that this new stage of life is an unavoidable reality. This is the way things are now and are likely to be in the near future. As a society, we need to begin thinking about how to change our systems and structures to adjust to this new reality. He used the example of young adults being able to stay on their parents’ health insurance until age 26 as one positive idea for what this might look like.

Dr. Epstein, however, views himself as an agent of social change. He believes that emerging adulthood is a problem to be fixed. T0 him, the immaturity and delay of adulthood means that our social structures are broken. We need to change our parenting methods and our educational system to stop infantilizing young people and make them take responsibility for their actions while teaching them the competencies they need in order to make it in the world.

part 2 – framing a response. a snippet:

As I wrote at the end of the previous post, while I appreciate Dr. Epstein’s ideas about stopping the infantilization of young people and instilling competencies, the reality is that even if as a society we fully engaged his suggestions, we would still have generations of emerging adults that are experiencing difficulties. Because of this, I believe our response must include a directed response toward emerging adults and those that soon will be as well as a component that seeks to prevent the more destructive elements of this life stage.

Additionally, since this is a broad sociological issue throughout (primarily) western culture, our solutions and responses must include both activity within the church as well as beyond the walls of the church. My quadrant, then, will include reflections regarding earlier prevention as well as a direct response working with the current generation of emerging adults both inside and outside the church.

part 3 – implications for churches. a snippet:

A role in the community is something that young adults need and lack. This is especially true of emerging adults that do not attend a four year college. Those that do have a culturally defined role of ‘college student’ that has certain expectations around it. Those that do not, however, are left floundering in a weird in-between place where there is no role that helps define who they are. Could churches intentionally engage emerging adults, creating opportunities for leadership within the church and in the community? Maybe there could be post-high school internships or leadership development programs than intentionally seek to provide a role for emerging adults. Perhaps in some contexts there is room for a specific emerging adult ministry (a more mature youth group for college aged young people?), though I think that this could be problematic if the group does not intentionally find ways to connect emerging adults with older adults in the church.

i wrote a short piece on extended adolescence for churchleaders.com recently, on why churches should care about extended adolescence. here’s a snippet, from the middle of the piece:

Churches are realizing two things: teenagers leave after youth group, and there are no young adults in our church. Sure, there might be a lame and weird little young adult group of some sort; but in many churches, you know your average high school graduate wouldn’t be caught dead going to that group.

In response, churches around North America are creating young adult youth groups. Really, that’s what they are (of course, they wouldn’t call them that). And this, my youth worker friends, is only perpetuating and extending some of the very problems we’re discovering about how we’ve approached youth group for the past 40 years or so. Isolation isn’t the church; homogeneity doesn’t have much of a scent of the Kingdom of God. And creating these pockets of isolation only further removes the onramps to adulthood that teenagers (and now “emerging adults”) so desperately need.

Here’s why I care about this: just like I don’t want my 13 year old son to have the same faith he had when he was 8, I hope he isn’t stuck with his current faith when he’s 26. And, I feel the same for every teenager in my church. To be honest, I feel the same about every teenager in your church.

go here to read the whole thing.

join us in atlanta on november 21 for the extended adolescence symposium, where we’ll wrestle with these important issues with the help of three of america’s leading experts on the subject.

i wrote a bit recently about why youth workers should care about extended adolescence for the immerse journal blog. here’s a bit from the middle of the piece:

Do you realize that adolescence in America is now considered almost 20 years long? The onset of puberty has dropped; but the bigger change is on the upper end. Adolescent researchers now consider adolescence to extend all the way through the 20s for most.

There’s a complex set of reasons for this, and they’re not all bad (I’m sure you can think about it and come up with several of those reasons). But here’s the tricky part for me, as someone who’s passionately called to youth ministry: my calling is not about keeping teenagers in adolescence! My calling (and I assume yours) is about raising up young adult disciple of Jesus who understand and own their faith. Really, my calling (and yours) is about raising up adult disciples, if we take the long view. I have no interest in investing my life into the idea of keeping teenagers where they are. Discipleship is about going somewhere!

How should this new reality impact our work with teenagers (let alone 20-somethings)?

What does this mean for the spiritual lives and faith formation of teenagers?

If creating a new ‘youth group’ for young adults, prolonging their isolation from the adults in the church isn’t in answer, but those students have no interest in going to cold and dry adult worship service, what options do we have?

How can we do ministry in the real world teenagers live in, but still be counter-cultural, providing onramps to adulthood?

click here for the rest of the article

and, join us as we wrestle with questions like this at the extended adolescence symposium in atlanta, on november 21.

once again, thanks to kevin winningham for sending me this beauty. oh, so many possibilities here!

a free copy of my new book for parents (which releases in december), understanding your young teen, goes to the winner!

CONTENDERS

laughed out loud at some of these.

Jeff Simpson
It was a rough start to the What Would Jesus Drive? campaign.

Justin Roberts
…Jesus wrecked…shortest verse in the Bible

Shane Mullin
This is my van, broken for you…

landon
the most awkward part is the tow truck driver is an atheist.

Gman
Looking back: The David Crowder Band – the Early Years.

Taylor
Tow truck driver: Wow, this is totally metaphorical.
Jesus Rodriguez: Que?

Brock
For some reason Jesus van would always lose power when he entered his hometown!

Othy
The Christian version of “Scooby Doo” just didn’t do as well as the makers of “Fireproof” expected.

Jason
And lo on the third day, the garage door was rolled away like a stone, and two mechanics in white greeted the women. “Your van is not here. It has risen! Come, see the place where it lay!”

Jeremy
Dangit Jim, Im a carpenter, not a mechanic.

Matt
Sadly, Judas, who was a lover of money, spent all that the disciples had on some SICK rims, leaving no money for gas.

Tim Falk
If you REALLY are the Van of God…tow yourself!

AND THE WINNER IS…
this was tough this time! i’m here at the middle school ministry campference, doing some final prep with kurt johnston and scott rubin, and we all voted. we came up with a top three:

third place honorable mention:
Othy
The Christian version of “Scooby Doo” just didn’t do as well as the makers of “Fireproof” expected.

runner-up (so dang funny!):
Taylor
Tow truck driver: Wow, this is totally metaphorical.
Jesus Rodriguez: Que?

taking the prize (brilliant):
Shane Mullin
This is my van, broken for you…

shoot me an email, shane, so i can keep it in my inbox and remember to send you the prize when it comes out in december!

i wrote a web article for the immerse journal blog back in july. then i forgot about it. so it was a nice surprise to see it show up there today! and, the funny timing is: i wrote this before we’d decided to do the extended adolescence symposium. it’s proof i’ve been stewing on this for a while!

here’s a selection from the article:

I was on the phone with a well-known author the other day, talking about extended adolescence. He was asking me questions—in a healthy, skeptical way—about my slowly evolving contention that while we need to acknowledge cultural realities and do ministry in their context, the juggernaut of extended adolescence is something we can and should undermine, at least in our own homes and churches.

After almost 30 minutes of conversation, we arrived at a key crossroads. He made a statement I find to be indicative of the majority opinion of American adults: “It seems to me that the problem you’re referring to comes down to the self-centeredness of young adults today. They’re extremely selfish and have no interest in taking responsibility or becoming adults.”

I paused and took a breath. Then I responded (trying to use “yes, and” language rather than “you’re wrong” language), “Yes, I can totally see why you would say that. Today’s young adults do tend to have a level of narcissism that wasn’t as dominantly present 20 years ago. But that begs the question of why. I suggest they’re narcissistic because they’ve spent their entire lives in families and classrooms and churches and marketing messages that consistently tell them, that everything is all about them. To blame young adults for being narcissistic is like blaming an attack dog for biting. We have isolated teenagers, and now young adults, and then told them their culture is better than ours. Why would they ever want to grow out of that stage of life? How could they?”

click through to read the rest. there’s some good stuff in the comments section, btw.

click here to check out the info on the extended adolescence symposium.