looking at my travel schedule over the next few months, i have a handful of days or evenings where i’ll be stuck in a particular city in-between other engagements. that means, if you’d like me to:
- speak for your youth group or event
- lead a parent training event
- lead some youth ministry training
- provide some consulting, or a bit of custom coaching
i’m available without you needing to pay travel costs.

here’s the list:

sunday morning and afternoon, february 12, in chicago, il

thursday, march 8, in san antonio, tx

friday, march 9, in vancouver, bc

saturday evening, march 17, in detroit, mi

sunday, march 18, in detroit, mi

friday evening, april 20, in atlanta, ga

saturday evening, april 21, in either atlanta, ga, or nashville, tn

sunday morning, april 22, in either atlanta, ga, or nashville, tn

sunday afternoon or evening, april 22, in nashville, tn

wednesday evening, april 25, in nashville, tn

sunday, may 6, in detroit, mi

if you’d like to connect about the possibility of me helping you, please shoot me an email at marko@theyouthcartel.com

my latest book, understanding your young teen: practical wisdom for parents, is officially available! i’m stoked. it’s my first book written for parents, and covers a wide variety of developmental issues about middle schoolers, as well as practical implications for parenting.

here’s the official description:

Between the ages of 11-14, adolescents experience one of the most significant periods of change they’ll face during their lifetimes—physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. Mothers and fathers of young teens are presented with new challenges in understanding, communicating with and parenting their kids during this time in their lives. Understanding Your Young Teen offers insights on early adolescent development, new research and cultural changes, and practical applications for parenting and living with young teens. Mark Oestreicher has worked with young teens for nearly three decades, and is also the parent of two teenagers. Based on his research and experience, this book is presented to parents of young teens as a conversation from one parent to another. With transparency about his own experience parenting, and examples from his extensive involvement with thousands of other young teens and parents, Understanding Your Young Teen dives into the developmental realities of early adolescence. Oestreicher educates parents on the latest research and cultural shifts that affect their children, revealing opportunities for faith formation in the lives of young teens.

we’re selling it at a discount on the youth cartel store. if you want to buy a bunch of ‘em for parents in your ministry, let me know, and we’ll see about doing something special for you (like, a note for your parents, or me skyping into a parent meeting, or maybe even special pricing). i spoke to a group of 50 parents at bay presbyterian church in bay village, ohio, on the content of the book, last weekend. had a great time with them.

here’s the full cover (you can click on it to see it larger)…

last year, when i visited haiti two times, i mentioned the son of god orphanage over and over again. i posted photos, told stories, and rallied people. i brought my church’s senior pastor to haiti, and we established a church to church partnership that has, over the last 15 months, flourished in beautiful ways, including hundreds people from our church visiting the son of god orphanage, and a wide variety of help being provided.

i connected with a boy named jean-michelle there on one of my trips (this photo is of me and him), and keep his little signature taped to the wall in front of my desk. he gave it to me and asked, “please remember me.” it makes me ill to wonder whether jean-michelle is still there or has been sold off (or killed off, or abused) in the year since i’ve seen him.

so, i’ve been so sad over the last few months to have suspicions raised about mistreatment and trafficking. now, the proof has been documented. and six organizations — my church among them — are lobbying various haitian and american governmental agencies, as well as cnn and some other organizations, to shut this orphanage down quickly, before the remaining children are sold or abused in some other way. as the press release below states, there is strong reason to suspect that the haitian governmental department responsible for oversight in this area is complicit in the problem, which great complicates it.

here’s the press release that was issued yesterday:

After continued visits to the Son of God Orphanage in Carrefour, Haiti, six charitable organizations (Adventures in Missions, Bridgeway Church, Timberline Church, Children’s HopeChest, Journey Community Church, and Respire Haiti) have challenged the global community to force the hands of international leaders in the closure and investigation of the facility.

According to eye-witness accounts, the children at SOG have suffered some of the most heinous human rights abuses at the hands of the director of the orphanage, Maccene (Max) Hyppolite and his family.

Despite consistent delivery of relief for each child, including food, clothes, and medicine, the children have continued to suffer from malnourishment, curable diseases and parasites, as well as complete neglect of acute medical conditions.

A recent account included a one-year old baby who was severely burned and not treated until almost two weeks later.

Police conducted a successful sting operation after numerous individuals had been solicited by Hyppolite to purchase children. In July of 2011, Max Hyppolite was arrested while attempting to sell one of the orphans and he is currently in prison for child trafficking in Port au Prince.

Continued accounts from as recent as October 13th, 2011 indicate that the situation has only become worse, and to date there are 53 children who have disappeared and are unaccounted for.

The orphanage is currently being run by Hyppolite’s wife, Mary, who not only continues to say she does not know the whereabouts of the children, but has also threatened the lives of the relief workers who have sought assistance in from the Haitian government organization, IBESR (Institut du Bien Etre et de Recherches).

Given the sharing of information from IBESR to the Hyppolite family, cause for speculation has arisen regarding the government’s involvement in the trafficking of the children.

The six aforementioned organizations have worked together with Change.org to bring this issue to light. They have asked the global community to give these children the voice that has been stolen from them in hopes of world leaders recognizing the human rights violations occurring and the immediate call for the closure and investigation of the Son of God Orphanage in Haiti.

would you please help in this tiny, simple, but powerful way? would you please click though on these two petitions, and sign them both? please: close to 2000 people read this blog every day. if each of you would take 2 minutes (literally) to do this, you could play a role in saving the lives of these precious children in haiti.

Sign the original petition urging CNN to expose abuse & trafficking at Son of God Orphanage in Carrefour, Haiti
Sign the follow-up petition calling on Haitian President Michel Martelly and global leaders to close Son of God Orphanage and order an immediate investigation of the IBESR

everyone has their 9/11 story. i’ve decided to write mine out, so i remember it. there are many reasons i want to remember it, as you’ll see.

the spanish division of youth specialties, called especialidades juveniles, had been holding an amazing youth workers convention in argentina for a few years already. but in 2001, my wife attended with me. my parents traveled from michigan to san diego to stay with our young children. jeannie and i added a short-but-wonderful trip on the front end to visit iguazu fall, on the border of argentina, paraguay and brazil. other than our time at iguazu, mike yaconelli was with us also, and that trip is one of my fondest memories of time spent with him. jeannie, mike and i had a blast in buenos aires, eating bife de chorizo steaks the size of a prizefighter’s fist, making daily trips to our favorite cigar lounge, and spending wonderful time with the youth workers of central and south america.

we flew home, overnight, on september 10 and 11.

after an all-night flight, we landed in chicago. in that strange space of being tired and wired at the same time, looking forward to seeing our kids, we cleared customs and boarded our flight to san diego early in the morning. about 20 minutes into the flight, the plane made a noticeable 180-degree turn, bringing all of us to our first of dozens of alerts. the pilot said we were being sent back to chicago, but he didn’t know why. groans and complaints all around. it was the concerned look on the face of the flight attendant, however, that really caught my attention. she was standing nearby, and in her nervousness, started chatting (probably more than she should have) with one or two passengers. “in all my years of flying, i’ve never had this happen without an explanation.”

fifteen minutes later, we banked right, heading south. the pilot said we were being re-routed to st. louis. st. louis? then he told us something that caused emotional pandemonium: “all air traffic in the country is being grounded immediately.”

if this happened today, we would all instantly know it was related to terrorism. but we had no reference for this kind of terrorism. it wasn’t a concept in our lexicon of potential explanations. even, just as we landed, when a passenger turned on his cell phone and announced the news that there was something about a plane and one of the world trade center towers (the first tower), no one even mentioned terrorism — it just wasn’t on our radar, so to speak. theories abounded, the flight attendant grew increasingly jittery, and everyone grumbled about the inconvenience and how we were all going to get out of st. louis.

as we were grabbing our things to leave the plane, we got just enough information to formulate a very fuzzy understanding of what was going on; and it was clear we were not going to be leaving st. louis on the next flight home. we stumbled into the concourse, trying to figure out what to do next. walking down the concourse, we stood nearby a bar with televisions playing the news (i notice this bar, and these televisions, every time i pass through the st. louis airport). while standing there, we watched the live footage of the plane flying into the second tower. i remember that, after a collective gasp, the entire airport went momentarily silent, as everyone tried to make some sense of what was happening. an announcement came over the p.a. saying that the airport would be closing.

we realized we had to find a place to stay, and that it would be tricky with so many people doing the same. jeannie and mike went to get our luggage while i scrambled to find a hotel. i didn’t travel with my cell phone on international trips at that time, and mike’s cell phone was useless, but i found one of those banks of phones with ads for hotels above them. i called many and was told they were already sold out. eventually, i found us two rooms at a big casino hotel on the river.

fast forward: we spent 5 days in st. louis. for much of it, we were glued to the tv, either in one of our rooms, or somewhere else in the hotel. the sports bar has a massive multi-panel tv, and it was constantly on cnn. for the remainder of that first day, the casino was empty (though the incessant ding-ding-ding of slot machines continued to call out their ‘notice me’ clarion). we vacillated between nervousness, horror, and sheer boredom, with tiny bits of the enjoyment of being in this together thrown in. i’m sure it sounds strange, but i look back on those days with a bit of fondness, because it was time spent with yac. jeannie and i were relieved that my parents were with our kids.

of course, we were trying to figure out how to get home, and the story from the airlines was changing by the hour. one of us was on hold with the airline multiple times throughout each day. at about day 4, we started talking about renting a car and driving all the way from st. louis to san diego. my dad, who had pressing issues to get back to at work, flew home to detroit, and my mom was alone with our kids. we were sick of waiting, and not getting anywhere with the airline.

on the 5th day, we made a car rental reservation, checked out of our hotel, and took the casino shuttle back to the airport, where we planned on catching the car rental shuttle and start our long drive home. but, while waiting for the car rental shuttle, we decided to go inside the airport and check flights one more time. and, while our airline was still a mess, a gracious agent was able to get us on a partner airline leaving soon.

we were home that night.

on the way to the airport yesterday morning, i noticed a large collection of inflatable attractions in the parking lot of a mall. one of them was a giant inflatable slide in the shape of a sinking titanic, its propellers up in the air, its bow, by inference, below the parking lot surface. what is it, i wondered, that allows that, while the events of 9/11 still bring such an emotional response? is it only time? is it that 9/11 happened to us?

why do i not feel the same kind of emotion for travesties — man-made and otherwise — around the world in the last decade? i can only conclude that it’s because i had a personal, emotional experience of 9/11.

i was only inconvenienced by 9/11. others, of course, experienced life-altering loss. either way, there’s no denying that the world — my world — has changed since that day.

i’ve been hankering for a new tattoo (my 5th) for some time now. i had this idea of getting my wife and kids’ initials inked, in some sort of interlocking monogram style.

so, while jeannie and i were in hawaii a few weeks ago, celebrating our 25th anniversary, it seemed like a good reference point to get it done. i got a recommendation from a local, met with the artist and told him what i was thinking, and he drew it up. in old school tattooing letters, that’s a J (for jeannie), M (for max), and L (for liesl). each letter is filled with the favorite color of that person. i’m really happy with how it turned out, and that it’s in a place where i can see it everyday, reminding me of my priorities and my love for my family.

my middle school guys small group, at our final meeting this past wednesday night.

i’m sitting in the los angeles airport as i write this, ready to board a flight with my amazing wife jeannie. we’re heading to kauai, hawaii, for 11 days, in celebration of our 25th anniversary (which was actually in january). we’d talked for years about what to do for our 25th anniversary, and strongly considered taking the trip to italy we’ve dreamed of for years. but the freelance lifestyle is a financially cautious lifestyle (you could say we couldn’t afford it, or that we just weren’t comfortable spending that kind of money).

so, we looked into other options. my parents had given us a week of their timeshare to use at some point, so we combined that with an offer to stay in a friend’s cabin on kauai, hawaii, and booked flights with miles. when the cabin turned out to be double-booked, my friend called in a favor, and got us a comp’d room at the sheraton poi’pu. so, other than paying for food and fun and a rental car (and someone to stay with our kids for 11 days!), we have a pretty amazing anniversary trip for next to nothing.

add to that: tomorrow (may 24th) is my birthday. yup, the big 48. crazy close to 50, man.

so… i refuse to hang out online while chillaxing with jeannie in hawaii. i should probably (note to self) start doing what i see so many others do in situations like this, and line up a bunch of guest posts. but i didn’t. so i’m taking a 10 day blog sabbatical.

i hope your next 10 days are at least a fraction as awesome as i expect mine will be.

rachel, it’s amazing to realize that you’re graduating from high school. i have very rarely met a young woman with so much drive and personal discipline. i am confident that god will use you to impact the world.

i have a sense that you could have gotten into any college or university you wanted to attend. and i think you could succeed wildly in a wide variety of careers. so that reality that you’ve chosen to pursue youth ministry is an amazing thing. so many who pursue youth ministry, unfortunately, do so because they think it will be “fun”, or because they’re not sure what else to do (and know that they enjoyed their own youth ministry experience). but you could do anything, and you have the brilliance and discipline to make it happen. we need more people like you in youth ministry.

you’re in a very unique place, being a female evangelical pursuing youth ministry, and being a white suburban young adult sensing a calling to urban youth work. you know there will be plenty who will try to limit you – because of your gender or theology or background. but i know you will face that opposition with a strong sense of resolve and a twinkle in your eye. i want to encourage you to remember that your calling comes from god, and that other peoples’ opinions of what you can or can’t do should not distract or discourage you. the trick — for which you will need a healthy dose of grace and patience from god — will be to follow your calling while not dismissing or dismantling the naysayers. confidence blended with compassion and grace is a powerful mix, and with christ in you, is a well you’ll need to draw from.

north park university is such a great fit for you, and i’m stoked about how you’ll be challenged and stretched there.

it makes this youth ministry uncle’s heart very proud to have a third family member pursue vocational youth ministry (yo, zack!). but i know you’re going to do this in your own way, and that totally rocks.

i’ll look forward with great anticipation to talking about your courses and what you’re learning. and i can’t wait to see how you join up with the work of the kingdom in the world of youth ministry. i love you, and i’ll be praying for you.

i am a lousy listener.

i’ve improved some in recent years, with painful attention to being present. but, my natural inclination is to not listen. not that i intentionally choose to ignore. i just get distracted with other, seemingly more attractive or more pressing or more loud magnets of my focus.

nowhere is this more evident than with god.

i want some insight. i need some wisdom. i long for direction. but my plate is so full and my pace so quick and my distractions so plentiful that i have, i’m confident, power-stepped right past insight and wisdom and direction straight from heaven thousands of times (maybe even thousands of times per day).

and right now, i have a massive, life-altering decision in my lap. it’s a choice between good and good (even great and great); but the unfortunate and necessary reality of choosing between great things is that not choosing one of the great things is a loss. which means, in the end, a choice between great and great becomes a lose/lose proposition. whichever way i go on this, i’ll lose something. i know that sounds pessimistic — i’m a natural optimist, actually; it’s just the reality i’m facing.

in order to listen, i have to shut out the distractions of:

writing deadlines
event planning
coaching cohort launching
email
marketing
website development
branding
planning my talks for saturday’s parent summit
planning my talk for the college ministry sunday night
booking that flight
reviewing those 3 book proposals
sending out 2 invoices
tv
music
texting
facebook
google reader
and so, so many others things calling to me.

so i’m in the desert (actually, i left yesterday — wednesday — and set this post to go live today while i’m already out there). it’s a literal desert, by the way. not a figurative or metaphorical desert. i’m in the same cabin i’ve gone to many time previous, to seek god and listen and be silent. i’m fasting for two days (something i don’t practice often enough), unplugging, listening, journalling, praying, and generally shutting up.

it’s the worst time imaginable to leave my desk and go to the desert; which means it’s the most important time possible.

one of the participants in my youth ministry coaching program recently had a family threaten to leave his church. when asked why, the husband replied,

“you’re becoming emergent, oestreicher-esque, nouveau-cool.”

oestreicher-esque. ha! i would have preferred marko-esque, but i’m impressed the guy knew how to say my last name!