“every generation, in the history of the church, has had its defining issue. in our generation, the issue that’s facing the church is whether parents will be able to raise up a new generation for the future”

really? that’s our defining issue? you can’t think of any others?

that’s a direct quote from the documentary film ‘divided the movie.’ weeks ago, an online friend sent me a link to the film and asked if i knew i was in it, and what i thought of it. i’ll admit – i was kind of excited… until i watched it.

i’ve been sitting on this for weeks now, because i general try to avoid ripping on things in christendom (unless it’s snarky fun, like my old ‘jesus junk of the month’ awards). i know, or believe, that the creators of this film had good intentions. i believe — i choose to believe — that they were genuinely and rightly concerned about some stuff they saw in youth ministry and the church, and were motivated to use their trade to do something. and so much of what i think they were trying to say aligns with things i’ve been trying to say. all that to say, i really, really, really wanted to like this film. but i hated it.

i still wasn’t going to blog about it, though.

but i keep being asked about it (partially because i am in it, for about 5 seconds). i think people must assume i have something to do with it, or at least that the filmmakers had cleared it with me, or at least that the filmmakers had informed me. none of those assumptions would be true, i’m very sad (and slightly angry) to report.

the original guy who had contacted me knows the filmmakers. i do not. when i told him i was thinking about posting about it after all, he told me that he thought the makers would not be offended if i offered an honest critique, rather than just sarcasm or flippancy. that was a good gut-check, as my normal approach would have be a tendency to sarcasm or flippancy, at least some of the time. but resorting to sarcasm on this one is really just using a tool the filmmakers used that really frustrated me: tearing down straw men. more on that in second.

here’s the film’s website, where, at least at this point, you can watch the entire movie online. you can decide for yourself, and not agree with my slant. if you watch the bonus material clips, you’ll see more truth about this “film” revealed, which is that it’s less of a film, and more of an extended promo piece for the national center for family integrated churches.

so. the basic premise of the film is that parents should be responsible for the spiritual nurture and upbringing of their children and teenagers. good. i’m with them there. and we have plenty of research now (in addition to theology) that backs up the impact of parents taking the leading role. good. they also contend that isolating teenagers from the rest of the church is harmful to them. good. i’m with ‘em on that one too. and, they say that intergenerational relationships are key. yup. go get ‘em! let’s preach together!

but…

the problems from there on out are so numerous i hardly know where to start (and certainly don’t know where to end). but let’s start with that straw man thing. if you’re not familiar with the phrase, the idea is that it’s easy to tear down an idea or set of ideas if you construct a fake version of the idea in the first place. that approach is employed throughout the film. some examples:

- the oddly earnest young adult narrator (whom we can only assume is present in the film to give it a sense of ‘i’m one of them’, but who instead comes across as a puppet of some adult with a bigger agenda) interviews teenagers at a state fair like event (is it a christian festival? i think it was), asking about their various beliefs. from the three or four we’re shown, we are to conclude that all teenagers are going to hell in a handbasket. conclusion aside, the methodology of showing us a few selected camera-in-your-face interviews with teenagers, given pop-quiz questions about their faith in front of their peers, is hardly research. you got on a plane to film that?

- same thing is true for the filmmaker’s visit to the simply youth ministry conference. i’ve never been to this event (sure hope to someday!), but i know it’s a good event. i thought the filmmakers portrayed youth workers as idiots. and there’s not much more infuriating to me that that kind of set up.

- there’s a giant rabbit trail fairly early on about how many teenagers no longer believe in a literal 6 day creation. this is offered as the ‘shocking proof’ that we’re in deep doo-doo, and is corroborated only by ‘experts’ who would be promoting this point of view themselves.

- in fact, throughout the entire film, the ‘experts’ (who are all from an extremely right wing edge of the church; there’s not even a moderate interviewed (well, other than the clip of me!)) are there to offer soundbite, emotionally packed, fear-tinged, support of the film’s points, points which are–in theory–being suggested by a 19 year old in a snappy vest with a big travel budget. that math is not working, on any level.

when you construct straw men, then tear them down, it’s all very easy to be mean-spirited (which this film is), cocky (which this film is), and protective of your biases (which this film is). in fact, i think i can safely say that the whole thing is extremely manipulative (a lie?). for the narrator to say that he wonders about some things, and he’s setting off on a quest to find answers, becomes an obvious falsehood. there was no honest inquiry here. there was no genuine journalism. what there seems to have been is a well-funded donor with a pre-determined set of agenda items.

i was deeply bothered by this one underlying thrust that eventually got said in clear words more than once, even put on the screen in text:
‘there’s not a shred of evidence from genesis to revelation that age-segregated programmatic youth ministry ever existed.’

so? what a completely absurd claim! but it kills me, because there could have been some good stuff in there — i agree we have too much age segregation! i agree our youth ministries have been too program focused! but saying this approach to youth ministry is wrong because it’s not found in the bible?

ok, first of all, ask a jew how children and teenagers are trained in spiritual matters. you are not, i promise, going to hear a story about nuclear families (the way they’re defined in america, btw — not the way families were understood by a single original reader of the bible) doing all the work. kids were sent to training with a rabbi. at least through age 12 or so, when they were bar-mitzvah’d. and that was about the age at which they were expected to begin functioning as apprentice adults in that culture. and when the family was involved (certainly, they were, as all of culture revolved around the extended family relationship at that time), it wasn’t just dad (which increasingly, becomes the cry of this film, near the end. moms seem to fall by the wayside as the film progresses, leaving kids without dads SOL), it was a freakin’ clan! grandparents and aunts and uncles and that weird cousin benny. why do you think jesus’ parents weren’t worried about him for 2 whole days when he wasn’t with them on the trek home from jerusalem? was that a failure on joseph’s part?

secondly, let me list a small, non-exhaustive list of things most likely found in the churches and theologies of the filmmakers (many of which are in my church and theology also) for which ‘there’s not a shred of evidence from genesis to revelation’:
- baptismal pools
- church buildings
- hired clergy
- church budgets
- the word ‘trinity’ (though i certainly believe the concept is there)
- church busses
- sound systems
- children’s ministry
- men’s ministry
- women’s ministry
- senior adult ministry
- christian radio

i’m going to stop there, before i actually get snarky (that wasn’t, believe me). to say that youth ministry has to go away because our approach to youth ministry isn’t found in the bible is what, ultimately, pushed me to post on this.

if you read my post from last week, thanking youth workers for their work, on behalf of a dad, you’ll see some of my (righteous) anger surfacing.

let me try to land the plane here. yes, there are problems with the approach we’ve developed for youth ministry in the past four or five decades. i hope The Youth Cartel can do something about some of those. but the issues are much more complicated that simply pulling kids out of youth ministry, or shutting down your church youth ministry. i think youth ministry needs to change (that’s why The Youth Cartel is all about ‘instigating a revolution in youth ministry’); but i think youth ministry needs to stick around. yes, for those countless teenagers who do not have parents who will take the lead (i almost broke my ‘t’ key when i just typed ‘do not’, i was typing so hard!). but not just for them. i need youth ministry to stick around for MY CHILDREN! and, darn it, the guys who were in my last small group were from awesome homes, all with 2 original parents, all of whom were highly engaged in the faith development of their teenage boys. and i PROMISE YOU (YES, I’M YELLING) THAT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE PARENTS WOULD SAY THEY (AND THEIR SONS) NEEDED ME.

(breathe)

i want us all to talk about this stuff, because i think it’s massively important. i applaud the filmmakers for taking a risk. frankly, i’d enjoy some healthy and feisty dialogue. we should do a panel on this at some youth ministry event! “Divided over Divided the Movie” i pray a blessing, not a curse, on their heads. and i hope that somehow, as god has done over and over and over again through my flawed messages, that god will use your film to draw parents into relationship with their teenager sons and daughters. if that’s the result, i will will praise god with you. if it’s not, maybe we can still praise god together.

after i wrote this post, i discovered that my friend walt mueller, of the center for parent/youth understanding, wrote a fantastic post on divided a week ago. honestly, it’s a much better post than the one you’ve just read, and i encourage you to read it.

(btw, the filmmakers make an attempt to address some of my arguments in the FAQ section of their site, but not adequately, in my opinion.)

back in the day, i used to post a full review in an individual blog post for every book i read. after rebooting my blog in the late fall of 2009, i changed that practice to posting 3 or 4 “mini reviews” at a time — one paragraph each.

but in 2011, i’ve gotten behind, and haven’t posted any reviews. i kept meaning to, but just didn’t get around to it. so, i’m catching up. and i’ve decided to do it in a different way, since i have 27 to post.

introducing: TWO SENTENCE BOOK REVIEWS

for each review, i only allowed myself two sentences. in each, the first sentence is a summary of the book, and the second sentence is my opinion of the book. i’m still giving 1 – 5 stars (5 means “excellent”, 4 means “worth reading”, 3 means “ah, take it or leave it”, 2 means “take a pass on this one”, and 1 means “do NOT buy or read this book – it sucked, imho).

up first was 7 young adult fiction books.
here, in part 2, i’m covering memoirs and graphic novels:

Memoir

I’m Not High: (But I’ve Got a Lot of Crazy Stories about Life as a Goat Boy, a Dad, and a Spiritual Warrior), by Jim Breuer
2 stars
Jim Breuer of SNL semi-fame pretends to have insight while sharing his life story. Barely funny, self-inflated blah that regularly left me muttering, “Who cares?”

A Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man: A Memoir, by Bill Clegg
5 stars
A rising star as a New York literary agent, Bill Clegg narrates – in real time – his slow and crushing plunge into crack cocaine addiction. Painful and honest, brutally written (in a good way), poignant and cautionary.

Bossypants, by Tina Fey
5 stars
America’s sweetheart tells her story. Drop-dead hilarious while maintaining humility; no wonder everyone loves her.

Graphic Novels

The Walking Dead, Compendium One and volumes 9 – 14, by Robert Kirkman and Tony Moore
4 stars
The focus isn’t the zombies, but the internal changes of the small cast of characters who are trying to survive. Awesome art and an interesting angle, even if it’s a tad over-the-top at times.
(Note: I’ve since watched the 1st season of the TV series built on this comic series, and it’s fantastic.)

Mr. Wonderful: A Love Story, by Daniel Clowes
4 stars
Insecure, self-loathing middle-aged loser guy seeks love and companionship. A little hard to justify the expense for the length, but a lovely little story.

Black Hole, by Charles Burns
1 star
1970s teenagers live with a parallel-universe version of STDs that turns them into mutants. Verging on soft porn at times, with weak characters and a lame plot.

——-

up next: leadership and theology/christian living

i preached this last weekend at my church. each year, we do a “god at the movies” series, which is wildly loved. the point of the series isn’t so much to recommend movies, or to preach against them (!). it’s more about looking for god-story threads as we find them all over our culture. this year the series was only four weeks long, and the first three sermons were all on blockbusters: the king’s speech, the social network, and inception. i had suggested a gorgeous little movie hardly anyone saw, called “get low“. so when i was asked to preach in the series, they asked if i would take that film. it’s an amazing movie, with robert duvall, sissy spacek, lucas black, and bill murray. really worth seeing.

i’d originally planned on preaching about redemption, since the movie is so strong on that theme. but as i thought about it, i started to realize that all great stories are, in one way or another, stories of redemption. another very strong theme in the movie is regret. so i went with that.

the audio is online. but, for legal reasons, the clips we used from the movie aren’t included. it’s really not the same without the clips; but you can still get the gist of it. you can go to the download page here, or just click here to stream the mp3 directly. or, you can grab it in itunes here.

i’ll paste the high points of my outline here also:

The power/durability/resiliency of an idea – so take extreme care about which one you embrace.

What if the idea you embrace is that you’ve done something unforgiveable, or something you will regret for the rest of your life?

Living with regret can linger for decades – even an entire lifetime – and destroy every aspect of your life.

The evil one would love for you to be shackled by regret. It is the direct opposite of what God desires for you: freedom.

Two unhelpful extremes:
Narcissism/no remorse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Debilitating regret
|—————————————————————————————————-|

A better metaphor for facing regret: dealing with the TSA
You have to go through it, and it’s not going to be pleasant. You’d love to avoid it, but you can’t, or you won’t get on the plane. And if you make a bigger deal out of it than it is, you only make matters worse for yourself.

Three essentials to living without regret:

1. Dive into grace

Hebrews 10:15-18 — The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says: “This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.” Then he adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.” And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.

2. Clean up your mess

a. Clarify the regret and grieve it

b. Ask forgiveness; Make amends when appropriate

“Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” – Zaccheus, in Luke 19:8b

c. Accept the consequences as a learning opportunity

Proverbs 24:16 — for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again, but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes.

d. Process your take-away

2 Corinthians 7:8 – 11 — Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done.

e. Move on

Philippians 3:13-14 — Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

3. Start planting trees (live ruthlessly to prevent regret)

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second-best time is today. (Chinese proverb)

Proverbs 10:9 — Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.

saw this on mike king‘s blog, and clicked over to watch it on colbert nation. so good! sure, it’s funny and all; but truth of it is inescapable.

i got to see an early screening of narnia: voyage of the dawn treader, a few weeks ago in nashville. and i really liked it. the little dude who plays eustace scrubb is an amazing piece of casting. he is so comedically annoying, it’s uncanny. there are some great effects (my favorite is the early scene where lucy and edmund, along with eustace, enter narnia through a painting).

but more than the effects or casting, or even the storyline, i loved the themes. i’ve had many people tell me voyage of the dawn treader is their favorite of the narnia books; and i can see why. strong themes of greed and redemption permeate the film. i got seriously choked up at a couple points, and laughed out loud at others.

there’s a scene where lucy is facing her greatest temptation (as they all do), which has to do with her desire to be as beautiful as she perceives her older sister to be. it’s such a powerful scene — i want every pre-teen and teenage girl to see that scene.

the only bummer, in my opinion, was the de-dragoning scene where aslan helps eustace the dragon return to eustace the boy. that section of the book is classic in its portrayal of the painful process of transformation. but it all happens too easily and too quickly in the film. a little magical shimmering, and it’s over. the point is still made, but i wanted more.

there are some great (free) resources for pastors, youth pastors, and other church leaders on the narnia faith website. i’d encourage you to check them out.

but, mostly, i encourage you to see the film during this opening weekend. opening weekend is everything in hollywood; and i’d love to see this film do well, so we can have more like it!

here’s a cool thing to get to announce: fox and my friends at grace hill media are making a whole bunch of screenings of the next narnia movie (voyage of the dawn treader) available for FREE, for pastors and youth pastors. screenings are all over the country this week and next.

you have to have an email address that matches the url of your church (like, marko@churchofwhyismarko.org and www.churchofwhyismarko.org), in order to sign up.

i’m going to the screening in nashville, next thursday night (nov 18). anyone who’s gonna be in town for the nywc want to join me? c’mon — we’ll party like it’s whatever-year-it-is-in-narnia!

click on the image below, or on this link, to sign up!

donald miller has stirred my imagination and shifted my thinking and encouraged my heart with his writing and speaking. and he’s just a darn swell guy also, from what i’ve experience when he’s been at ys events in the past.

i’d love to see don’s book, blue like jazz, in movie form.

but there’s another factor here: steve taylor. steve is somehow both the quirky christian music icon i listened to non-stop in the mid-80s, as well as the music label exec who had the very best bands in christendom in the 90s, and also a dude who i came to consider a friend (thanks to a few mutual friends).

steve has been working on a movie version of don’s ‘blue like jazz’ for four years (don wrote about the screenwriting process in his last — absolutely brilliant — book, a million miles in a thousand years). i even had a chance to read an early draft of the screenplay.

but now, a major funder of the movie pulled out just before they were ready to start shooting. steve shut the whole thing down. but, apparently, fans of don’s book, and fans of steve’s work, wouldn’t let it go away that easily. people started a little campaign to raise the funds needed; and it’s looking reasonably likely that the funds are truly going to come in.

so… if don’s book(s) had an impact on you…
or if you think steve taylor is cool…
or if you want to support this kind of culture creation by christians…
or if you just want to be able to say “i helped fund that movie” when “blue like jazz, the movie” comes out…

then click here to learn more, and give. i did.

Millennials’ Judgments About Recent Trends Not So Different
report on new pew research

a tease:

As might be expected, members of the Millennial generation are enthusiastic about the technological and communication advances of the past decade. They are also highly accepting of societal changes such as the greater availability of green products and more racial and ethnic diversity. What may be less expected is that, in many cases, they are not much different from the age groups that precede them. And on at least one issue — the advent of reality TV shows — their views differ not at all from those of the oldest Americans.

(ht to bob carlton, via email)

——

interesting commentary on christians influencing hollywood
i have zero interest in the “christian film industry”. however, i’m very intrigued by stories of faith leaking into hollywood. this commentary is particularly about the success of the blindside, and came out prior to the book of eli. but i find it especially interesting in light of the fact that many of the mixed or negative review i’ve seen of eli (some reviewers loved it, but certainly not all) had to do with the movie being “too christian” (ironic, since no one connected to it, other than denzel, would consider themselves overtly christian).

——

one in eight million
wow, beautiful first-person storytelling and black-and-white photography of new yorkers. i could listen to these stories for hours.
(ht to kevin o’brien, via email)

——

david crowder and mike hogan’s amazing book, everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die, has been re-written, revised, re-edited, and re-released by a new publisher. i’m happy to say i had a tiny hand in helping this fantastic book see the light of day again. if you haven’t read it, now’s the time. (my review of the old version)

——

really thoughtful post by josh griffin about the correlation between a relational approach to youth ministry and student participation.

——

been meaning to post about this for awhile, and this will have to do: eugene cho has started a very cool “organization” (really, more of a movement) called one day’s wages, as a practical, achievable global poverty initiative. really worth checking out.

——

as a reader who loved chap clark’s book, hurt, tony jones’ book, postmodern youth ministry, and christian smith’s book, soul searching, i have struggled to understand how they might fit together, when they sometimes seem to have messages that are at odds with each other. tony jones has an interesting post about this, and suggests a bell-curve approach to their compatibility.

——

a fascinating study on teenagers and sleep, showing a correlation between lack of sleep and depression. important reading for youth workers and parents.

a snippet:

Results show that adolescents with parental set bedtimes of midnight or later were 24 percent more likely to suffer from depression (odds ratio = 1.24) and 20 percent more likely to have suicidal ideation (OR=1.20) than adolescents with parental set bedtimes of 10 p.m. or earlier. This association was appreciably attenuated by self-reported sleep duration and the perception of getting enough sleep. Adolescents who reported that they usually sleep for five or fewer hours per night were 71 percent more likely to suffer from depression (OR=1.71) and 48 percent more likely to think about committing suicide (OR=1.48) than those who reported getting eight hours of nightly sleep. Participants who reported that they “usually get enough sleep” were significantly less likely to suffer from depression (OR=0.35) and suicidal ideation (OR=0.71).

——

interesting commentary (on time magazine’s website, no less!) on whether or not the hit tv show “glee” has anti-christian themes. i’m not sure that one hypocritical christian character makes a whole show “anti-christian” – but it’s interesting reading nonetheless.

(ht to ypulse)

wicked awesome.

(re-discovered this on russ cantu’s blog)

sunday morning, i did a short radio interview with doug pagitt about “the book of eli”. he didn’t like it, i loved it. we both talk about why we responded the way we did.

check it out here (i think it’s about 20 minutes into this section of doug’s show, and is 10 minutes long).

doug’s show broadcasts live online, and on am950 in minneapolis, on sunday mornings from 10am – noon. all the shows are available online as podcasts after broadcast. doug refers to his show as “religious radio that’s not quite right”.