***********

1. Tried to chaperone 22 boys (including one with a physical disability) by myself at a five day residential camp after all my other male chaperones cancelled out at the last minute.
2. Went on many float trips and pool outings with large groups of teens before I learned to swim at age 40.
3. Left a seventh grader at a mall and didn’t realize he was missing till we got back to church. His mom (and also a youth Sunday School teacher) still gives me a bad time about it.
4. Made an impassioned speech about not being late for a 4 AM departure the night before leaving on a mission trip. Guess who forgot to set their alarm and was late?
5. At 57, still doing youth ministry and reaching teens for Christ.
(from jerry)

marko rating: 1 – 4 = stupid; 5 = awesome

***********

1) Raced vans on the beaches of Texas during a mission trip – it was myself vs and elder of the church (who was also a dad of 2 of the students) – we got the vans up to 65 miles an hour on the beach with 10 students in each van.
2) Made it rain 900 gumballs on kids at a movie night featuring the movie “Bedtime Stories” – a few got hurt.
3) Filled the executive pastors office with 144 beach balls after a beach ball game at youth group.
4) Played noodle tag in the sanctuary (Presbyterian Church)
5) Credit to this next one goes to the students… They played a game of “Buck-Buck” in the terninal of the Houston Airport. they drew a big crowd.
(from john)

marko rating: 1 = stupid; 2 = crazy and a little stupid; 3 = crazy; 4 = crazy; 5 = crazy

***********

While at a Sr. High retreat, some of the boys (with my husband, the youth pastor) went to the White Castle across the street. This was after our curfew to be in the rooms. They purchased 2 Crave Cases (30 in each crave case) – between 4 of them. They ate a lot of them but couldn’t finish. So they just left them in the cases. In the morning they got up, heated them up with the blow dryer and ate them………….the smell in their room, on the bus and at our sessions was unexplainable! Of course you have to understand what White Castle is to appreciate this story!! (from shelly)

marko rating = crazy, but awesome. loves me some white castles, baby.

***********

Led a group of jr-highers into the woods close to a spring in Florida on a campout. Wanted to get them where it was nearly complete silence and near total darkness for a devotional experience. Led them on a boardwalk with no rails. No one fell. But why stupid? I didn’t check if it was legal or not, and there are gators galore. The park ranger heard us, yelled at our entire group from across the spring, and sent us back to the camp site with a good tongue lashing. Another ranger: “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but with the gators around here, I don’t want you to end up demonstrating the ‘Jonah and the whale’ story!” Dumb. (from james)

marko rating: i’m with you, james — stupid.

***********

I had just gotten a new car (Subaru Outback) with a roof rack. We are driving on a back mountain trail when one of the kids asked to ride on the roof. I thought it would be fun, after all they had something to hold on to. So I had kids on the roof while driving between a giant dropoff and a large rock wall, narrow paths and trees. Of course, we had to have more fun so the one on the roof got to deal with windshield washer coming their way. Fortunately the worst that happened was I got a flat tire, and a dent in the back of my roof. Thankfully, I had some parents full of grace who very gently and sternly told me to never ever do it again. (from tim)

marko rating: stupid is as stupid does.

***********

We’ve laughed for years about the time I led a group of teens into the ostrich pen at the farm of a family that was hosting us on our missions trip in Duluth, MN. The first time we went into the pen it freaked us all out and we ran out screaming like a bunch of girls…so naturally we decided to do it again. Only this time, the student right in front of me locked the door behnd himself on the way out, trapping me and one other boy in the barn with this 10 foot bird. The ostrich cornered us and started hissing and pecking on our heads, so I, being taller, held his neck back. The students outside the pen wanted a picture of our plight, so they opened the door… I saw a way out, so I ditched the student and ran for the door. I made it, but the ostrich stepped in front of the boy blocking his path, then raised his wings and started beating the student. He shoved the bird back, which thoroughly hacked off the ostrich who then kicked him in the shin and put a huge gash in his leg. The next thing we knew the student busted the door down running out of the barn. Our hosts about flipped out and told us they only go in there with these Roman Style plexiglass shields and these 10 foot poles to keep these birds at bay. For years after that I carried an osrtich beanie baby with me in my back pack to remind me that I am in charge, and as such, should be a better decision maker and leader…but it sure is fun to laugh about it now! (from joe)

marko rating: ok, this one gets both a ‘crazy’ AND a ‘stupid’. going into the ostrich pen in the first place = crazy. everything after that = stupid. fantastic story, though!

today, those two guys are now 33 year-old men, planting a church in iowa city, iowa.

i’ve followed their stories on an off over the years, thanks to facebook and a few mutual friends. i ran into jeff at a youth worker event about 5 years ago. both guys were youth workers for a while (among other ministry roles). but they felt called to start this church in iowa city that is especially targeted at connecting with the 40,000 students of the university of iowa.

i was in iowa city last weekend for a speaking gig, and had a chance to reconnect with mark and jeff. man, there is just about nothing better for the heart and ongoing calling of a youth worker who’s been around the track a few times to see now-adult former students with a significant faith. i thought i’d have youth ministry fuel for at least a year merely based on the comment mark made as we said goodbye, “hey, thanks for building into us, man.”

but then, i saw this — mark’s blog post from the other day:

This summer is the 20 year anniversary of when I first “got it.”

You see, I was a Christian butthead. I grew up in church, prayed “the prayer” every night (“God if you didn’t hear me last night, I really don’t want to go to hell. I invite you into my life once again as my personal Savior.”), but I had a problem. I was an angry, violent, insecure skate punk.

My mom, along with Sally Kuphal (my friend’s mom), conspired to get Joe and me on a mission trip to Mexico. They brokered a deal with Marko, the junior high pastor, that we would both go if we could be together the entire 10 days of the trip. And so it happened, we went kicking, but not screaming, because we figured, “Ehh, it can’t be that lame if we can be together. We should be able to endure this uncool group for a week.”

It was the first time I prayed out loud in a group (other than my family), saw poverty, got caught up in corporate worship, felt “called” to something bigger than skating, made friends other than Joe… (One of them I’m currently planting a church with. Cosmic accident?)

I look back on that summer as one of the top ten defining moments of my life.

But somewhere in the middle- between a 13 year old spoiled American skate punk and a loving and good God- was a junior high pastor who believed that 13 year olds are worth it.

Nineteen years later, as divine providence would have it, Jeff Thune and I got a Facebook message from our old junior high pastor, “Hey, I’m in Iowa City doing some training for youth pastors. I heard you guys are here! Let’s hang out.” Of course, 20 years later he’s going stronger than ever, loving teenagers (he still has a small group at his church) and training youth workers (he travels the world, speaking, writing, and mentoring).

From 13 year old punk to 33 year old church planter. That’s me. I have a trail of people to thank along the way.

Thanks, Marko, for believing that teenagers can change the world. Bless you, my friend.

i read this to a youth ministry friend who is also “seasoned” and she started crying, even though she’s never met mark and jeff. this is it — this is why we do this thing. this is why. thanks, god; this is why.

i was thinking of this “crazy thing” list because i need to do a crazy thing this fall. some of you are going to laugh at me, or consider this super-lame. so be it.

here’s the story: as someone who travels quite a bit, my preferred flyer status with united airlines really makes my life easier. call me george clooney if want, but special security lines, early boarding, bonus miles (for family travel!), and free upgrades make regular air travel more livable. recently, i added up the miles i’m gonna get from my remaining trips this year, and i’m going to be one east coast trip (or a couple shorter trips) short of holding onto my frequent flier status this year.

so i’m offering a special deal: i’ll come speak for your event, or to your youth group, or your volunteer team, or preach in your church, or provide a day or two of consulting, at a 50% discount (plus travel costs). i don’t have a bunch of weekends available (a mid-week thing is very possible, btw) — here’s what’s left:
sept 10 – 12
october 22 – 24
october 30/31 (but i can’t fly on friday the 29th, so that weekend is a little limited)
dec 10 – 12 and 17 – 19

if you’re interested in this one-time “marko sale”, shoot me an email at mark.oestreicher@gmail.com, or email my booking dude, tim grable, at tim@thegrablegroup.com.

UPDATE: well, i got the miles thing worked out! YFC of northern ireland is bringing me in for a 2-day ‘youth ministry 3.0′ event in belfast. yup, that’s sure enough miles.

now, for the list of crazy things. please, add your own in a comment!

5 of the craziest things I’ve done in youth ministry
1. Sent 60 junior highers and leaders home on a 24-hour drive while I stayed a full week with an impounded truck in Mexico.
2. Had about 25 middle school boys in my home hot tub at one time.
3. Tried to keep a summer camp going when about 100 of 120 campers were throwing up and experiencing diarrhea.
4. Rented Universal Studios after hours for a private youth group event (and spent the first 25% of our time arguing with the manager to let us in after a kid lit off a firecracker while we were gathering at the gate).
5. Played sardines (reverse hide-and-seek) in the church sanctuary at a church where the sanctuary was a sacred cow.

when i was making the “crazy things” list, i kept coming up with things that weren’t really crazy, but were just stupid. so i made a second list…

as a bonus, 5 of the stupidest things I’ve done in youth ministry
1. Left a 7th grade girl at a McDonald’s in an extremely tough neighborhood in Chicago at 11pm, and didn’t realize it until she was pounding on the door of the building we were staying in, a mile from the McDonald’s.
2. Used a “hot seat” (which delivered a horrible electric shock) on a retreat as a way for junior highers to get points for their team via scripture recitation.
3. Allowed another youth pastor, when our two groups were partnering on a winter retreat, to do a crowdbreaker that was so gross I knew it was going to get me in trouble. It did.
4. Left a couple hundred junior highers in their hotel rooms on an overnight event with only one intern at the hotel while I took the rest of the adults out to In-N-Out Burger.
5. Accelerated a full van of students pulling a trailer toward a freeway barricade as a joke, not thinking about how hard it would be to stop with all that weight. We stopped, but my heart almost did also.

i want to hear your “crazy” or “stupid” youth ministry moments. add ‘em as a comment, and whether you see it as crazy or stupid.

No matter their background, Dean says committed Christian teens share four traits: They have a personal story about God they can share, a deep connection to a faith community, a sense of purpose and a sense of hope about their future.

**notice she doesn’t say “…and a fun youth group!” but, i would like to think that those four key qualities could be foci of our youth ministries.

THIS JUST IN: kenda’s response to the article with an important clarification on one point.

AND NOW, THIS JUST IN: kenda responds with more, this time about the title of the book and the title of the article.

for those who don’t recognize the name: epstein has been a fly in the ointment of adolescent sound-bite propogandists for the last few years. particularly in light of the “new brain research” on adolescents, revealing a host of implications, epstein has consistently been the lone voice crying out as the antagonist: no, you’re drawing wrong conclusions from the adolescent brain scans. you’re assuming causality when there is no indication of causality.

epstein put his exhaustive study (and strong opinions) into a book released as the case against adolescence, then re-released a few years later (just recently) as teen 2.0. i’ve blogged about it a couple times here already, but most recently here (mini book review here).

when our group got back to our meeting place after our time with epstein (and a lunch stop that had a side-by-side in-n-out burger and chick-fil-a; possibly the 7th level of heaven when it comes to fast food — yes, a few of us ate at both), we debriefed our time, and created a list of the things that stuck out to each of us the most, or the things that would have implications for our thinking and practice of both youth ministry and parenting. here’s that list, in short-hand. in the days and weeks to come, i’m planning on writing posts about some of these, expanding and reflecting…

– our culture is awash in negative messages about youth. when we hear them enough, we believe them; but they’re not true, and are often driven by pr from drug companies who benefit from these views of adolescents. be hyper-aware of those messages; look for them. and be highly skeptical of what you hear. understand that they are a prejudice (comparisons to 1800s thinking about women and blacks, based on wrong assumptions about their brains).

– parenting needs to shift from a position of “control” to one of “facilitation”. facilitation = look for and encourage competencies. this has enormous implications for youth ministry.

– there are very few age restrictions in the OT, none in the NT. we need churches to return to a biblical concept of adolescence.

– what can we do? create “local culture” (micro-culture) in your home or youth ministry. repeat often that what teens experience ‘out there’ is not right, it’s broken. help teens understand that they do not have to live like the system says they have to live. (this fits in so nicely with the ideas i wrote about in youth ministry 3.0)

– “repetition is the mother of wisdom”

then, a few years ago, i spoke at most of the believe events for a season, and got to know it more intimately. johnny and his team continue to improve the event every year; i’m always impressed by his insatiable desire to improve (and i don’t mean “to make it flashier”; but, rather, to make it more and more effective in what an event like this can provide for young teens and middle school ministries).

so i’m stoked to join the team of speakers this year (an amazing team that includes some of my best friends in middle school ministry: scott rubin, kurt johnston, and heather flies), even if for only one city (atlanta). believe is coming to 11 cities in 2011, and i’d highly encourage you to check it out. they just released their promo materials in a pdf version, which you can check out here. the website for next year’s event will go live later this month, so watch for that.

and, yes, that is a bobble-head of me. they had them made of all the speakers. too funny!

a new web portal launched this week for church leaders, appropriately called churchleaders.com. the have some original content and some aggregated content, as well as lots of other stuff. i like that they have the home page that includes a variety of content, but sections divided into specific content for pastors, worship, youth (ministry), children (‘s ministry), small groups, and outreach.

i’d been asked to be part of the advisory team (or something like that) for the youth ministry section, and agreed to that. and, they asked me and a handful of other youth ministry bloggers if they could aggregate some of our blog posts. here’s what i like about how this website is aggregating content, though:

let’s be honest — not every blog post by every blogger is worth reading. some are, some aren’t. i chuckle when i look at some aggregators that include every post from a handful of bloggers. if i wanted to read every post by them, i’d add them to my reader. a good aggregator should be selective, imho. so, the youth ministry section of churchleaders.com has blog posts from me, adam mclane, josh griffin, and many more; but only those posts that are specifically about youth ministry and would have interest or application to a wider audience. that’s helpful.

anyhow, i encourage you to check it out. a friend of mine is in the final throws of becoming the “channel editor” for the youth ministry section, and i expect the quality and depth of the content will increase when that happens.

smith’s study, if you haven’t heard of it, found that the vast majority of teenagers in america subscribe to a faith he calls ‘moralistic therapeutic deism’. and, as tony jones writes in his endorsement of kenda’s book, “a lot of youth workers have been a bit depressed since the national study of youth and religion revealed what we’d long suspected about american teen spirituality.”

that’s why, early in the book, i found these few sentences very encouraging, while still clarifying the challenge:

we have known for some time that youth groups do important things for teenagers, providing moral formation, learned competencies, and social and organizational ties. but they seem less effective as catalysts for consequential faith, which is far more likely to take root in the rich relational soil of families, congregations, and mentor relationship where young people can see what faithful lives look like, and encounter the people who love them enacting a larger story of divine care and hope.