i have a chapter for a book i’m supposed to be writing. it’s 3000 words, and due june 15. and i don’t have any idea what to say. in addition, i’m a bit burned out on writing from my two-month blitz through writing two books that ended less than a month ago. while this list is more for fiction writers, a friend sent it to me, and it totally cracked me up (i’ve edited it a tiny bit for ysmarko blog appropriate-ness). from the wonderful list of lists on mcsweeney’s.com…

THIRTEEN WRITING PROMPTS
BY DAN WIENCEK
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1. Write a scene showing a man and a woman arguing over the man’s friendship with a former girlfriend. Do not mention the girlfriend, the man, the woman, or the argument.

2. Write a short scene set at a lake, with trees and stuff. Throw some birds in there, too.

3. Choose your favorite historical figure and imagine if he/she had been led to greatness by the promptings of an invisible imp living behind his or her right ear. Write a story from the point of view of this creature. Where did it come from? What are its goals? Use research to make your story as accurate as possible.

4. Write a story that ends with the following sentence: Debra brushed the sand from her blouse, took a last, wistful look at the now putrefying horse, and stepped into the hot-air balloon.

5. A wasp called the tarantula hawk reproduces by paralyzing tarantulas and laying its eggs into their bodies. When the larvae hatch, they devour the still living spider from the inside out. Isn’t that messed up? Write a short story about how messed up that is.

6. Imagine if your favorite character from 19th-century fiction had been born without thumbs. Then write a short story about them winning the lottery.

7. Write a story that begins with a man throwing handfuls of $100 bills from a speeding car, and ends with a young girl spitting into a tin bucket.

8. A husband and wife are meeting in a restaurant to finalize the terms of their impending divorce. Write the scene from the point of view of a busboy cleaning the restroom.

9. Think of the most important secret your best friend has ever entrusted you with. Write a story in which you reveal it to everyone. Write it again from the point of view of your friend. Does she want to kill you? How does she imagine doing it? Would she use a gun, or something crueler and more savage, like a baseball bat with nails in it?

10. Popular music is often a good source of writing inspiration. Rewrite Bob Dylan’s “Visions of Johanna” as a play.

11. Write a short scene in which one character reduces another to uncontrollable sobs without touching him or speaking.

12. Your main character finds a box of scorched human hair. Whose is it? How did it get there?

13. A man has a terrifying dream in which he is being sawn in half. He wakes to find himself in the Indian Ocean, naked and clinging to a door; a hotel keycard is clenched in his teeth. Write what happens next.