errors in communication between my hairdresser and me in the form of what i said and what he heard
by jez burrows
said: just a little off the length, adn a little thinned out.
heard: could you make me look like a clown’s apprentice?
said: a little shorter, thanks.
heard: i want the style that would emerge if you combined all three of charlie’s angels.
said: just the usual — little shorter and thinner.
heard: you know when you have a bubble bath and you shape the bubbles all around your head? i want it like that.
said: if you could take some of the width off, that’d be great.
heard: if you could make it hard for me to appear in public, that’d be great.
said: of course it isn’t okay — you’ve disfigured me beyond repair. i look like a mushroom.
heard: that’s perfect. take my money.