i was at the health club last night, doing stretches before meeting with the sadist, and experienced a… well… awkward moment.
i was sitting on the stretching mats, doing these little things to work out the knots in my leg muscles. there were only three of us there at the moment. on one side of me: a middle-aged sprite of a woman, all tone and muscle, not an ounce of fat on her freakish little body. on the other side of me: a young 20-something workout hottie, preening and posing as much as anything else. there was a bunch of room on the mats, as other people had just left, but the three of us were all bunched together in the middle.
suddenly, i was engulfed by a massive, rancid fart. not my own, mind you. it was one of those eye-burners. i’d been breathing with my mouth open, but quickly closed it. everyone stopped for a moment. and i realized: whichever one of these women DIDN’T do that surely thinks it was me, the fat guy in the middle. i wanted to shout out, “Hey, it wasn’t me!” but i decided to let ms. smelly keep some dignity, and kept quiet, falling on the fart-blame sword.
i had a similar experience with a dental hygienist a couple years ago, btw. that was even more awkward, since it was only the two of us.