middle school bans intentional farting

no, really. i’m serious. i am not making this up.

a middle school in maine has officially banned farting. well, at least what they call “intentional farting”. well, that’s not quite it either: they call it “intentional flatulence,” of course.

here’s the full article. but here’s the juicy (sorry) part:

“Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS,” the newsletter said. “It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!”

and these couple little sentences are SO classically middle school:

“They would do it in science class and other places,” said Jordan Tyler. “It’s a natural occurrence, and we all do it 16 times a day.”

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn’t remember where they heard it.

perfect. he states that they (or we) all fart 16 times a day. then he reveals his source is that other students said it was true. love it.

11 thoughts on “middle school bans intentional farting”

  1. So now you can no longr smoke or fart in the school restrooms.

    Oh to be a fly on the wall as the principal explains to the teaching faculty how this rule will be implemented and what to look out for. “An hour after lunch, I expect all of you to be especially alert to these tendencies…”

    The teachers must be thinking, “and for this I went to grad school to be certified…?”

  2. Marko, you were worried about your posts not being substance? I think not! This is YM gold! I am going to bring it to my middle school ministry board for them to enact also.

  3. referring to the above link – listen right around 2 min. and the language of “saved…” and the power of being welcomed and known, especially for young girls.

  4. ummm… the article is pretty explicit about farts NOT being actually banned from the school. it was the student-run newspaper that said that intentional farting is a suspension-worthy offense. but it’s not a new rule.

    however, if it IS a disruption (which, you know, usually it IS), then it could lead to disciplinary action.

    i don’t think that the school staff is overreacting in this case.

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