my disorders

not to, in ANY way, dismiss the very real disorders many people experience and suffer with every day, but…

now that road-rage has been labled a disorder, i think i can self-diagnose many of my own yet-to-be-named disorders:

    it’s not my fault that i’m occasionally passive-aggressive. i have PAD.

    you can’t hold me accountable for being saracastic and cynical, because i’m pretty sure i have SACD.

    it’s not fair to judge me for taking things personally and responding harshly. i’m sure i have TTPARHD.

    don’t look down on me for trying to control other people’s emotions. there’s nothing i can do about it, due to my TTCOPED.

    yes, it would be nice, wouldn’t it, if i didn’t expend all my energy at work and then come home and be a lazy loaf. but, really, i can’t help it: i have EAMEAW/LLAHD.

    one would think i could be less selfish. one would think the holy spirit could bring about that change in my life. but one would be wrong, because i have CSD (it’s chronic, hence the “C”).

    oh, and i’ve tried to actually pay attention to people when they’re talking to me, and not look at my computer screen, or over their shoulder, or at the game on my cell phone; but i’m pretty sure i can chalk that up to my DRCAPTMD (aka: don’t really care about people that much disorder).

    finally, some might wrongly say i’m occasionally insecure, or care too much what people think of me. but, really, it’s just my PLMD (commonly known as “please love me disorder”).

i’m sure, one day soon, i’ll be heavily medicated, vindicated in all my actions, and a wonderful person to be around at all times.

One thought on “my disorders”

  1. You know how when someone says, “Im not a racist, but…” its the easiest way to spot a racist. Well, when you say you dont want to dismiss real disorders, and then you go on to make fun, well….it smells kinda the same.

    Its not that it wasnt funny though, if that helps :-)

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