so, the night before i shared about “the world in 10 years” at the youth ministry exec council, this past wednesday, i was sitting in my tiny room at the retreat center, trying to think up what to say. and i have to say, for all the brilliance in that room of 40 people, it’s a tad bit stuffy and a tiny bit formal. for instance, it was only 40 people, but we used a microphone when speaking. anyhow, my combination of rabble-rouser and the nervousness of wondering what i could say, combined with insecurity of “what if they don’t like me?” lead my tired brain to think it might be FUN to start with some humor. you know, difuse the whole thing a bit. uh-huh. sounded great at midnight. i was thinking of the fact that the weekly world news (an absurd supermarket rag, for those not from the states) could provide me some leverage. they’re always running articles about how nostromdamus predicted a whole new list of things. so i wrote a list of predictions from nostrodamus about youth ministry in 20 years.
well, i thought the predictions i wrote were dang funny. rather insider-ish (if you don’t know the mucky-mucks of american conservative youth ministry, these wouldn’t mean a thing), i’ll admit.
i was so freakin’ intimidated by the whole thing when i finally got up to speak, i was literally shaking with nerves. i had to put my free hand in my pocket to keep it from shaking. and i received what could best be described as the laughter equivilient of a golf-clap. polite. like saying, “well, that’s a baby!” when you don’t know what to say to the mother of an ugly kid.
anyhow – they were all good sports, and i’m sure will be good sports as i post the list:
YS and YFC will have merged, but their primary goal will be selling 3-story magnetic car ribbons.
greg steir will be the junior senator from colorado.
richard ross and monty hipp will team up again to launch a new campaign: true love doesn’t wait long when you’re 80.
there will be a 20-foot bronze statue of alan weed on music row in nashville.
chuck klein and barry st. clair will both be monarchs of 3rd world countries.
mike king will have last been spotted living naked in a cave in france.
and, last but not least:
national network of youth ministries will finally be made a government agency by president jenna bush.