birthday cake

Open Letter to a 14 year-old girl

the just-about-to-turn-14 year-old daughter of a friend of mine was in the audience at a large youth retreat i spoke at recently. she and i met very briefly. and i was super encouraged when my friend told me that the weekend had a big impact on her and she spoke quite a bit about what i’d shared. but then he asked if i would write her a letter, as part of a collection of letters he was pulling together for her 14th birthday. i have to say that i haven’t written many letters to 14 year-old girls i don’t know; and that’s probably a practice i should continue! but, for what it’s worth, here’s what i wrote to her!

Bekah,

Yeah, it’s a little weird to get a letter from some old bearded dude in California who you don’t really know but only heard speak at a camp with 1000 other teenagers. Creepy, even. Except that, you know, the creepy old bearded camp speaker dude happens to be friends with your dad. So, hopefully, that lowers the creepiness factor.

3 words of advice/encouragement to you:

Risk. You were not made for a boring and safe and mundane, punch the clock and eat dinner in front of reality TV, find a vice and stick with it, become who others expect you to be life. Nope. You were made (really – God’s dream for you) for an adventurous life in the active and present Kingdom of God. But that requires a bit of risk on our parts. Try things. Get uncomfortable. Explore. All the while: listening to God and paying attention to his direction.

Exercise Curiosity. Healthy people are curious and constantly asking “Why”? The best leaders are always wondering and noodling and dreaming and probing and seeking. The best friends (and maybe the best enemies, really—those who are good for sharpening us) are those who are curious about the motive behind behaviors. I believe that developing curiosity will serve you in life more than just about any other skill set or practice; and I’m pretty sure we make God smile when we put curiosity into practice.

Breathe. Relax and slow down. Don’t give in to the pressure to live your life at 1,000 miles per hour, constantly rushing to the next thing. Don’t measure your value by how much you can get done, or by how many plates you can keep spinning. Don’t bow to the idol of productivity. Instead: rest in the knowledge of God’s perfect and unchangeable love for you and acceptance of you. Soak in the experience of a peace that can only come from healthy relationships with God, self, others, and all of creation.

May a big ol’ heapin’ helping of God’s blessings be on your head, Bekah!

Marko sig

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