phobias of the modern teen: a mcsweeney’s list

i haven’t posted a mcsweeney’s list in a long time. but this one caught my eye!

PHOBIAS OF THE MODERN TEEN

BY JILL BRONFMAN

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Intextophobia: the fear that you just sent a text to the wrong person.

Entextophobia: the fear that you may send a private text to everyone you know.

Zonotophobia: the fear that you cannot text because the wireless is down.

Juvenophobia: the fear that you will be the last of your friends who is allowed to text.

Mytextophobia: the fear that everyone will move on just as you figure out how to text.

Thumophobia: the fear that you will lose the ability to text in a freak kitchen accident.

Czechophobia: the fear that your text will be spell-checked so as to be unintelligible.

Fopahophobia: the fear that your text will be spell-checked with an embarrassing word substitution.

Bebacophobia: the fear that your text partner will never return from the restroom.

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