yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve had one of these.
someone’s going to get ticked at this one, i’m guessing. just know that i’m not suggesting that jesus didn’t walk on water! there. geez (us).
but, really, i’m all a-twitter (in the old meaning of that word) with anticipation for what weirdness and wonder you’ll come up with. need a prize to prompt ya? fine. how about a copy of morgan schmidt’s MUST READ new book, Woo: Awakening Teenagers’ Desire to Follow in the Way of Jesus. it officially released this week. here’s what kenda dean said about it:
Morgan Schmidt is a snappy and relatable writer. But above all, she is a prophet blessed with a winsome honesty that sneaks up on you as you’re planning your umpteenth mission trip and whispers: “Recalculate.” For Schmidt, being human boils down to desire; and youth ministry that’s honest is about desire too—the desires of youth for God, the desire of God for them. With Woo, Morgan Schmidt joins a new class of practical theologians taking aim at the false gods driving the youth ministry industry, and she restores our focus—and our hope—on young people’s God-given desire to become, belong to, and worship as the body of Christ. Woo completely won me over.
so there. youth worker, if you ever asked yourself WWKD? the answer is clear: she would read this book.
winner gits one.
ok — whatcha got for this beauty, sent to me by an old friend and former middle school ministry volunteer, dr. matt carlson? (click on this bad boy for a much larger image.)
CONTENDERS
Jesus clearly brings out a large quantity of comments, both here and on facebook. here’s the best of the best, from my admittedly subjective and skewed perspective:
Othy
…and this was the scene in which you could tell that the producers spared no expense for the special effects in the “Son of God” movie.
Dave Wollan
Oh you of little hands
Cash
“During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
That was when I made you carry me
So that I could walk on water
And you could learn your lesson.”
David Hanson
Ancient “Chicken Fighting.”
Dan Jones
Miracle Whipped.
Josh Jones
The lesser known, 13th disciple – Aquaman
Lauren Christian
“Oops. Wrong lake.”
Jason Buchan
the disciples practicing their human video for their next outreach in Galilee.
Klint Bitter
“Jesus, dude, two words: under. Wear.”
and the winner is…
i have to admit, i was hoping for a good Son of God movie line. so i’m givin’ it to Othy, for “…and this was the scene in which you could tell that the producers spared no expense for the special effects in the “Son of God” movie.”
congrats, Othy — a copy of Woo is coming your way!
Peter finally finds a way to stay above the water…’hold your breath Paul’.
“Even when you walk on water there will always be someone complaining that you can’t swim.”
Adds new meaning to the phrase: “Lending a helping hand.”
“Welp… sometimes you just gotta YOLO it, guys.”
…and this was the scene in which you could tell that the producers spared no expense for the special effects in the “Son of God” movie.
“I stood on the palms of giants…”
I swear. That fish was “this” big.
“‘Follow me’ he says, ‘It’ll be fun’ he says! ‘You’ll be my hands and feet’ he says!” – James, younger brother of Jesus.
Yeah! Jesus made it clear: “Nothing can’t stop me!”
In the early years of the Winter Olympics… Finding a frozen pond proved to be difficult.
Look, Ma! No Hands!
Oh you of little hands
And that, my friends, is how you baptize someone.
“During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
That was when I made you carry me
So that I could walk on water
And you could learn your lesson.”
An anthropological relativist’s view on Matthew 14:22-33. “Say Halakha cheese!”
Ancient “Chicken Fighting.”
Jesus: “Whose next?!”
We can photoshop out the hands guys. Don’t worry about it.
“Only two more miracles until sainthood, what do you say we get some false bottom baskets and feed the masses?”
Miracle Whipped.
Jesus reveals the secret behind Chris Angel’s famous trick… hmm i wonder how He figured it out.
proving you always need a woman around to help you out, the lady of the lake has got Jesus’ back.. errr, feet..
“Okay, who moved the boat?”
Behind every good man is a great woman holding him up.
Now this is how Jesus baptizes…
What? Full submersion just wasn’t enough for this guy.
blub blub… Don’t worry… I’ve got it this!
‘Follow me’
Before couples ice skating
‘I simply ask that you follow me’
*SPOILER ALERT* The twist in “Son of God” is that Jesus is actually a Muppet
“Hey guys, where’d Peter go?”
Will you please Be Still and know that I am God down there…
Synchronized swimming at the Galilean Olympics
If you are anxious for Superman vs. Batman, wait until you see Aquaman vs. Jesus!
Peter’s passion to be first once again gets him to play the supporting role.
Oh , this ice is cold !!
Oceans remix: “You hold me out upon the waters…”
Oh, I get it! The hands AND feet of Jesus!
He’s got the whole world in his hands.
Sure I can walk on water, but it have something even greater to show you…I found things long lost twin, thang! Snap snap!
CONTEST CLOSED
see winner at bottom of post