save the ipod, or, i’m such a dork

talk about embarrassing. i was at the health club tuesday evening, getting ready to meet ‘the sadist’ (my trainer). i did my required stretches, and was on the treadmill doing my three minute warm-up (all of which he wants me to do prior to my hour of pain with him). but i thought i’d get a head-start on the pain.

about two minutes into a quick run, jamming to some music (which i have forgotten), my hand caught on the headphone cord and dragged my ipod off of its little shelf atop the treadmill. it dropped down between my pumping legs, disconnecting from the headphones. i panicked. all i could think, as i saw my ipod zipping backward on the treadmill about to be thrust into the aisle behind me (which had people waiting for the treadmills) was, “my ipod is going to get stepped on!”

stupid. stupid. stupid.

knees.jpgbut what i did next was the most stupid. i should have hit pause or stop, or stepped on the sides of the treadmill that don’t move. instead, i turned to the side and bent down to try to grab the ipod — while the treadmill was still moving at 5 miles per hour. in a split second, i was thrown down to my knees (see evidence in photo, which is, yes, upside down because of the way i took the picture!). i wasn’t on my knees long, as the still “running” treadmill threw me off the end, adding additional, though smaller, wounds on my lower shins, before propelling me out to a sprawling position in the aisle. everyone on the two dozen treadmills turned to see if i was ok. all the people on the stairmasters behind me gawked. a few of the people waiting in the aisle rushed up to see if i was alive.

i jumped up, feeling like an extreme dork, and assured everyone i was ok. then i walked over to meet the sadist (who laughed and said, “i wish i had seen that! it would have been hilarious!”). after an hour of punishment, i ran on the same treadmill for twenty minutes, just to prove it hadn’t vanquished me. but, boy howdy, are my knees stiff and sore!

ah, the scars of the super-buff athletic lifestyle. the ipod, btw, is without blemish.

34 thoughts on “save the ipod, or, i’m such a dork”

  1. Marko,
    I have fell off the treadmill before as well. I skinned my wrists and knees before I got up. It was rough and people still remember it. It happened at my house, ouch. I used a lot of burn care stuff.

  2. I did the same thing when I was with a gym, although I had no iPod to cast blame upon. It might have been a female, I can’t remember.

  3. If it makes you feel better, I have a similar story – running on the treadmill while chatting with a friend. We were at the Y on the 30 something floor of a building, solid glass walls, and I was flung into the glass wall. I remember thinking “Oh gosh I hope this is thick glass” and picturing myself flailing through the air into the streets of downtown Nashville.

    Silvadine cream for the knees and shorts! Got strawberries like those during my days playing fast pitch softball. Wear the scars with pride and laugh about it!!!

  4. Im so sorry to tell you this, but I actually laughed outloud with no one around as I read that little ditty! I’m sorry your knees are in pain, I really am.

  5. (second thought response) Alright! You even have battle scars from dieting. Not many can say that.

    (first response)ahahahaha, oops, sorry I had to laugh. If it happened to me I would expect laughs too.

  6. I feel your pain. My kids (10, 12 and 14) occasionally use the treadmill on rainy days, etc. My son did the worst treadmill fall possible when he was 12. We used to have the treadmill sort of in the corner of the room, facing out toward the room (so you can see the TV). So the belt is sending you back toward nothing but wall (you can see where this is going…) My son bites it hard on the treadmill which shoots him back to the wall… then he has to start running on his hands and knees while he’s down (because he’s trapped- no where to go)… finally he launched himself to the side.

    Let’s just say… his knees looked a lot worse than yours! (Yeah… go ahead and call CPS on us now for setting up such a torture chamber!) Poor guy. We were all laughing a few days later when he was doing an impersonation/recreation of what happened.

  7. Dude, Mark…
    I have done the same thing countless times! I’ll be running and all of a sudden the cord gets in the way of my Karate chop running arm and my ipod is sailing across the gym floor. Thank God I have it in a plexi glass case because it would be toast by now!

    Keep going man!

    JT

  8. 1. Clip the iPod on the back off your running shorts.
    2. Run the earphone wire up the back of your shirt.
    3. Plug the earphones in your ears – from the back of your shirt.

    (second option – run through back of shirt and added step – run up through a hat and back down to ear hole).

    Good luck – not that I have EVER done anything like you did. :)

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  10. Did your life flash before your eyes??? Those treadmills can be pretty vicious… I’ve had some close calls with the treadmill myself! Have fun with the sadist! :)

  11. I would have gone for the iPod as well. Thanks for sharing – I needed that smile! Blessings to you on future workouts. Uh, maybe stay off the treadmill? Peace!

  12. This is really just incredible the number of treadmill stories. Wow. And to think, this morning I ran on the road…

    Screw this…I’m going back to a sedentary lifestyle…MUCH SAFER! My lazy-boy has never throw me off of it! It welcomes me with comfort, open arms, and invites me to kick my legs up! My TIVO says…Hey, Let me do the work for you!

    This may be making some sort of case that longevity of life can be assured by being inactive.

  13. I did that once. Well, not the falling part, but the knocking the iPod down while on the treadmill part. So what I started doing was wrapping the headphone cord around the handle bar so that I would just knock the earbuds out of my ears instead of knocking my iPod down. Just a little helpful tip.

  14. too funny…i’m glad you were OK so I don’t feel so bad laughing out loud… i can visualize this being done!

    Donna :-D

  15. Anyone that sacrifices his body like that for his iPod should be Apple’s next spokesperson!

  16. Those treadmills are vicious! However, recently while running out with my group of runners, one of our folk wasn’t paying attention, got their iPod cord caught on the side mirror of a car, tried to grab it while still running, fell over backward, and hit their elbow on the street, breaking it! So feel good that all you had to show for this was skinned knees!

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  18. It has a weight holding capacity of 250 lbs, collectively with a short warrant of ninety days.
    If the treadmill carries a center post in between its walking path, dogs aree really uncomfortable with that.

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