superuseless superpowers

superuseless superpowers is a blog by an anonymous artist who creates little cartoon drawings of, well, just what the title says. some funny stuff (which, i’m sure some of you youth workers could find a use for, btw — would be fun fodder for a talk on god’s power, or the power of the holy spirit to transform our lives).

a few that caught my attention…

superpunch
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Healing Punch
Float like a butterfly and sting like the bedside manner of Mother Teresa. As a superhero, sometimes you have to resort to violence. Too bad your ferocious fists instantly heal the damage you inflict. Whereas most punches would deliver a crushing Ivan Drago-like knockout. Yours leave your opponent feeling amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated. At least until he counters with an uppercut to your esophagus.

superbullet
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Eventual Kevlar Skin.
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Boink.

superinflight
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: In-flight flight.
Being able to soar through the air still won’t save you from recycled oxygen and endless stories from complete strangers. Known as the “Cabin Sparrow,” this so-called power lets you fly, but only within the confines of an airplane. At least you can leapfrog the beverage cart when explosive diarrhea strikes at 30,000 feet.

superteleport
SUPERUSELESS SUPERPOWER: Ultra Short-Range Teleportation.
This unamazing power lets you teleport up to one inch away. When done in rapid succession, it gives that old-timey stop action feel. It can also really push your “popping & locking” routine to the next level.

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