Tag Archives: dieting

the bikini car wash weight loss challenge

so, after losing a very large quantity of weight a few years back in the ‘are you a bigger loser than marko?’ contest run by ys, i have inched up and down on the weight loss trajectory. but if averaged out, it’s been a 3 year-long slow climb. and i’m super-big again.

time to shed some.

i’d had this growing desire to do something, but — apparently — not the willingness. the scales finally tipped (ha!), and i’m charging forward. my wife and i are doing this together, which helps a lot. but, ultimately, my accountability comes from my friend john, with whom i have launched ‘the bikini car wash weight loss challenge.’ bottom line, john and i are competing to see who can lose more weight from our starting weigh-in (which was sunday, october 31 — halloween), ending on our scheduled final weigh-in, thursday evening, december 16. i’ll see at that point whether or not i’m going to pick it up again after the holidays.

i’m using the fantastic isagenix cleanse again (super-healthy, and great at helping the pounds come off; if you want a hook-up, let me know), as well as a treadmill. with more than two weeks down so far, i’ve already lost about 17 pounds.

when john and i were thinking of a prize for winning, i suggested the loser has to buy dinner at this particular steak joint i really dig. but john felt that was lame motivation (and he was probably right). his suggestion?

whoever loses has to wash the other guy’s car wearing nothing but a bikini.

at first i resisted, suggesting we maybe limit it to short-shorts, or a speedo. but the more i thought about it, the more i felt the strength of the accountability is in it’s extremism. so, bikini it is.

a friend of mine, who i will not reveal — because of his fear of getting in trouble for googling images of women in bikinis for this purpose while on the church computer — came up with a few lovely photoshopped pics of what my contest loss might look like. i’ll post 2 of ’em here – the other one isn’t fit for posting (these barely are).

Diet & Fitness Books of the Bible, a mcsweeney’s list

Diet & Fitness Books of the Bible.


– – – –

Cross Training

Pontius Pilates

Low-Impact Ecclesiastes


Psweatin’ to the Psalms

The All-You-Can-Eat Loaves-and-Fishes Diet

The AbsSolution

Power Walking on Water

Good Fat, Bad Fat, Jehoshaphat

The Flat Belly of the Whale Diet

Fit for Life Everlasting

Pillar-of-Salt-Free Cooking

YOU on a Diet of Worms

Take and Eat This, Not That

The Resurrection Regimen: Three Days to a Transmogrified You