thanks to alert reader debby brown, for her last minute pointing out of this super-fun inauguration speech generator. it’s almost like a mad lib: plug in adjectives and adverbs and a few other things, and… voila — an inauguration speech!
here’s the one jeannie, liesl and max provided the words for:
My fellow Americans, today is a insane day. You have shown the world that “hope” is not just another word for “hamburger”, and that “change” is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually jump.
Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces smelly and obtuse challenges like never before. Our economy is fuzzy. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for pickles. Our healthcare system is peaceful. If your armpit is sick and you don’t have insurance, you might as well call a pickle-packer. And America’s image overseas is tarnished like a lamp scissors. But pooing together we can right this ship, and set a course for La Mesa.
Finally, I must thank my light family, my screechy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Abraham Lincoln for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of frowning the American people. Without your shnazzy efforts, none of this would have been possible.