Tag Archives: jesus junk

jesus junk of the month award: christsicles

back in the day, i used to post a “jesus junk of the month award” fairly regularly on this blog. but somewhere along the line, i stopped coming across the worst offenders, or i stopped looking, or stopped caring. and this one doesn’t officially qualify, since it’s not a product for sale and wasn’t intended as one might assume: as an “evangelistic tool.” it’s actually an art piece:
here’s the real story. but, i still gotta think there are plenty of people out there who would see this and think, “just think of the impact on our neighborhood’s children!” so, on their behalf, i give these christsicle sticks an honorary jesus junk of the month award!

jesus junk of the month award

this one is just fantastic, as jesus junk goes! you’ll have to click on the pic and see the full size to read all the text. but, basically, it’s a a little spongey jesus that you drop in water, and it grows “up to 600% its size.”

best is the name of the product: grow jesus because he is awesome! (yes, that’s really it.)

(ht to rob craig, via email, who said he bought the last two of these in stock)

jesus junk of the month award

this is world class jesus junk, baby. not only is it a product that really has nothing to do with jesus, and is only being marketed that way in order to generate sales, they go they extra-impressive mile of making crazy claims about its spiritual qualities! i’m not sure whether to be disgusted, or to give the creators a hearty chuckle and a manly, energy-drink-infused slap on the back!

1 in 3 trinity energy drink

“a special blend handed down from the flourishing vines and trees of the holy land…”

“fused with ‘the fruit of the spirit'”

(ht to bill reichart)

jesus junk of the month award

it’s been a while since i’ve awarded the jjotm award. i doubt it’s been due to a shortage of jesus junk. more likely, it’s just been off my radar. but, today, i must resurrect (ha!) the award, thanks to my friend and coworker, ian, who sent me a link to this beauty:

the talking jesus doll

it look a bit like a gag; but i think it’s real. surely, anything with “authentic linen robes” must be real, right? glad to know that linen is authentic, ’cause i can’t even imagine giving my child a freaky little talking jesus doll with the voice of a bad actor and an INauthentic linen robe. surely, an INauthentic linen robe would destroy the budding faith of my child. in fact, it would likely lead my child to draw the kind of (il)logical conclusions so prevalent these days: if the linen is inauthentic, then the entire faith system must be inauthentic!.

make sure you watch the little video, btw. it’s precious.