new school year, and my middle school guys’ small group has resumed! this year, they’re 8th graders. and this year, we split into two groups (each group still has 7 or 8 guys). so i might miss out on 50% of the amazing things said, since they’ll be said in the other group!

but here’s what i got so far:

8th grade guy: my low this week? well… guys… I’m pregnant.

whatever logic may have existed that was a guiding force in the following conversational bit was completely lost on me!
8th grade guy: marko, you weren’t here last week, and we named our group the swag muffins.
another 8th grade guy: But we wrote it in legit Chinese
third 8th grade guy: Kim Jon Il. I mean Kim Jon Un.
me: He’s Korean, not Chinese
third 8th grade guy: Yeah, but he’s cute

this was the first time in my life that i’ve ever uttered the following phrase.
me: oh, my gosh, please put your nipple away!

me: What does it mean to be consistent at something?
8th grade boy: Jesus

8th grade guy: you’re lucky you have a brother closer to your age. Mine is like a man.
another 8th grade guy: my sister’s like a man.

8th grade guy (with a comment that had NOTHING to do with what we were talking about!): I wonder if you fart when they jump start your heart
another 8th grade guy: you void your bowels
third 8th grade guy: what if you died on the toilet?
back to the 2nd guy: that’s what Elvis did.

me: What’s worldly wisdom?
8th grade guy: It’s like common sayings and things people believe, like “don’t trust people with big noses”

8th grade guy: My high this week was that I got taken out of school to go surfing today because the surf was so good
another 8th grade guy, incredulously: What kind of family do you have?
first 8th grade guy, quietly: A surfing family