Tag Archives: stuff christians like

good cop, bad cop youth leaders

very funny post on “good cop and bad cop youth leaders” on jon acuff’s stuff christians like blog. with his permission, i’ll post it in its intirety here:

#531. Good cop, bad cop youth group leaders.
Barry threw rocks at me.

When I walked to the dining hall in just my robe like I was some sort of 9th grade Hugh Hefner during a youth group retreat, my leader Barry through rocks at my feet until I went back to the cabin and changed.

Barry was a bad cop youth leader.

Patty swore we could fit more people in the back of the pick up truck.

When we tried to see how many people we could cram in on the way home from youth group and yelled, “Go faster! Find speed bumps and see if we can get airborne like in the movie ‘Thrasin!,” my youth leader Patty yelled at her husband, “You heard the kids, let’s go faster!”

Patty was a good copy youth leader.

Inspired by the age old police interrogation tactic (one officer becomes your best friend, the other cop is hardnosed and in your face) the good cop/bad cop youth leader routine is a church classic. But how do you know which type of youth leader you’re dealing with? How do you know which type of youth leader you might be?

I suggest you use the Stuff Christians Like Bad Cop/Good Cop Analyserator

1. A group of youth group members are caught red handed about to pull a prank during a retreat.
A. You confiscate all their prank materials, put them in separate sleeping areas and call their parents in the middle of the night to let them know that their kids suck.
B. You tell them that what they’ve planned is a good start but they’re going to need a lot more shaving cream to get the full effect they’re going for.

2. While on a fall hayride through a scenic apple orchard, some of the students start throwing rotten apples at each other.
A. You unleash a righteous lecture on all the apple throwers that covers Eve in the garden, the insult it is to God to use His creation the apple for sport, and how there are teens in other countries that don’t have apples to eat, never mind throw.
B. You use you’re heightened adult strength and advanced wisdom to throw the apples harder and more on target than any of the students.

3. A student forgets to bring a signed parental waiver for the day at the water park.
A. You tell the student to “kick rocks” and leave them in the parking lot as you drive away to the water park without them.
B. You tell the student “We just throw those wavers into a cardboard box under the secretaries desk. Promise me you won’t sue the church and get in the van.”

4. You hear rumors that some students are sneaking out of camp at night to go to McDonald’s because the camp food is questionable.
A. You search the garbage for evidence of wrappers and use a ultra violet blue light you saw on the show CSI to search for greasy finger prints.
B. You immediately confront the teens you think are involved and place an order for a Big Mac.

5. Despite your best efforts to break down the cliques, a “cool bus” forms as you get ready to leave for a retreat.
A. You create a complicated algorithm that measures coolness and spread the cool kids out mathematically among the three vans your church has.
B. You start bringing big bags of candy in hopes that you will become the “Official Cool Van Driver.”

6. At the lock in, someone is found playing loud, non Church approved hip hop.
A. You confiscate the iPod until after the lock in is over and make the teens learn a “danceudrama” to a Carmen song.
B. You ask “Is that the new Akon? That is my jam!” and then proceed to do the worm.

7. You’re asked to give your testimony at youth group one night.
A. You treat the opportunity like one of those “scared straight” shows where they bring teenagers to jail and at least 3 people end up crying.
B. You tell your story and make references to as many teen cultural items as google could find you, at one point remarking, “I guess you could say my life was like that show ‘Gossip Girl.”

If you answered A for most of the questions, congratulations, you’re a bad cop. I hope you’re the youth leader my daughters have when they grow up.

If you answered B for most of the questions, you’re a good cop and are probably very familiar with the phrase, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.”

The best youth leaders I had growing up were a hybrid of both. Able to be an adult and keep things moving in the right direction but not afraid to laugh and admit how fun a life spent with God can be.

How did you score? Were you straight A’s or straight B’s or somewhere in between? Did you have good cop or bad cop youth leaders?

What’s your favorite bad cop or good cop youth leader story?

stuff christians say: my favorite book is the bible

every year at our junior high pastors summit, we share book recommendations. it’s usually a diverse and intriguing list, reflective of the variety of the group. but those of us who were around the very first year, about 8 or so years ago, will always remember they one attendee who could give no other answer than “the bible.”

i was reminded of this when i saw this hilarious post recently on the stuff christians like blog, about christians who insist on saying that the bible is their favorite book, and who turn the whole question into a spiritual contest. read the whole post here. but here’s the imaginary dialogue:

1. What are your two favorite books?
“The Old Testament and the New Testament.”

2. Right, but what about other books?
“CS Lewis.” (Regardless of if you have ever read any, just name drop Lewis. Works like a charm.)

3. OK, how about fiction?
“Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings. This Present Darkness is pretty good too.”

4. What about favorite movie?
“That’s a tie between the Passion of the Christ, Facing the Giants and Braveheart. The TBS edited version of course.”

5. What would you take with you on a desert island?
“The Bible and CS Lewis.”

6. He’s dead though.
“Not on this island he isn’t.”

7. Fine, then what three people living or dead would you go out to dinner with? And don’t say Jesus, you’re going to spend eternity with him, surely you can go get baby back ribs with someone else.
“That’s a tough one. How about Moses, Paul and Zack Morris.”

8. Zack Morris isn’t real. That’s just a character played by Mark Paul-Gosselaar on the show Saved by the Bell.
“Why does that matter? In this dinner scenario you’re bringing Moses and Paul back to life, why can’t Zack Morris come? And not “College Years,” Zack Morris, I’m talking about when he was at Bayside High. That Zack.”

9. That’s absurd. This whole quiz has broken down. I’m not even sure where it’s going.
“Good, then I win.

10. Win, win what?
“The Bible.”

stereotypical camp counselors

ooh, before the summer is completely over, and need to point to this hilarious post on stuff christians like about the 7 kinds of christian camp counselors found at every camp. funny, funny stuff.

click through for the descriptions, but the categories are:

1. The Joe Cool
Aliases:
That guy that all the girls love.
Natural Enemy:
Sir No Showers a Lot

2. The Disciple
Aliases:
Prayer Warrior, Holy Roller, Hardcore for Heaven
Natural Enemy:
The Pastor’s Kid

3. Sir No Showers a Lot
Aliases:
Stinky, Smelly, Dude bathe already
Natural Enemy:
Soap

4. The Nicest Person that Ever Lived
Aliases:
Sunshine
Natural Enemy:
That’s not very nice of you to ask.

5. The Reformed Rebel
Aliases:
The legend
Natural Enemy:
The Narc

6. The Narc
Aliases:
Phariswat Team, Fun Police
Natural Enemy:
Everyone, particularly people “making purple.”

7. The Rebel
Aliases:
The bad seed, the “how did that guy get to be a counselor” guy
Natural Enemy:
Whoever finds the contraband he hid in a shallow hole by the ropes course.

any more you creative, youth working, ysmarko readers would like to add?

christian tat contest

i forgot to mention earlier that i was a judge in a christian tattoo contest, hosted firmly tongue-in-cheek by the ever-snarky stuff christian like blog (read the post today about ‘in church massages‘ — it’s hilarious). SCL sent me and the other judges a few dozens contestant shots, and we were to pick our top 10. to be honest, i only liked two of them at all. i selected another 6 or 7 anyhow, but the only two i dug were this super-faint (due to the ink color) “mercy” inked on the inside wrist of a former cutter:

and this sweet old school styled tat of a lamb:

SCL has posted the finalists in three sets. the judges role was to pick the finalists, but now it’s up to the readers (very american idol influenced, that SCL):

set 1

set 2

set 3

only two days left to vote. he’s closing the contest monday, i think.