i am a broken person. in many ways. ask anyone who knows me.
for years, my broken friend and boss, mike yaconelli, challenged me that i liked travel and speaking too much, for some good, and some not-so-good, reasons. i resisted his challenge. but he could see this because he had the same sickness.
i think at some deep subconscious level (i think, i’m not sure, or it wouldn’t be subconscious, right?) that when i’m sitting on a plane, or telling you all about my busy travel schedule, or whatever, i must feel important. i think it must make me feel good about myself. i think it informs my identity, in ways that aren’t healthy.
and my travel has been simply out of control in the past year, and especially the past few months.
so, back in september or october, jeannie suggested i consider taking a sabbatical from speaking engagements. i thought it was a really stupid idea. “i need them,” i told her. “ys needs me to be ‘out there with youth workers and kids,” i told myself. “we need the extra money,” i told both of us. thin, lame, flimsy excuses. lies, really. in early november i knew she was right, and pushed the button. but, of course, i had a full calendar of stuff. so, the 1 year speaking sabbatical, we agreed, would begin may 1.
and, may 1 is almost here.
so, this morning, i’m flying to indianapolis, and driving to anderson, indiana, to speak at a “junior high believe” event, one last time. it’s my last non-ys speaking gig for a full year (well, that’s not 100% accurate — i have two events in the next 12 months jeannie and i chose not to cancel, for family reasons). i’ll still have loads of travel for ys: trips to grand rapids, conventions, CORE, spanish events in guatemala and argentina. but this feels like a milestone weekend for me — i good one, a healthy one.