in the spirit of a post a while back about the top ten frustrations of living in a thomas kinkade custom house, here are my top ten frustrations about living in the aforementioned christian subdivision:
10. constant presence of rainbow steals the wonder from your kids’ souls.
9. burning rage develops at the sheer quantity of fish on cars.
8. the idiots who live on ark street all stupidly think they have to have two pets.
7. mystery casseroles at hoa parties.
6. fines for not smiling.
5. fear of a michael moore documentary.
4. inability to identify the obviously rebellious teenager who keeps nailing stuffed animals on the cross in the park (though it’s probably that darn goth kid).
3. community movie nights are always “left behind” movie, with never-ending encouragement to “bring your unsaved friends!”.
2. no salt allowed.
and #1: nagging sense that this might just be hell.