“what’s wrong with america”

“because the editors of the NIV pee sitting down.”

really, he says that.

have you seen this clip of a sermon? sure, it’s a bit rough — but, come on, we’re adults here.

(ht to lots of fine and wonderful and helpful readers!)

36 thoughts on ““what’s wrong with america””

  1. Marko,

    I now know how I’m going to fill some time this afternoon on our 30 hour famine. I’m taking the guys outside to piss on the wall! Who knew, that was all it took to be a man?

    Thanks

  2. “You better know I’m gonna stand up wherever I go.” Wow. I’m at a complete loss …

    On a side note, I love his thing about the numbers, and then referring to chapters and verses … like that’s how they were written by the original writers, with some sort of special secret intention, and not actually added centuries later … lol

  3. i’m crying. i’m not sure if it’s because i am laughing that hard or because the message touched me that deeply but i know that i am presently crying. i think i need to go to the bathroom now.

  4. umm… but doesn’t it say that God will destroy the ones who pee standing up?

    I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  5. What distracted me the most about that whole thing is the whole number thing. I believe the bible is true, but the numbering system did not come from the original writers, it came from publishers. So to make reference to Gen 5:5 and Acts 5:5 just seemed a little off.

  6. isn’t it sad when all of the emergent guys get picked on left and right and guys like this preach gibberish and get no criticism?

  7. Are we sure this isn’t a joke? (I hope!). Could be tongue in cheek. By the way, I worked with a guy who told me he taught his son to pee sitting down, so he didn’t make a mess. I had never heard of anyone doing that, but I guess there’s biblical warrant for it!

  8. Ran across this a few days ago while looking aat worship video. At first I thought it was joke too but it’s not. He has about 30 “sermons” up and they are all like that. Scary…..

  9. I’m amazed and laughing like crazy. My two year old is already peeing on the wall, he must have received some special blessing to become a man at such a young age.

  10. i just like to imagine what that guys notes said. “1. emphasize that men pee standing up…even on walls” “2. that’s it, just ramble for the remainder of the sermon. 3. don’t say piss, ehh…go ahead and say it if they are really jiving with ya”

  11. So I always wondered why pastors go off about a verse in the Bible that does not even make sense about anything else they are preaching about. This is a classic example.

  12. I’m confused, and disoriented. After seeing this, everytime I urinate I experience anxiety disorder. Should I sit or should I stand? Will I loose my sensitive side if I stand? What will my father think of me if he finds out? I’m afraid to face my friends. Do they know? I skipped Sunday school yesterday and binged on iced tea. I feel so dirty, ashamed and abandoned. Can anyone help me?

  13. All 6 references talk about how everyone who pees standing up is going to die. Sitting down seems like a pretty good idea – at least I get to live!

  14. so i thought it might be a joke, but then i checked out his church website. if it is a joke, it is the most elaborate joke in the history of punking, complete with a family blog, a church blog and two years worth of sermons. i really wish it had just been a joke.

  15. The comment about “you haven’t liked the sermon until now anyway” makes me wonder what he said that we didn’t see.
    Hey, and to all of you who wonder if this is a joke, you are blessedly (and I mean that) ignorant (and that is a good thing).

  16. man, never thought i would be convicted about sitting down to go pee in the morning

    “piss against the wall like a man”

    …amazing!

  17. Thanks, Marko. Of course, I would prefer it to have been a joke on purpose instead of an accidental joke. Anyone who has listened to a KJV-only argument, though, knows that wisdom and logic are not a part of that arsenal.

  18. did anyone else notice there were at least two pianos in his immediate vicinity?

    ps. thanks marko. and to all you men, we women dont care, as long as you put the seat down…

  19. amazing how people seem to think the KJV is the only legit translation of scripture. you know i am sure if you translate the original hebrew in context the phrase used means “male”…

    Unbelievable…basically he is saying, based on contextual interpretation he is going to continue to be like Jeroboam and pee standing up and be killed by God for a failure to be like His servant David who followed God with his whole heart. I had to look up the passage he was referring too (1 Kings 14:1-20) and read the whole thing. In verse 9 the prophet says that Jeroboam has done more evil than anyone before him and he pees standing up…

    so, if this guy likes being called a man because he pees standing up AND wants to compare himself to Jeroboam that’s kind of a good thing since God destroys all these people. I kind of like that version…

    I wonder how many women where in the audience with ugly looks thinking about all the times their husbands had missed and they sat in it…ugh…

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