a mashup: jesus junk of the month award meets photo in need of a caption

i couldn’t decide whether to make this beautiful (can you hear my tongue pounding the inside of my cheek?), handmade (it appears) jesus chair a jesus junk of the month recipient, or a photo in need of a caption contest. so, in the spirit of all other things mashed these days, i’ve decided to combine the two.

only one new rule to the caption contest: nothing dirty. c’mon, it’s jesus (or a facsimile thereof). play nice.

jesus chair.jpg

CONTENDERS

Amazingly, the Lord continued to play the invisible piano even after being squished by a giant invisible cube. (john)

Johnny, I already told you to stop talking during the Sunday School lesson. Now go sit in the creepy Jesus chair and think about your actions! (john)

Jesus perhaps a little too self-absorbed during 7th grade woodworking class. (lars rood)

Your beer can fits perfectly in the Lord’s hand. (andy jack)

…and when Goldilocks sat down in the Jesus chair it was just right… (rooster)

Jesus Carpentry Tip #118 – BE the chair. (luke)

“Holy Sit!” (brian aaby)

AND THE WINNER IS…

not as many top-shelf contenders this time, but a few really great ones!

i’m gonna go with john’s:
Johnny, I already told you to stop talking during the Sunday School lesson. Now go sit in the creepy Jesus chair and think about your actions!

john – shoot me an email with your book choice!

60 thoughts on “a mashup: jesus junk of the month award meets photo in need of a caption”

  1. Amazingly, the Lord continued to play the invisible piano even after being squished by a giant invisible cube.

  2. Johnny, I already told you to stop talking during the Sunday School lesson. Now go sit in the creepy Jesus chair and think about your actions!

  3. The Crystal Cathedral reveals it’s Grand Giver Thank You Gift for anyone who gives $1K or more to the Hour of Power during the month of March.

  4. i don’t see how i can top John’s comment about the invisible piano. 5 minutes later i’m still laughing.

  5. Let’s be honest: we all see Jesus as Santa anyway, right? Now –like Santa– you can actually sit on the Savior’s lap when you dictate to Him your wishlist.

  6. Jesus is seated at the right hand of the Father. OK class, take a random pair of those words and see what you can come up with.

    And on a different note who stole Jesus’ motorbike?

  7. As Mary’s portrait business took off, Joseph’s struggling carpentry business took on a new look.

  8. Worried about teenagers using the internet? Just use the Master Chair for your computer desk chair for only $316.

  9. Reading Luke’s caption, I had to laugh…

    “BE the chair.”

    Re-reading Lamb, and it reminded me of Joshua & Biff when Joshua tells him to BE the crap.

    Funny stuff.

  10. Imagine the Journey Song “Open Arms” playing in the back ground.

    This chair could rival the Travelocity gnome.

  11. No caption this time, but I do have a bunch of images floating in my mind. The weirdest is just imagining that chair as one of the props from Dr. Evil’s lair, where they drop people into the fire pit below.

    Truly not a comment, because that would be SUCH bad theology. It would need to swivel left and right to be good theology…. ;)

  12. Oh, and I just realized from Scott’s comment – does that mean that The Father is wearing a WWJD bracelet? Or rather, is that a ONE bracelet? (seated at the right hand of the Father….)

  13. “Come, all ye who are heavy-laden and… HEY! Get off me! Just because I’m shaped like a chair doesn’t mean you get to sit on me. I’m trying to teach here. Didn’t anybody ever tell you people about metaphor?”

    – Chair-Shaped Jesus in a candid moment with bible literalists

  14. I’ve got nothing to offer to the quality of captions here. (Love “invisible piano”, John.)

    But I started thinking about what it would be like to actually *sit* in this chair. Attempt to rest your arm, and all of a sudden you’re awkwardly holding Jesus’ hand. Attempt to lean back, and Jesus’ bony nose pokes you in the back of the head. Lean your head to the side, and suddenly Jesus is nosily looking over your shoulder.

    The only thing that could make the experience more awkward would be to cut a round hole in the middle of the seat.

  15. tour guide: “jesus was a carpenter…this is actually one of his first works. he called it – self portrait”

  16. Dressed in the finest of first century capris this Jesus chair is sure to be a hot item on the must have this Christmas.

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