Category Archives: humor

photo in need of a cpation

ah, let’s have some chuckles today. in the spirit of my insane quantity of travel this month, i thought this photo was worthy of the honor. and let’s see if you can do better than “adam drives marko to the airport.” since The Youth Cartel is giving away a free copy of our new devotional ADVENT free with any purchase through midnight friday, i’ll up the ante and give away a 3-pack (so you can use it with a couple students!) to the winner…

airport run


Jeff Smyth
New sidecar for Daisy the Chihuahua.

That’s what mom gets for asking her 35-year-old man-child to pick her up from the airport.

Jon McIver
If Adam says anything about me “flying Southwest next time” he’s gonna get slapped.
(marko comment: ooh, jon’s paying attention to cartel dynamics!)

Dale Puckett
“They see me rollin’…they hatin’…”

Marion Zoot McClure
Well we are off to fix the Obamacare website, wish us luck

Nathan Peterson
John and Pam really should have bought a car after they had their first baby.
(marko comment: omg!)

Trey McCarty
Just when I think you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and pull something like this….and totally redeem yourself!

Brandi Smith Manes
We gotta hurry over to Marko’s blog! I got a suitcase full of captions!
(marko comment: brandi brilliantly skewering my whining these last couple days as FB peeps didn’t follow the rules and click through to leave their comment on the blog!)

and the winner is…

tough call. but the one that made me laugh the most (maybe it was more of a GASP) was Nathan Peterson’s “John and Pam really should have bought a car after they had their first baby.” and i’m giving an honorable mention or second place (doesn’t really matter, since there’s not a prize for second place!) to Marion Zoot McClure’s “Well we are off to fix the Obamacare website, wish us luck.”

photo in need of a caption, tomato on a train edition

i could use a laugh today!

and while i’m sure this photo isn’t actually a youth ministry moment, we ALL know it could be!

best caption gets (ooh, ready for this??!?!) a digital copy of one of our three new books (releasing in a week or two):
Youth Ministry in a Post-Christian World
Redefining the Role of the Youth Worker

bring it!



great stuff this time. here are the ones that really tickled my fancy, so to speak:

Bob knew it was going to be a rough day, but he never thought he’d get canned.

J Gee
After the accident, Bob the Tomato’s ministry remains active

Wes Pardue
Do you want tomato on your sub?

Out of respect for privacy, the tomato turned his back because he noticed the salad dressing

Marty Estes
Michael Bay’s vision of Veggie Tales didn’t quite match up with the original.

Jonathan Hobbs
Timmy learned the hard way that the kids that told him about “dress up like a tomato day” were lying.

Rob September
When a starving vegan hallucinates…

and the winner is…

i’m goin’ with J Gee’s “After the accident, Bob the Tomato’s ministry remains active,” though i dropped the second sentence of his caption, since i thought it was funnier with only the first sentence! everyone raise a glass of tomato juice in honor of j gee!

photo in need of a caption

just saw this one and felled COMPELLED to turn it into a caption contest.

and, since The Youth Cartel has two new books out, i’ll award one or two of them to a winner or two (that would be The Picture Book Guide to Youth Ministry and The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide for Teenagers).

so, whatcha got?

jesus cheesy beefy glory


some funny stuff this time around! but here’s the best of the best, from the subject perspective of my funny bone:

Eli Ruggles
Welcome to ‘Merica!
(marko: it had to be on there in some form, of course)

Jon Robinson
…and there we have it, the summation of the scriptures.

Josh Mitchell
In an act of marketing desperation, McDonald’s employs the never failing “Jesus Juke”

David Gerhardt
Best communion elements ever!

ken macdonald
The Last Supper, The Message version

Rob McIlvoy
Southern Eveagelism

Mississippi Priority List (in order)
(marko: apologies to my MS friends)

Mia Peters
Once agin McDonalds tries to draw the Chick-Fil-A crowd.
(marko: wow, that’s subtle and funny!)

and the winner is…

this one was a little easier for me than some of these caption contests, as there were two that i thought totally won it (again, in terms of my humor preferences!)

the runner up: mia peters, with her creative and wonderfully snarky “Once agin McDonalds tries to draw the Chick-Fil-A crowd.” poking fun at two fast food chains and all of evangelicalism in one short caption. that’s worth a prize! mia — you win a digital version of The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide for Teenagers!

the winner:
ken macdonald (the last name almost fits!), for “The Last Supper, The Message version.” funny stuff, short and simple. ken, you win physical copies of both The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide for Teenagers AND The Picture Book Guide to Youth Ministry!

thanks for playing, everyone!

photo in need of a caption (mock marko edition)

recently, adam shot a video of me teaching a bit of junior high ministry stuff for a uthmin online conference jeremy lee and coach shef are putting on. and when i watch the rough video, i just crackeded up at the completely dorky expression on my face in the final shot (when the video stops at the end).

i thought it would be a great chance for you to mock me with captions. in fact, i don’t imagine i will pick a winner who isn’t poking fun at me in some way.

sure, there will be prizes (probably a copy of one of The Youth Cartel’s new books!).

so: i lay myself before thee, and taunt you with, “is that all you’ve got?”

marko zoning out


not as many entries this time, but a high average quality!

here are the ones that made me crack up the most:

Marko learns that Gillette want to be sponsors of the next Youth Cartel Summit.

nickole huffman
“Excuse me, Adam. My eyes are up HERE.”

Depends, I’m using them right now!

Brian Aaby
Staring contest begins in 3…2…1…

You are what you eat. I ate a sexy beast this morning. How about you?

releasing fart in 3…2…


but the one of those that literally made me snort, followed by a single sound that was either a laugh or a bark, was Jeramy’s “Depends, I’m using them right now!”

part of that is because the old SNL “Oops! I Crapped My Pants” commercial is a family favorite.

but either way, jeramy wins! let me know what TYC book ya want, j-man!


funny crowdbreaker

tongue twistermaybe you’ve heard this one before, but i hadn’t. i was in new zealand a couple weeks ago, and the emcees of a youth ministry event i was speaking at used this as a hilarious crowdbreaker in one of the sessions.

get about 5 or 8 teenagers up front

tell them they have to say a tongue-twister as fast as possible, five times, and that there will be a prize for the two or three who can say the whole thing without messing up at all.

the tongue-twister is: One smart fella and he felt smart

to say it five times, though, it becomes:

One smart fella and he felt smart
Two smart fellas and they felt smart
Three smart fellas and they felt smart
Four smart fellas and they felt smart
Five smart fellas and they felt smart

what inevitably happens is that many of them end up saying something like, “One fart smeller and… dang!”

when i saw this done, the entire crowd was cracking up. only one contestant got it right on the first try. so the other kept trying until there were three winners.

if you can get away with it, this would be pretty hilarious to do at a family event, using parents up front.

yup. wonderfully immature. and hilarious.

overheard at my 7th grade guys small group

IMG_3870i think this will be the last installment of “overheard at my 7th grade guys small group”! our group meets tonight for a final swim party, but then we take the summer off. hopefully i’ll be back with the new “overheard at my 8th grade guys small group” in the fall!

in the mean time, here’s some gems from a recent small group time:

7th grade guy: We didn’t have school today because the bathrooms aren’t working

7th grade guy: We need to have movie night!
another 7th grade guy, totally serious: Can we watch brokeback mountain?

7th grade guy: I learned to play the hardest song in the world on bass: you don’t know you’re beautiful by one direction.

first 7th grade guy: You had school testing on your birthday? That’s the worst birthday ever.
second 7th grade guy, mumbling to himself: I think dying of cancer on your birthday would be the worst birthday ever.

7th grade guy: My low was that I sharted in class yesterday.

7th grade guy: I’ll tell you how to make a great mustache. Step one: do you have a cork?

7th grade guy, after a bunch of them put their feet on the table: I had my feet on the table before it was cool.

7th grade guy: Denzel Washington, the best actor ever. So darn cool. So darn clever.

first 7th grade guy: He died of a flesh eating disease. I forget what it’s called.
second 7th grade guy: Necrophelia?

7th grade guy on why moms are awesome: she has to go through three minutes of agonizing pain to get you

7th grade guy: Have you ever noticed that the bears Elisha called out of the woods to maul the boys mauled 42 of them, and 42 is the answer to life, the universe and everything?

and remember: if you’re the kind of youth worker who actually likes middle schoolers, you need to join us at the 3rd annual middle school ministry campference!

ways to tell if the new student is an undercover cop (a mcsweeney’s list)

from mcsweeney’s lists:



He keeps talking about his Phonebook profile.

He wears jeans that are neither skinny nor sagging.

He is very excited about the relationship between Conway West and Kim Cardigan.

He claims to smoke the finest hashtag.

He asks a stranger to take his selfie.

He tries to buy an instagram of cocaine.

He watches TV shows when they actually air.

He arms himself with aerosol cans, and wonders where the Huffington Post is.

He texts ROFL when he’s “running out for lunch”.

He still has a Myspace page.

overheard at my 7th grade guys small group

IMG_4111oh, yeah. how ’bout some choice quotes (all word-for-word true) from my 7th grade guys small group?

7th grade guy: my house is sold and gone
other 7th grade guy: you mean, it’s gone gone?

7th grade guy: my high this week is that my mom is going to get me hot pink spray paint to paint my crutches

7th grade guy: in school we’re reading “hear my cry”
other 7th grade guy: isn’t that about the ax and the tree?
third 7th grade guy: dude, that’s johnny appleseed

7th grade guy: we got a new trailer, and the wheels are bigger than my dad’s truck
other 7th grade guy: wait, bigger than the entire truck?

7th grade guy: i’ve learned from experience that i can soothe women

this last one takes a little set-up explanation:
we started using my old “Wild Truth Bible Lessons: Picture of God” curriculum for the remaining weeks of this school year. i was leading the guys in a lesson on how “God is a Listener.” those lessons all have embedded in them the idea that, since this attribute is part of god’s character, and we’re made in the image of god, we should be able to develop that characteristic also. in this sense, we were talking about how the guys could be better listeners. i had them pair up, and instructed person “a” in each pair to describe a recent family vacation while person “b” listened. as i was describing this, i thought to myself, “shoot, some of these guys have had amazing vacations, and some have never left their homes.” so i added, “it doesn’t hvae to be your last vacation — it can be any vacation.” i thought, “that still doesn’t do it.” so i added, “really, it doesn’t even have to be a real vacation — you can describe an imaginary vacation if you want!”

yeah, adjusting on the fly.

when i said “go,” my co-leader and i surprised them by instantly making ridiculous amounts of noise and acting in distracting ways. and we only gave them about 30 seconds for the task; so some of them never got to any story at all, speaking or listening. they were merely disoriented and trying to adjust.

but when i asked if any of the listeners could recount the vacation story of their partner, i got this:
he went on the journey of the epic of birth. he came out in an explosion of slime, like on nickelodeon

photo in need of a caption

ok, i’ve been a good boy and posted a bunch of meatier blog content in the last two weeks. so it’s time for some frivolity.

with spring strongly present here in san diego, and my friends in other parts of the country still dealing with late spring snow storms, let’s go with this little fella.

best caption gets a download of The Youth Cartel resource of your choice!

standing cat


many others made me smile; but these are the official runners-up:

Eric A
Even now, as an adult with a family of his own, Morris still looks for his lost mittens…

Todd Tolson
The snow is always whiter on the other side…

e. sutter
The Cat replied:
“when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”

Andrew White
Having mastered standing on his hind legs mittens was now preparing to write his name in the snow for the very first time.

and the winner is…
tough call, but i like that todd didn’t even reference the stupid cat. so i’m calling Todd Tolson the winner, for “The snow is always whiter on the other side…”

Todd, you win a download of The Youth Cartel product of your choice! email me.