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The 70 Weirdest Nativities (the revised 2016 list!)

NOTE: this post is the 2016 list. for the 2017 list (now with 77!), click here.

This list started with a simple dozen weird nativities, several years ago. Each year the list has expanded; and in recent years that expansion has primarily come from people sending me nativities (this is awesome and annoying also, just like many of these nativities). Last year I had at least a hundred people send me that freaking Coke Can nativity.

This year, the viral nativity is the Hipster Nativity (it’s deep in the post, with the new additions for 2016). Funny thing is that even though it’s been sent to me by about 30 different people, I first saw it when its creators reached out to me, asking to be included in this year’s list! That was a first, and made publishing an updated list this year something of a non-negotiable.

I have one main rule for inclusion (other than that the nativity has to be weird or horrible or interesting or odd): I only include nativities that were made as nativities. (Otherwise this list would be three times longer!) I’ve even pulled a few classics off the list this year since they didn’t fit my rule.

So, here we go!

The Kitty Cat Nativity. Makes me want to cough up a hairball.

The Nativity Kitchen Timer (ding-ding! baby jesus is born!):

Yeah, the Cat Nativity is probably worse. But these Dogs ain’t much better…

This one is a craft kit, using marshmallows to make a S’mores Nativity. Yum.

This isn’t a whole nativity set, but there are other pieces available. This Mouse Drummer Boy is just about as confusing as a bit of kitschmas junk can get.

When searching for tasteless nativity sets online, it doesn’t take long for one to stumble onto multiple versions of bears…

This Rubber Duckie Nativity has to be right up there in the “worst” section of cheesy nativity sets…

Lotsa Santa nativity sets and pieces out there, but this one is a bit disorienting. Is the holy family IN Santa’s bag? Or does Santa have an nice appliqué of the Holy Family on his bag of gifts? And, what can the letters in Santa be re-arranged to spell?

If cats, dogs, and teddy bears weren’t enough, how ’bout penguins!?

Sure. Snowmen. Shouldn’t be a surprise.

Ah, the Veggie Nativity. I debated on this one, because my kids loved Veggie Tales back in the day. But the baby carrot pushed me over the edge into including it.

This nativity — well, i just don’t even know how to describe it. Clowns? modern art? The baby Jesus seriously looks like something out of a circus or a John Waters movie.

Oh, the animals. I suppose, while i think the Dog Nativity and Cat Nativity are somehow explainable as something people WAY too “into” those particular animals might display, this Chicken Nativity is just a bit beyond my comprehension as a purchasable — nay, displayable — holiday trinket.

You know those people who have those geese on their porch? Yeah, them. And they put a cute little goosey costume on their porch-goose to mark every season? Yeah, those people. This costume set is made for those people. Or, to clarify, for those who actually have TWO of those geese already. Sigh. I’m guessing the rubber ducky baby is “not supplied” (not to mention zoologically impossible).

What better expresses the spirit of the incarnation than owls? I found these in an online cavalcade of nativities, where the comment was: Whoooo is the Son of God? Whooooo?

Yes, I give you, the Naked Troll Doll nativity. Eesh. Feh.

The Irish Nativity, where the 3 Irish wise guys have clover, gold and Guinness:

The most viral nativity from a few years ago… the Meat Nativity (yes, bacon and sausage):

And, why not the Butter Nativity:

The Cupcake Topper Nativity. holy and yummy all at once!

The Pig Nativity. Oink-vey: certainly not kosher…

The Mary-and-Josesph-as-Kids Nativity. This one is mildly disturbing.

In keeping with our current cultural fascination with all things zombie, I give you the Etsy craftiness of: the Zombie Nativity. Full disclosure: after this collection blew up online a few years ago, my business partner, Adam McLane, bought me this one as a Christmas gift. It now sits proudly in my home. and my interactions with the creators were just lovely (they “get it”).

The Nativity Carved out of Spam! (Thanks, Adam!)

The Shotgun Shell Nativity. What a blast (get it!?). Perfect for your redneck Christmas, I suppose.

The Peg Doll Nativity. Other than collecting some larger figures and one smaller one, and telling me it’s a nativity, this one doesn’t exactly scream “manger”.

The Mice Nativity. Say goodbye to the cookies you left out for Santa.

Um, the official description is “Folk Nativity“. But i’m pretty sure that’s a small 7 eleven frozen burrito with a face on it, along with two new age tree fairies, or something (btw: I had interaction with the creators of this gem a few years ago, and they’re good people).

From a nice reader in the UK (thanks, Mary!) who bothered to email this pic…
The Soggy Jesus Nativity. I’m sure there are plenty of nativities in a snow globe, where all three (or more) characters are IN the globe. But this freakish thing just has Jesus in there, with Mary and Joe staring at their baby-in-a-fishbowl. Too weird and hilarious.

Honestly, this one — the Mexican Mermaid Family Nativity — is some pretty beautiful art work, even if it is fairly strange. Thanks to Karen on flickr for allowing me to post this one.

And what I can only call the ‘Minimalist Nativity’. Props to some kindergarten art class for this one, or some very lazy community college art student.

Yeah, this one probably crosses some line. Sent to me by the creators, I give you the Halloween/Christmas Mash-up Nativity.

More animals! This time, it’s Meerkats! Hakuna matata, Jesus.

Not to be left out of the animal kingdom nativities, the Frog Nativity:

Ok. If I had a line, I’ve probably crossed it by now. I hesitated on this one, but it was suggested SO many times in recent years, and it’s from a crafty little website called tamponcrafts.com (really). Yup: it’s the Tampon Nativity:

More animals! This time it’s Moose (meese? mooses?).

Robin, the creator of this Soap Nativity, sent it to me. I suppose the birth of Christ has something to do with getting us all squeaky clean.

I love this one: three wise-men cheers for the Color Nativity!

What’s more fun that a puzzle? I’ll tell you what: little puzzles made out of eraser stuff. And then–in case that wasn’t fun enough!–make ’em a Puzzle Eraser Nativity set! Obvious, right, since baby Jesus came to erase your sins!?
puzzle eraser nativity

Take, eat, this is the body of Christ MADE IN CHOCOLATE FOR YOU, nomnomnomnomnom.
chocolate nativity

A quick Google image search will turn up a wide variety of nativity-themed nesting dolls. But I got a little chuckle out of the idea of the sheep being inside baby J on this one (alert reader Alison pointed out that “maybe that’s the ‘Lamb of God’!”):
nesting dolls nativity

Really, how did this list of wild and weird and wonderful and horrible nativities get to this ripe old age and NOT have a Gingerbread Nativity?? Just like the nesting dolls, there are hundreds (homemade and not) in a quick google image search. Here’s one of ’em:
gingerbread nativity

Speaking of gingerbread… just in case you’re hoping to communicate “WE ARE SO CUTE YOU MUST LOVE US” to your neighbors, here’s a Gingerbread Yard Art Nativity (I’m sure the word “art” is used merely for reference in that description):
gingerbread yard art nativity

What can I say: the world thanks Etsy artist thepinkkoala for finally building a bridge of peace, ending the rancor brought on by the scopes monkey trial. Now Christians and Darwinists can hold hands whilst viewing this Monkey Nativity set:
monkey nativity

I’m salivating as I post this one, the Fondant Nativity, from Etsy wonder craft rosy. Jesus and dessert: Two of my favorite things!
fondant nativity

You saw the Snow Globe Nativity above with only baby Jesus in the globe, right? Well, a lovely and alert reader sent me a photo of this fantastic piece of awesomeness she saw at a thrift shop. Yup, this time the snow globe is only on mary’s head. It’s like a space helmet! HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
nativity - mary snowglobe

And here I have to confess: this nativity is amazing. I want. I already have one on the list called the “Minimalist Nativity,” so i’m going to be forced to call this the “Minimalist Balls Nativity.” Seriously, this bit-o-brilliance makes it pretty clear that the nativity is iconic (btw: here are step-by-step instructions for making this one):
nativity - minimalist balls

There are so many nativities that try to incorporate Santa in some way. But this Father Santa Nativity takes things to a whole ‘nother level.
Father Santa

Unvirtuous Abbey, on FB, was the source of this confused Frankenstein Nativity.
frankenstein nativity

This has to be one of the strangest and most disorienting nativities on the whole list. I call it the Frog Belly Nativity, and it leaves me with more questions than answers, to be sure. But, hey, if this connects with your soul, you can get your own at The Frog Store.
frog belly nativity

Holy cow, it’s a nativity. Confused? Me too. The Holy Cow Nativity is available as a Christmas ornament for your mediations on beef and spirituality.
holy cow nativity

Nativity Chess Set. Seems pretty obvi, right?
nativity chess set

Three truths about this Paper Mache Nativity:
1. I don’t remember where I got it (I think someone sent it to me; but I don’t have notes on it).
2. I’m not really sure what’s going on in it.
3. It scares me, just a little bit, in an Aliens-want-to-eat-your-soul sort of way.
paper machete

The Peanut Nativity reminds me of a lame craft from Christian summer camp. Sorry, peanuts. And sorry, good summer camps with your brilliant craftiness.
peanut nativity

Food-related nativities are fun, apparently. And the Radish Nativity has an interesting story. Sent to me by Christy, a missionary in southern Mexico, who writes: My husband and I work in Southern Mexico. Every December 23, people from all over flock to Oaxaca City, Mexico to the Noche de Rabanos (Radish Night) celebration. There are always some lovely nativities painstakingly carved out of giant red radishes. Sure. Radishes. Because they’re red, maybe?
radish nativity.4

My friend Josh snapped a pic of this Woodland Creatures Nativity at a Christmas store in NC. Oh, Deer! (Note: Santa in the background sorta ticked me off. Go away, Santa, back to your freaking chimney.)
woodland creatures nativity

How did I get all the way to 2015 without a Salt and Pepper Nativity in the list? Yup, it’s the reason for the seasoning.
salt and pepper

This is one of my new favorites: the Super Minimalist Nativity. Created by French artist Émilie Voirin, who says, “The holy scene that has been broadly reproduced is here recognizable by the names only, giving free rein to people’s imagination.”
super minimalist nativity

People have sent me dozens of nativity scenes cobbled together with independent superhero dolls. But this one was actually made as a nativity, with Baby J in a wee Superman costume! Finally, a real Superhero Nativity. (Haven’t found a source for this one yet.)
superhero-nativity

I don’t think the creators of this nativity intended to make something that looks like the Star Wars Jawa. So I’m calling this one the Unintentional Jawa Nativity.
unintentional jawa

New to the list this year!

sure, a driftwood nativity. this crafty nativity was sent to me by greg turner, who took the pic.
driftwood-nativity

How ‘about a Haitian coconut nativity. I mean, make nativities out of what ya got, right? (Thanks to Dave Mahar for sending this one.)

haitian-coconut-nativity

Why not play games with your nativity? You can with this Dominos Nativity (photo sent by Mark Eades).

dominos-nativity

OK, someone who said he has a very “bah-humbug” feeling about this season put all that feeling into his creation of the Negativity Nativity. Wow.

negativity-nativity

Can’t say I’m a big fan of the Gnome Nativity. But to each his own!

nativity-gnomes

More than one of my Canadian friends send me this shot of the Canadian Nativity. It’s kind, apologetic, and loves poutine.

canadian-nativity

Here it is: the viral nativity of 2016. I give you: the Hipster Nativity (also called the Millenial Nativity). Gotta give the creators props for putting thought into this baby.

hipster-nativity-screen-shot

Not really sure what to call this one. I’m going with Road Trip Nativity.  Good times.

car-nativity

I’m surprised it took me until now to find a nativity honoring the Day of the Dead. Well, here you have it:

skeletons-nativity

And last but not least this year, a pinto bean nativity cutely named Holy Frijoles!

pinto-beans-holy-frijoles-nativity

 

check out bohemian rhapsody re-written as “bethlehemian rhapsody” (so totally fun!).

also check out this awesome take on the real christmas story, as if it played out on facebook, and this fantastic imagining of the nativity story played out on a a wide variety of social media.

photo in need of a caption

i can’t even remember the last time i posted a photo in need of a caption. but it’s a rare rainy day in san diego (this is what we consider “bad weather”), and seemed like a good day for some fun.

PRIZE for this: the winner gets their choice of one of our amazing brand new Cartel resources:

  • The Real Jesus, by Jen Bradbury — a student devo based on jen’s research about what teenagers believe about Jesus, and responding to the question Jesus asked Pete: Who do you say that I am?
  • Finding Jesus in the Old Testament, by Eric Ballard — a 10-lesson downloadable curriculum focusing on catching glimpses of Jesus in the lives and stories of some of our most beloved Old Testament heroes.
  • Viva: One-Offs — the latest in our Viva series of downloadable lessons, this set includes four sessions that aren’t a series — perfect for that moment when you realize “Oh no, we don’t have a lesson for tomorrow morning!”

OK — here’s the photo. whatcha got?

rightleft

 

contenders:

Scott Riley — When choosing a presidential candidate, follow the sign!

Robby Balbaugh — You know you’re no longer the cool youth pastor when you can’t keep up with all the dances. #heymacarena #aight

supadupaluper — After being hired by the Galactic Department of Transportation, Yoda’s boss informed him, “Right, the Left Lane Must turn Right so please install a new road sign.” Promptly, Yoda replied, “Must turn Right…mmm…Right, the Left Lane,” and so he made and installed the sign “Right Lane Must Right Left.

[note: max read the above comment and said, “that might not be the winner; but he has to be a contender just because he put so much effort into thinking that through.” so, luper, as your mom probably said (and now my son), “very good effort, honey.”]

Mike — Your left or my left?

shardsofeternity11k — “Then proceed to turn right round baby right round.”

RevBT — After the last youth group meeting the church created a new, clearer policy regarding skateboards in the sanctuary.

Chris Ownby — Now cha cha real smooth…

and the winner is…

think i’m gonna go with the very first entry (which actually caused me to make a muffled laugh/chuckle/guffaw sort of sound when i read it. certainly timely. so, Scott Riley, you win, with: When choosing a presidential candidate, follow the sign!

(i’ll contact you about your prize, reno man)

The Surprising News About LGBT Teens and Church

my latest column for Youthwork Magazine (in the UK) has been released into the wild. i felt this one had an extra dose of importance, and hope youth workers will both read it carefully and think deeply about implications.


I don’t believe there’s an increase in gay teenagers, or those wrestling with same sex attraction (SSA), in the average church. But there’s no question that youth workers all over the globe—whatever their church’s theology, or their own—are facing an exponential increase in questions from all fronts.

In every one of my youth worker coaching groups, participants of all theological stripes want to talk bout how they should respond to teenagers with SSA questions (and transgender questions). Almost every youth worker is asking (or should be asking!) pragmatic questions, and being expected to give answers to teenagers, parents, and oversight committees.

I’ve found that most of us don’t know how to talk about these issues. One of the results is an interesting one: we almost always default to theological camps (even the large quantity of youth workers who aren’t sure of their theological camp). Conversations quickly become debates.

There’s a place for debates, to be sure. Biblical and theological understanding is critical. But at the end of the day, I’m finding that most youth workers are wrestling with questions and situations that are more pastoral than theological. And I’m not seeing enough of those conversations. To paraphrase pastor and author Andy Stanley: With Jesus, we see that theology is never allowed to trump ministry.

us verses usI was recently reading the manuscript of a wonderful book being released later this year by Andrew Marin, called Us Verses Us: The Untold Story of Religion and the LGBT Community (NavPress, 2016). The book reveals the findings (and practical implications) of a massive research study of the faith of LGBT people. And there are some very surprising findings, one of which should result in direct action from youth workers everywhere.

(It should be noted that while Marin currently lives in Scotland, studying at St. Andrews, the research study was conducted on a US population. That said, I believe the implications still have something to say to youth workers outside of the US.)

In short, one surprising finding of the study was that LGBT people score more than 10% higher than the general population when it comes to having a background in the Christian church. That fact itself is fascinating, and worthy of reflection. The research team dug deep into the data, cross-referencing reams of data from other questions and digging into the responses from open-ended prompts.

They discovered that a large portion of young teens experiencing SSA look for ways to rid themselves of the attraction they don’t desire to have. Prior to their young teen years, survey respondents may have been aware of their SSA; but the questions (and often pain and fear) surrounding these issues become particularly urgent to young teens stepping into the developmentally normative work of identity formation.

Here’s the news for youth workers (and churches in general): a statistically significant percentage of young teens experiencing SSA, but without prior church experience turn to the church, as a means of turning to God. Did you catch that? Young teens without prior church experience start attending church and/or youth programs specifically because of their SSA. They are looking, primarily, for answers and help (and often, hoping that God will remove their SSA).

Sadly, the statistics also show that the vast majority of teens experiencing SSA do not find help in the church (all too often experiencing condemnation and rejection): The majority of LGBT adults report leaving the church (but not their faith) during their later teen years.

Teenagers are in our midst, looking for help; and we have been—for a very, very long time—failing them.

This is one of the reasons I am so firmly in agreement with Andy Stanley’s insistence that “the church should be the safest place to talk about anything, including SSA.”

This column is not the place for a deep dive into all the ways we youth workers should be living out this ‘safest place to talk about anything’ mandate. But let’s at least start here: love, and dialogue, and create safety, and prayerfully work out your pastoral response (more urgently than your theological posture) to the teenagers in your very midst who are wrestling with same sex attraction.

 

FRIDAY NUGGET: myths of belonging

Myths of belonging

  1. more time = more belonging
  2. more commitment = more belonging
  3. more purpose = more belonging
  4. more personality = more belonging
  5. more proximity = more belonging

“Belonging happens when you identify with another entity – a person or organization, or perhaps a species, culture, or ethnic group.”

 

(all from The Search to Belong: Rethinking Intimacy, Community, and Small Groups, by Joseph Myers)

2 sentence book reviews: Christian Nonfiction and Parenting

30 book reviews this time around, over five days of posts. as always, i allow myself two sentences (unless otherwise noted):
– the first sentence is a summary of the book.
– the second sentence is my opinion of the book (complimented by the star rating).

my opinion:
– just because “Leaders are Readers” is a cliche doesn’t make it untrue.
– and, people who want to grow choose to read widely.

in this current series:
YA Fiction and Fiction (6 books, monday)
Illustrated Books and Graphic Novels (7 books, tuesday)
General Nonfiction (6 books, wednesday)
Ministry and Theology (7 books, thursday)
Christian Nonfiction and Parenting (4 books, today)

Christian Nonfiction

the wired soulThe Wired Soul: Finding Spiritual Balance in a Hyperconnected Age, by Tricia Rhodes)
4 stars
[note: this book releases July 1. this is my official endorsement provided to the publisher.]

Like so many others, I long for a more contemplative life. I know it’s in my best interest. Yet my desire and my experience, born out of my choices, don’t often seem to be on the friendliest of terms. Rhodes offers a practical (yes!), fascinating and insightful set of explanations, encouragement, and tools. This is a useful book, very much worth digesting.

broken hallelujahsBroken Hallelujahs: Learning to Grieve the Big and Small Losses of Life, by Beth Allen Slevcove
5 stars
[note: this book releases April 4. this is my official endorsement provided to the publisher.]

I don’t normally think of Grief and Beauty cozying up with one another. But that’s the indelible impression this gorgeous book imprinted on my heart and mind. Slevcove–with sometimes startling vulnerability and relentless authenticity–opens up her journey into and through grief, shining a light on something far, far better than simple platitudes or greeting card perk pills: this book reveals truth. And it’s the best kind of truth, messy and heart-wrenching and full of the potency of new life.

Parenting

pass it onPass It On: Building a Legacy of Faith for Your Children through Practical and Memorable Experiences, by Jim Burns and Jeremy Lee
4 stars
[note: this is my official endorsement provided to the publisher.]

I’ve always been a huge fan of intentional Rites of Passage (as opposed to the non-intentional cultural rites that most of our children and teens stumble through). This book, like none I’ve ever seen, provides practical and actionable Rites, along with amazing insight, for every year of elementary, middle school, and high school. It’s an absolute wealth, a treasure trove, of hope and spiritual parenting. I will be recommending this books to lots of parents!

your teenagers not crazyYour Teenager’s Not Crazy: Understanding Your Teen’s Brain Can Make You a Better Parent, by Jerusha and Jeramy Clark
5 stars
[note: this book releases April 4. this is my official endorsement provided to the publisher.]

The depth of insight and reams of practical ideas in this book are the second best things about it. The best thing–what really sets this book apart from other parenting books–is this: the vast majority of parenting books use fear, guilt, and hyperbole to promote a “teenagers are broken, and a problem to be solved” perspective. I find this perspective theologically unsound, destructive, and unhelpful. But the Clarks offer us, instead, a book that embraces a “teenagers are a wonder to behold” viewpoint. And that makes all the difference in the world, and is–i would suggest–the most important perspective needed for effective parenting.

2 sentence book reviews: Ministry and Theology

30 book reviews this time around, over five days of posts. as always, i allow myself two sentences (unless otherwise noted):
– the first sentence is a summary of the book.
– the second sentence is my opinion of the book (complimented by the star rating).

my opinion:
– just because “Leaders are Readers” is a cliche doesn’t make it untrue.
– and, people who want to grow choose to read widely.

in this current series:
YA Fiction and Fiction (6 books, monday)
Illustrated Books and Graphic Novels (7 books, tuesday)
General Nonfiction (6 books, wednesday)
Ministry and Theology (7 books, today)
Christian Nonfiction and Parenting (4 books, friday)

Ministry and Theology

saying is believingSaying is Believing: The Necessity of Testimony in Adolescent Spiritual Development, by Amanda Hontz Drury
5 stars
[note: this is my official endorsement provided to the publisher.]

Amanda Drury’s book winsomely confronted me and conclusively helped me rediscover a critically important aspect of adolescent spiritual formation that I–along with thousands of my youth ministry peers–had gradually relegated to the youth ministry storage closet in the basement of the church. Time for a course correction; time for growth; time for testimony.

tornTorn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate, by Justin Lee
5 stars
autobiography (with lots of biblical and theological digging) of a gay christian man sincerely seeking god’s will for his life and sexuality. whether a reader fully agrees with the author’s conclusions or not takes nothing away from the fact that this is an exceptional book, and should be required reading for all christians (particularly those in ministry) who want a more informed and nuanced understanding of LGB (not really T) people and the christian faith.

sticky faith service guideSticky Faith Service Guide: Moving Students from Mission Trips to Missional Living, and Sticky Faith Service Guide, Student Journal: How Serving Others Changes You, by Kara E. Powell and Brad M. Griffin
4.5 stars
sticky faith service guide student[note: these books release February 2. this is my official endorsement provided to the publisher:]

I find that missions are consistently the best and the worst programs we offer in youth ministry. The potential for transformation and Kingdom impact is palpably real; but the hidden curriculums of self-actualization, pity and judgment, and tourism too often turn what could be beautiful and good into a narcissistic mush. How wonderful to have a research-based guide to avoiding the worst of what short-term missions can be, and leaning into the best.

moving messagesMoving Messages: Ideas That Will Revolutionize the Sunday Experience, by Rick Bundschuh
5 stars
[note: this book releases January 11. this is my official endorsement provided to the publisher.]

Wait: a book about preaching that’s actually fun to read and thoroughly engaging, in addition to being chock-full of fantastic disruptive ideas? Bundschuh actually models, with his writing, what he’s proposing we consider. And if you care about connecting 21st century church people with the transformative truth of scripture, you will certainly want to consider this master class on creative preaching.

heaven promiseThe Heaven Promise: Engaging the Bible’s Truth About Life to Come, by Scot McKnight
4.5 stars
an extremely accessible and readable exploration of what the bible actually teaches about heaven. this isn’t mcknight’s best book (he’s my favorite theological author, who has greatly shaped my thinking and ministry with favorite books like The Blue Parakeet, Embracing Grace, Junia Is Not Alone, and A Community Called Atonement), but it is absolutely helpful and worth reading.

us verses usUs versus Us: The Untold Story of Religion and the LGBT Community
5 stars
[note: this book releases June 1. this is my official endorsement provided to the publisher.]

Almost all discourse and writing about LGBTs and faith ebbs to theology and biblical interpretation. What’s been sorely missing are sociological insights–anchored to research rather than opinion–of the current landscape. Marin offers a profound gift to us (however you define “us”) that will, I’m confident, lead to more understanding, more inquiry, more grace, and more love.

2 sentence book reviews: General Nonfiction

30 book reviews this time around, over five days of posts. as always, i allow myself two sentences (unless otherwise noted):
– the first sentence is a summary of the book.
– the second sentence is my opinion of the book (complimented by the star rating).

my opinion:
– just because “Leaders are Readers” is a cliche doesn’t make it untrue.
– and, people who want to grow choose to read widely.

in this current series:
YA Fiction and Fiction (6 books, monday)
Illustrated Books and Graphic Novels (7 books, tuesday)
General Nonfiction (6 books, today)
Ministry and Theology (7 books, thursday)
Christian Nonfiction and Parenting (4 books, friday)

General Nonfiction

yes pleaseYes Please, by Amy Poehler
3 stars
mostly autobiography, with some rabbit trails into commentary. i wanted this book to be better than it was, and found the laughs–which are certainly in there–not nearly as frequent as other books in this genre.
[additional note: the choice to print this on dense, glossy paper made the book uncomfortable to hold while reading, and occasionally requiring awkward angles to decrease glare!]

modern romanceModern Romance, by Aziz Ansari and Eric Klinenberg
5 stars
hilariously written, research-driven exploration of shifts in dating and marriage. this book surpassed my expectations on every possible front.

jv superstarJV Superstar: A Christian College Odyssey, by Matthew Pierce
3.5 stars
a collection of autobiographical stories from the naive and quirky experiences of a conservative christian college kid. too short to be satisfying (and not as funny as the author’s first ebook, Homeschool Sex Machine), but still fun and worth the hour it takes to read, particularly if you can connect with the weirdness of a christian college experience.

transgender 101Transgender 101: A Simple Guide to a Complex Issue, by Nicholas M Teich
4 stars
a non-emotive, non-story-based overview of the increasingly complex subject of transgender people. while not intended to shape your theology (it’s not a christian book), i found this quick and easy read very helpful in understanding both terminology and how trans* people want to be understood.

collapseCollapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed: Revised Edition, by Jared Diamond
4 stars
a deep dive into dozens of societies that no longer exist and the reasons for their collapse. i deeply enjoyed gaining the insight in this book, but just… wanted… it… to… end (apparently, i simply do not have the attention span for a 600-page work of non-fiction).

mo meta bluesMo’ Meta Blues: The World According to Questlove, by Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson and Ben Greenman
5 stars
autobiography from The Roots’ drummer, with a history of hip-hop on the side. even though i’m not a big fan of hip-hop, i found this interesting and fun, both as an insight into the shaping of a genius, and the history of a movement/musical genre.

2 sentence book reviews: Illustrated Books and Graphic Novels

30 book reviews this time around, over five days of posts. as always, i allow myself two sentences (unless otherwise noted):
– the first sentence is a summary of the book.
– the second sentence is my opinion of the book (complimented by the star rating).

my opinion:
– just because “Leaders are Readers” is a cliche doesn’t make it untrue.
– and, people who want to grow choose to read widely.

in this current series:
YA Fiction and Fiction (6 books, monday)
Illustrated Books and Graphic Novels (7 books, today)
General Nonfiction (6 books, wednesday)
Ministry and Theology (7 books, thursday)
Christian Nonfiction and Parenting (4 books, friday)

Illustrated Books and Graphic Novels

secondsSeconds, by Bryan Lee O’Malley
4.5 stars
a young chef with a propensity for bad choices that undermine her long range goals gets the opportunity for do-overs, which lead to complex and unintended results (as well as growth and learning). this full-length (336 pages!) graphic novel offers the things i hope for in this literary form: engaging story and character, great drawing, with a dose of insight.

masterful marksMasterful Marks: Cartoonists Who Changed the World, by Monte Beauchamp
4.5 stars
short graphic biographies of influential cartoonists, drawn in their own style. i like graphic novels, but didn’t know much about influential cartoonists; so this creative and brilliantly executed approach to a history book was a blast to read.

what ifWhat If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, by Randall Munroe
4 stars
just what the subtitle says it is: an application of math and science to offer reasoned answers to ridiculous question (example: What would happen if the earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?). from the creator of the popular web comic xkcd, this collection of weird questions and serious answers–with lots of fun illustrations–totally kept my attention for about 80% of my time with it.

gigantic beardThe Gigantic Beard That Was Evil, by Stephen Collins
5 stars
a man in an isolated, fear-based island kingdom suddenly grows a beard that won’t stop growing, creating pandemonium, absurd attempts at problem solving, and isolation. in addition to my beardy connection on this one, i loved the illustration style, and was pleasantly surprised by the level of implied social and political commentary about how we treat those considered other.

awkward moments 1Awkward Moments Children’s Bible, Vol. 1, and Awkward Moments (Not Found In Your Average) Children’s Bible – Vol. 2: Don’t blame us – it’s in the Bible!, by Horus Gilgamesh (Author) and Agnes Tickheathen (Illustrator)
2 stars
awkward moments 2illustrated plates of awkward bible scenes, with back-of-the-book commentary. i really, really wanted to love these books, but ultimately found them way too cynical, mean-spirited and dismissive.

wilsonWilson, by Daniel Clowes
3.5 stars
a narcissistic and lonely middle aged man seeks human connection. i love clowes’s illustrations (really, about as good as it gets), but found wilson so hopeless, in every sense, that i struggled to fully enjoy the story.

the 62 Worst and Weirdest Nativities (the 2015 revised list!)

NOTE: this post is the 2015 list. for the 2017 list (now with 77!), click here.

coke can nativityYup, I’ve seen the Coke can nativity.

coke can camel nativityAnd I’ve seen the one with the pack of Camel cigs.

live dogs nativityAnd the live dogs posed as a nativity.

godzilla nativityAnd, yeah, the many glorious combinations of Barbies and Godzillas and just about everything else.

But they’re not on my list of the XX Worst and Weirdest Nativities. That’s because this list has a rule: I only include nativities that were made as nativities. (Otherwise this list would be three times longer!)

And before we get going with this year’s revised and updated list, I should acknowledge that I can’t really label all of these “worst” anymore. For starters, I’ve grown fond of some of them over time. Then, as the list has grown, I’ve stumbled on some that I think are absolutely brilliant in one way or another. There’s no question about it: some are horrible and tacky. Some are weird and freakish. Some are merely meh. And some, well, rock.

But you’ll have to be the judge, i suppose.

The Kitty Cat Nativity. Makes me want to cough up a hairball.

The Nativity Kitchen Timer (ding-ding! baby jesus is born!):

Yeah, the Cat Nativity is probably worse. But these Dogs ain’t much better…

Technically, not a nativity. But it’s a Christmas lawn ornament, showing (can you believe it?) the flogging of Jesus on the way to the cross. There’s some christmas cheer for your neighborhood!

Also not technically a nativity. Just a horribly cheesy Christian kitschmas decoration: the Jesus Tree Topper. Dude, that robe is not working for you. And stop using that flat-iron on your hair.

Back to actual nativity sets. This one is a craft kit, using marshmallows to make a S’mores Nativity. Yum.

This isn’t a whole nativity set, but there are other pieces available. This Mouse Drummer Boy is just about as confusing as a bit of kitschmas junk can get.

When searching for tasteless nativity sets online, it doesn’t take long for one to stumble onto multiple versions of bears…

This Rubber Duckie Nativity has to be right up there in the “worst” section of cheesy nativity sets…

Lotsa Santa nativity sets and pieces out there, but this one is a bit disorienting. Is the holy family IN Santa’s bag? Or does Santa have an nice appliqué of the holy family on his bag of gifts? And, what can the letters in Santa be re-arranged to spell?

If cats, dogs, and teddy bears weren’t enough, how ’bout penguins!?

Sure. Snowmen. Shouldn’t be a surprise.

Ah, the Veggie Nativity. I debated on this one, because my kids loved Veggie Tales back in the day. But the baby carrot pushed me over the edge into including it.

This nativity — well, i just don’t even know how to describe it. Clowns? modern art? The baby Jesus seriously looks like something out of a circus or a John Waters movie.

Oh, the animals. I suppose, while i think the Dog Nativity and Cat Nativity are somehow explainable as something people WAY too “into” those particular animals might display, this Chicken Nativity is just a bit beyond my comprehension as a purchasable — nay, displayable — holiday trinket.

You know those people who have those geese on their porch? Yeah, them. And they put a cute little goosey costume on their porch-goose to mark every season? Yeah, those people. This costume set is made for those people. Or, to clarify, for those who actually have TWO of those geese already. Sigh. I’m guessing the rubber ducky baby is “not supplied” (not to mention zoologically impossible).

What better expresses the spirit of the incarnation than owls? I found these in an online cavalcade of nativities, where the comment was: Whoooo is the Son of God? Whooooo?

Yes, I give you, the Naked Troll Doll nativity. Eesh. Feh.

The Irish Nativity, where the 3 Irish wise guys have clover, gold and Guinness:

The most viral nativity from a few years ago… the Meat Nativity (yes, bacon and sausage):

And, why not the Butter Nativity:

The Cupcake Topper Nativity. holy and yummy all at once!

The Pig Nativity. Oink-vey: certainly not kosher…

The Mary-and-Josesph-as-Kids Nativity. This one is mildly disturbing.

In keeping with our current cultural fascination with all things zombie, I give you the Etsy craftiness of: the Zombie Nativity. Full disclosure: after this collection blew up online a few years ago, my business partner, Adam McLane, bought me this one as a Christmas gift. It now sits proudly in my home. and my interactions with the creators were just lovely (they “get it”).

The Nativity Carved out of Spam! (Thanks, Adam!)

The Shotgun Shell Nativity. What a blast (get it!?). Perfect for your redneck Christmas, I suppose.

The Peg Doll Nativity. Other than collecting some larger figures and one smaller one, and telling me it’s a nativity, this one doesn’t exactly scream “manger”.

The Mice Nativity. Say goodbye to the cookies you left out for Santa.

Um, the official description is “Folk Nativity“. But i’m pretty sure that’s a small 7 eleven frozen burrito with a face on it, along with two new age tree fairies, or something (btw: I had interaction with the creators of this gem a few years ago, and they’re good people).

From a nice reader in the UK (thanks, Mary!) who bothered to email this pic…
The Soggy Jesus Nativity. I’m sure there are plenty of nativities in a snow globe, where all three (or more) characters are IN the globe. But this freakish thing just has Jesus in there, with Mary and Joe staring at their baby-in-a-fishbowl. Too weird and hilarious.

Honestly, this one — the Mexican Mermaid Family Nativity — is some pretty beautiful art work, even if it is fairly strange. Thanks to Karen on flickr for allowing me to post this one.

And what I can only call the ‘Minimalist Nativity’. Props to some kindergarten art class for this one, or some very lazy community college art student.

Yeah, this one probably crosses some line. Sent to me by the creators, I give you the Halloween/Christmas Mash-up Nativity.

More animals! This time, it’s Meerkats! Hakuna matata, Jesus.

Not to be left out of the animal kingdom nativities, the Frog Nativity:

Ok. If I had a line, I’ve probably crossed it by now. I hesitated on this one, but it was suggested SO many times in recent years, and it’s from a crafty little website called tamponcrafts.com (really). Yup: it’s the Tampon Nativity:

More animals! This time it’s Moose (meese? mooses?).

Robin, the creator of this Soap Nativity, sent it to me. I suppose the birth of Christ has something to do with getting us all squeaky clean.

I love this one: three wise-men cheers for the Color Nativity!

What’s more fun that a puzzle? I’ll tell you what: little puzzles made out of eraser stuff. And then–in case that wasn’t fun enough!–make ’em a Puzzle Eraser Nativity set! Obvious, right, since baby Jesus came to erase your sins!?
puzzle eraser nativity

Take, eat, this is the body of Christ MADE IN CHOCOLATE FOR YOU, nomnomnomnomnom.
chocolate nativity

A quick Google image search will turn up a wide variety of nativity-themed nesting dolls. But I got a little chuckle out of the idea of the sheep being inside baby J on this one (alert reader Alison pointed out that “maybe that’s the ‘Lamb of God’!”):
nesting dolls nativity

Really, how did this list of wild and weird and wonderful and horrible nativities get to this ripe old age and NOT have a Gingerbread Nativity?? Just like the nesting dolls, there are hundreds (homemade and not) in a quick google image search. Here’s one of ’em:
gingerbread nativity

Speaking of gingerbread… just in case you’re hoping to communicate “WE ARE SO CUTE YOU MUST LOVE US” to your neighbors, here’s a Gingerbread Yard Art Nativity (I’m sure the word “art” is used merely for reference in that description):
gingerbread yard art nativity

What can I say: the world thanks Etsy artist thepinkkoala for finally building a bridge of peace, ending the rancor brought on by the scopes monkey trial. Now Christians and Darwinists can hold hands whilst viewing this Monkey Nativity set:
monkey nativity

I’m salivating as I post this one, the Fondant Nativity, from Etsy wonder craft rosy. Jesus and dessert: Two of my favorite things!
fondant nativity

You saw the Snow Globe Nativity above with only baby Jesus in the globe, right? Well, a lovely and alert reader sent me a photo of this fantastic piece of awesomeness she saw at a thrift shop. Yup, this time the snow globe is only on mary’s head. It’s like a space helmet! HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
nativity - mary snowglobe

And here I have to confess: this nativity is amazing. I want. I already have one on the list called the “Minimalist Nativity,” so i’m going to be forced to call this the “Minimalist Balls Nativity.” Seriously, this bit-o-brilliance makes it pretty clear that the nativity is iconic (btw: here are step-by-step instructions for making this one):
nativity - minimalist balls

New to the list this year!

There are so many nativities that try to incorporate Santa in some way. But this Father Santa Nativity takes things to a whole ‘nother level.
Father Santa

Unvirtuous Abbey, on FB, was the source of this confused Frankenstein Nativity.
frankenstein nativity

This has to be one of the strangest and most disorienting nativities on the whole list. I call it the Frog Belly Nativity, and it leaves me with more questions than answers, to be sure. But, hey, if this connects with your soul, you can get your own at The Frog Store.
frog belly nativity

Holy cow, it’s a nativity. Confused? Me too. The Holy Cow Nativity is available as a Christmas ornament for your mediations on beef and spirituality.
holy cow nativity

Nativity Chess Set. Seems pretty obvi, right?
nativity chess set

Three truths about this Paper Mache Nativity:
1. I don’t remember where I got it (I think someone sent it to me; but I don’t have notes on it).
2. I’m not really sure what’s going on in it.
3. It scares me, just a little bit, in an Aliens-want-to-eat-your-soul sort of way.
paper machete

The Peanut Nativity reminds me of a lame craft from Christian summer camp. Sorry, peanuts. And sorry, good summer camps with your brilliant craftiness.
peanut nativity

Food-related nativities are fun, apparently. And the Radish Nativity has an interesting story. Sent to me by Christy, a missionary in southern Mexico, who writes: My husband and I work in Southern Mexico. Every December 23, people from all over flock to Oaxaca City, Mexico to the Noche de Rabanos (Radish Night) celebration. There are always some lovely nativities painstakingly carved out of giant red radishes. Sure. Radishes. Because they’re red, maybe?
radish nativity.4

My friend Josh snapped a pic of this Woodland Creatures Nativity at a Christmas store in NC. Oh, Deer! (Note: Santa in the background sorta ticked me off. Go away, Santa, back to your freaking chimney.)
woodland creatures nativity

How did I get all the way to 2015 without a Salt and Pepper Nativity in the list? Yup, it’s the reason for the seasoning.
salt and pepper

This is one of my new favorites: the Super Minimalist Nativity. Created by French artist Émilie Voirin, who says, “The holy scene that has been broadly reproduced is here recognizable by the names only, giving free rein to people’s imagination.”
super minimalist nativity

People have sent me dozens of nativity scenes cobbled together with independent superhero dolls. But this one was actually made as a nativity, with Baby J in a wee Superman costume! Finally, a real Superhero Nativity. (Haven’t found a source for this one yet.)
superhero-nativity

I don’t think the creators of this nativity intended to make something that looks like the Star Wars Jawa. So I’m calling this one the Unintentional Jawa Nativity.
unintentional jawa

check out bohemian rhapsody re-written as “bethlehemian rhapsody” (so totally fun!).

also check out this awesome take on the real christmas story, as if it played out on facebook, and this fantastic imagining of the nativity story played out on a a wide variety of social media.

photo in need of a caption

saw this on a friend’s facebook page the other day, and felt it was screaming out to me: “Marko! Make me a Photo in Need of a Caption!” and, so, i comply.

winner gets a copy of one of our upcoming Cartel product releases! (all pretty amazing, btw)

bring it!

IMG_7321

CONTENDERS
(so many good ones this time, i had to be picky!)

Erik Day
Meanwhile…, youth pastors in Portland, OR ReThink the knitting and crochet lock-in

Brian
The wise men’s outfits didn’t do their wisdom justice

scott
Seattle Youth Leader Network

rickhanzelin
“We’re Sgt. Hipster’s Lonely Jackass Band.
We hope you will enjoy the ennui.”

Jeremy Duncan
Shoes optional.

brianaaby
Dare 2 Share 2 Much

Jeremy Best
3 of them are dressed ironically. 1 is not. Guess which one.

Bob Morman
There is a law against this somewhere in Leviticus.

Toby Shope
Crochetmeless!

Michelle Hutchinson
Listen, hobby lobby had a sale and one thing led to another.

Taylor Brown
VBS grows up

(i’ll make the final call tomorrow, friday)

and the winner is…

this was a tough call, as i thought about four of them were a tie. but, can’t have that many winners. so:

Toby Shope’s “Crochetmeless!” took me a few seconds to get, then totally cracked me up. you win, toby. i’ll contact you about your prize!

thanks for playing, everyone.