a while back, my long-time pal, john musick, leader of bluer in minneapolis, had a bit of insomnia. he’d seen the corporate gibberish generator i’d posted. john stayed up way past his bedtime searching the internet for the widest variety of generators. i checked out most of the links he posted, and here are my favorites:

in the cyborg name generator, type your name (or senior pastor’s name!) and get an acronym-ed cyborg name.

marko becomes:

then there’s the anagram generator. scrambles all the letters in your name or church name or youth group name or whatever to come up with all possible word combos using the same letters. i found that using more letters (like using my whole name: “mark oestreicher”) creates an almost impossibly long list. but if you pick through, you can find some fun ones. for instance, “mark oestreicher” can become…
A SHOCKER TREE RIM
A CHEEKIER MR ROTS

if you’re sleepless like john was, and want to look at an absurd quantity of generators, go here.

finally, another friend, steve case, sent along this link to the ship of fools biblical curse generator. a bit lacking in techno-niftiness, but fun, none-the-less.

we had a freakishly rare lightening storm the other night in san diego. this amazing pic is lightening striking the imperial beach pier, just south of downtown san diego.

it NEVER rains in san diego at this time of year. and we only hear thunder here once or twice a year. but there was just a huge thunder crack over our office, the lights blinked, and the sky just opened up. i think i’ll just power down my computer and wait for jesus.

bob carlton sent me a link to a hilarious corporate gibberish generator. i put in Youth Specialties, and it generated this:

It seems remarkable, but it’s accurate!
We here at Youth Specialties realize that it is better to whiteboard iteravely than to monetize iteravely. Is it more important for something to be virally-distributed, one-to-one or to be frictionless? Your budget for leveraging should be at least twice your budget for disintermediating. Our technology takes the best features of WAP and HTML. Is it more important for something to be cross-media or to be 60/24/7/365? A company that can seize defiantly will (at some indefinite point in the future) be able to deploy fiercely. We will implement the commonly-accepted jargon-based term “front-end”. The CAD factor can be summed up in one word: 60/24/7/365. We think we know that it is better to aggregate compellingly than to target transparently. Do you have a plan to become virally-distributed? Think nano-customized, customized.
Our functionality is unmatched, but our ubiquitous communities and newbie-proof use is usually considered a terrific achievement.
Youth Specialties practically invented the term “power shifts”. We apply the proverb “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched” not only to our cutting-edge re-sizing but our capability to enable. If you morph ultra-extensibly, you may have to strategize extensibly. We will synthesize the term “viral”. If you transform extensibly, you may have to productize micro-efficiently. Quick: do you have a 60/60/24/7/365 plan for dealing with emerging bricks-and-clicks re-sizing? We pride ourselves not only on our functionality, but our simple administration and newbie-proof use. The experiences factor is open-source. What does the commonly-used term “project management” really mean? Without bloatware, you will lack mega-bloatware. The metrics for ROI metrics are more well-understood if they are not end-to-end.
A company that can actualize defiantly will (eventually) be able to recontextualize faithfully.
Youth Specialties practically invented the term “cross-platform, open-source revolutionary data hygiene”. Your budget for enhancing should be at least one-tenth of your budget for seizing. We will raise our capacity to aggregate without decreasing our capacity to disintermediate. What do we upgrade? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! If you harness magneticly, you may have to implement robustly. What do we architect? Anything and everything, regardless of unimportance! We think that most one-to-one portals use far too much Python, and not enough VOIP. We will facilitate the power of e-tailers to target. We will brand the commonly-accepted industry jargon “24/7”. The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not wireless. What does it really mean to embrace “proactively”? We will architect the capacity of niches to productize. Quick: do you have a user-defined plan of action for managing unplanned-for web-readiness?
We will disintermediate the capacity of subscriber communities to visualize.
Youth Specialties has permanently altered the theory of convergence. It may seem alarming, but it’s true! The front-end, reality-based markets factor is end-to-end. The metrics for project management are more well-understood if they are not global. What does the buzzword “e-businesses” really mean? Your budget for revolutionizing should be at least one-half of your budget for actualizing. Do you have a strategy to become vertical? The metrics for development are more well-understood if they are not dot-com. Your budget for architecting should be at least one-half of your budget for transitioning. We frequently visualize e-business portals. That is an amazing achievement considering the current and previous fiscal year’s cycle! If you enhance proactively, you may have to brand robustly. The research and development factor can be summed up in one word: resource-constrained, clicks-and-mortar.
Without mindshare, you will lack bloatware.
Youth Specialties is the industry leader of cutting-edge user interfaces. Think super-value-added, magnetic. We will deliver the aptitude of architectures to incentivize. A company that can generate correctly will (at some undefined point in the future) be able to engineer defiantly. If you recontextualize globally, you may have to e-enable interactively. Is it more important for something to be B2C or to be mission-critical? Your budget for branding should be at least one-half of your budget for branding. If all of this may seem marvelous to you, that’s because it is! It comes off as terrific, but it’s accurate! Quick: do you have a bleeding-edge scheme for coping with emerging B2B, cross-media accounting? We apply the proverb “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” not only to our structuring but our ability to enable.
We will multiply our power to incentivize without decrementing our aptitude to recontextualize.
Youth Specialties practically invented the term “angel investors”. What does it really mean to iterate “transparently”? What does it really mean to integrate “macro-strategically”? What does the jargon-based standard industry term “backward-compatible” really mean? Think extensible. Think scalable. Think collaborative. But don’t think all three at the same time. Your budget for growing should be at least three times your budget for whiteboarding. We apply the proverb “A rolling stone gathers no moss” not only to our architectures but our aptitude to synergize. If you generate virally, you may have to matrix virtually. The capacity to generate compellingly leads to the power to scale dynamicly. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our simple administration and simple use. Without preplanned networks, open-source e-markets are forced to become user-centric. It may seem marvelous, but it’s completely true!
The communities factor is transparent.
Youth Specialties has permanently altered the idea of bandwidth. A company that can visualize defiantly will (one day) be able to actualize faithfully. Without methodologies, you will lack re-sizing. We believe we know that it is better to engineer perfectly than to streamline interactively. We will incubate the aptitude of leading-edge, co-branded ubiquitous, six-sigma M&A to transform. Imagine a combination of CSS and SVG. Think intra-sticky. Think ultra-user-defined. What do we redefine? Anything and everything, regardless of obscureness! Our technology takes the best features of OWL and WAP.
The capability to incubate perfectly leads to the capability to empower robustly.
Have you ever needed to repurpose your feature set? With a single click? The metrics for returns-on-investment are more well-understood if they are not web-enabled. A company that can aggregate elegantly will (at some point in the future) be able to enhance defiantly. Without applications, you will lack value-added, long-term content. What does the buzzword “e-tailers” really mean? Your budget for generating should be at least twice your budget for driving. Think B2C. Our functionality is unparalleled in the industry, but our plug-and-play raw bandwidth and non-complex configuration is often considered a terrific achievement. We think that most fractal web sites use far too much DOM, and not enough RDF. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our user-proof administration and newbie-proof operation. We think we know that it is better to benchmark strategically than to drive wirelessly. Do you have a game plan to become web-enabled? A company that can leverage correctly will (one day) be able to actualize correctly.
The metrics for metrics are more well-understood if they are not robust.
Youth Specialties has permanently altered the concept of plug-and-play R&D. Without meticulously-planned subscriber communities, action-items are forced to become 1000/60/60/24/7/365. Think customized. Imagine a combination of XSLT and Python. Without preplanned super-24/7 partnerships, ROI metrics are forced to become clicks-and-mortar. It sounds marvelous, but it’s accurate! What does the term “project management” really mean? We apply the proverb “When the cat’s away, the mice will play” not only to our mega-macro-dot-com, out-of-the-box development but our ability to grow. The metrics for e-markets are more well-understood if they are not best-of-breed. We always harness B2C user communities. That is an amazing achievement taking into account this year’s financial state of things! Without adequate functionalities, portals are forced to become 60/24/7/365. Without solutions, you will lack re-sizing.

i love this idea from my friend (and ys author) steve case…

Case’s Question of No Particular Significance

What is your favorite ONE WORD movie line?

Example: William Shatner in Star Treck: The Wrath of Kahn.

Captain Kirk says: KAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHNNNN!!!

Gary Oldman in The Professional:
(my personal favorite one-word movie line)

Gary the crooked cop says: EV-RY-ONE!!!

i know it´s a bit ¨just last year¨, but i´m gonna have to say mine would be ¨lucky!¨, from napoleon dynamite.

if i could choose two words, i´d choose robert de niro´s line from midnight run (to charles grodin), ¨i´ve got two words for you, ´shut the f*** up´¨. not really two words — but he calls it two words, which makes it one of the best two-words in a movie.

your opinion¿ (um, i´m in argentina, and can only find the upside-down question mark on this keyboard!)

tomorrow morning i’m off to argentina for the convencion internacional liderazgo juvenil (international youth leaders convention). this is a YS event, run by our spanish division, and is our 5th year in a row. the first four were in buenos aires (one of the most beautiful cities in the world, if you ask me). but this year we’re trying something new, and moving the event to mendoza. buenos aires is huge, and is on the eastern edge of the country. mendoza isn’t as big, but is on the western edge of the country, right up against the andes (think: Alive!). we’ve maxed the event out at 1800 the last few years, but really didn’t have a good place to move it in BA. but we have a great place to hold the event in mendoza that allows us to grow it to 2000.

one great advantage is that it’s very close to chile. as a result, we have 400-500 chilean youth workers coming this year, which is just so freakin’ cool. but — huge prayer request — there has been very cold weather and snow in the mountains over the past week; and the mountain pass from chile to argentina is closed. if it doesn’t warm up, and if they can’t re-open the pass, all those chilean youth workers will not be able to attend. please pray for a weather miracle on this one.

i’m speaking five times — three regular seminars, one “super-seminar” (longer), and one general session. karla yaconelli and mike’s father, ernie, will be with me. karla was there last year, but this will be a first for ernie — very cool that he’s coming! our good friends, tony and peggy campolo, will be there also. tony has been a friend of this event from the beginning, and this will be his third time speaking.

on my way home, i’ll stop in buenos aires to see our new (6 mos) office there. we have 2 employees there, and also rent out space to two or three other youth ministry organizations (the office is actually called the Buenos Aires Center for Youth Ministry).

pray for the staff of ys this tuesday, please. the office will be closed, and the whole staff will be at mission san luis rey for a day-long spiritual retreat. this will be the fourth or fifth year we’ve done this — it’s always been fantastic. the mission is one of the original california missions, a beautiful and serene place. we usually spend parts of the day in silence and parts in other kinds of reflection. this year, mark yaconelli is coming down to lead the day, which will be a very cool treat for our staff.

unfortunately, i’ll be on my own retreat on the other side of the world, and won’t be with the ys staff.