this post is rated PG.

last night at my 6th grade guys small group, we were going to talk about zaccheus, and how life-changing that day must have been for him. we ended our time with the guys taking a few minutes to jot some thoughts on a page with the header: what would i talk to jesus about if he came to my house for lunch. they were a bit wild last night, but there was still some good formative stuff.

but early on, we were playing the game “i have never” as a teaser to the idea of life experiences. simple game, most of you know it: each player has 10 chips or pennies or peanuts or whatever (we just help up 10 fingers last night). players take turns saying truthful ‘i have never’ comments. anyone for whom that ‘i have never’ statement isn’t true (in other words, they ‘have’) looses a chip, or puts a finger down. when you’re making a statement, you try to say something you haven’t done that you expect many, if not all, the other players will have done.

our middle school group has its share of rough kids with tough life experiences. but my six guys have had relatively stable lives and are really good boys. and, as became fairly clear last night, are all still pre-pubescent. this is a word-for-word replay of one section of the game, about 3/4 through.

“i have never had sex” (this, by the way, only eliminated me — even my 19 year-old co-leader could keep his fingers up)

(here’s where it got momentarily crazy and hilarious)

“i have never had a wet dream”

“ew, what’s that!?”

“oh, gross, it’s peeing in your sleep!”

“i don’t think that’s quite it…”

“you mean… nocturnal emissions” (he sounded very george mcfly)

“i got ‘the talk’ at dinner at a nice restaurant, and i couldn’t even enjoy the food, i was just thinking about it the whole time!”

“i got ‘the talk’ right before seeing star wars 3, and i couldn’t even concentrate on the movie, ’cause i was thinking about it the whole time!”

“yeah, i’ve never been able to look at babies the same way!”

that all took place, of course, in about 1 minute — mabye even 30 seconds. and then we were back to scooters and video games and cell phones and, eventually, zaccheus. ah, the wonder of 6th grade boys.