errors of communication between my hairdresser and me in the form of what i said and what he heard

a list, from mcsweeney’s, as printed in the book mountain man dance moves, and read on my sony reader ebook

errors in communication between my hairdresser and me in the form of what i said and what he heard
by jez burrows

said: just a little off the length, adn a little thinned out.
heard: could you make me look like a clown’s apprentice?

said: a little shorter, thanks.
heard: i want the style that would emerge if you combined all three of charlie’s angels.

said: just the usual — little shorter and thinner.
heard: you know when you have a bubble bath and you shape the bubbles all around your head? i want it like that.

said: if you could take some of the width off, that’d be great.
heard: if you could make it hard for me to appear in public, that’d be great.

said: of course it isn’t okay — you’ve disfigured me beyond repair. i look like a mushroom.
heard: that’s perfect. take my money.

6 thoughts on “errors of communication between my hairdresser and me in the form of what i said and what he heard”

  1. Yeah, I just shave it every 6 months and grow it back out because my one barber that understood retired 3 years ago and I have given up….I like it.

  2. Marko – I know you like to keep your look “fresh” and unique, but I’m wondering if maybe you are closer to those quotes than you would like to admit… :P

  3. I just want to know which quote is from your latest trend?! I’m guessing it is not the “bubbles” type, eh?

  4. After my last haircut I can certainly relate to this blog. I’ve never worn a hat as often! Thanks for the timely humor and I appreciate what you bring to the table.

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