while digging up my old (2006!) post of top 10 annoyances of living in a thomas kinkade custom home, i stumbled on two likewise old posts, based on a news article i read (alas, the link is dead, so i can’t point to it anymore) about a subdivision in development (again, in 2006) that was only for christians. tomorrow, i’ll repost my list of the top 10 benefits of living in this subdivision; and today, with tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek, i give you…
the top 10 annoyances of living in a christian subdivision
10. constant presence of rainbow steals the wonder from your kids’ souls.
9. burning rage develops at the sheer quantity of fish on cars.
8. the idiots who live on ark street all stupidly think they have to have two pets.
7. mystery casseroles at hoa parties.
6. fines for not smiling.
5. fear of a michael moore documentary.
4. inability to identify the obviously rebellious teenager who keeps nailing stuffed animals on the cross in the park (though it’s probably that darn goth kid).
3. community movie nights are always “left behind” movie, with never-ending encouragement to “bring your unsaved friends!”.
2. no salt allowed.
and #1: nagging sense that this might just be hell.