so, the night before i shared about “the world in 10 years” at the youth ministry exec council, this past wednesday, i was sitting in my tiny room at the retreat center, trying to think up what to say. and i have to say, for all the brilliance in that room of 40 people, it’s a tad bit stuffy and a tiny bit formal. for instance, it was only 40 people, but we used a microphone when speaking. anyhow, my combination of rabble-rouser and the nervousness of wondering what i could say, combined with insecurity of “what if they don’t like me?” lead my tired brain to think it might be FUN to start with some humor. you know, difuse the whole thing a bit. uh-huh. sounded great at midnight. i was thinking of the fact that the weekly world news (an absurd supermarket rag, for those not from the states) could provide me some leverage. they’re always running articles about how nostromdamus predicted a whole new list of things. so i wrote a list of predictions from nostrodamus about youth ministry in 20 years.
well, i thought the predictions i wrote were dang funny. rather insider-ish (if you don’t know the mucky-mucks of american conservative youth ministry, these wouldn’t mean a thing), i’ll admit.
i was so freakin’ intimidated by the whole thing when i finally got up to speak, i was literally shaking with nerves. i had to put my free hand in my pocket to keep it from shaking. and i received what could best be described as the laughter equivilient of a golf-clap. polite. like saying, “well, that’s a baby!” when you don’t know what to say to the mother of an ugly kid.
anyhow – they were all good sports, and i’m sure will be good sports as i post the list:
YS and YFC will have merged, but their primary goal will be selling 3-story magnetic car ribbons.
greg steir will be the junior senator from colorado.
richard ross and monty hipp will team up again to launch a new campaign: true love doesn’t wait long when you’re 80.
there will be a 20-foot bronze statue of alan weed on music row in nashville.
chuck klein and barry st. clair will both be monarchs of 3rd world countries.
mike king will have last been spotted living naked in a cave in france.
and, last but not least:
national network of youth ministries will finally be made a government agency by president jenna bush.
i didn’t get them all, not knowing some of the people, but i liked them more than a polite golf clap. i bet rachael cooley from youth unlimited laughed harder, she’s not that stuffy!
btw: did you dress up for the meeting the same way you and tic did for the announcement video?
that would have helped you blend right in!
Loved the one about Allen. very funny
I am telling you it was the word “naked” that threw them for a loop
I am telling you it was the word “naked” that threw them for a loop
those are ok… a bit funny…
but where was the “in 10 years bo boshers will run an international youth ministry organization telling teens how to do ministry. er.. oh wait.. that has already happened.”
Those were good. The Alan Weed one really made me laugh! I liked the YFC/YS one, too!
or where was “zondervan buys teen mania and replaces YS events with national events called “youth militia:Catching youth on Fire and watching them run”
riddle — bo wasn’t there, or you can be sure i woulda had a prediction for him!
I don’t remember you having me naked. The cave yep but naked? I guess I am one of the stuffed shirts you were speaking of…
i added naked. thought it fit.
Marko, I’m with Barry St. Clair this week at one of his forums, need to know how he took your joke, if he liked it I’ll give him a jab, if he didn’t–I’ve never heard of you or YS–let me know.
i didn’t specifically see his face when i said it, brian — so i don’t really know. i just know that THAT particular joke resulted in the most tense semi-laughter. barry’s a good guy — i’m sure he’d be a good sport about it.
Hey Marko, don’t be too hard on yourself. I enjoyed your predictions, and agreed with Mike King later that his was most likely to come true. And thanks for not making one for me! Somebody said that the surest sign of godliness is being able to laugh at yourself-God knows I’ve got plenty to laugh at in MY mirror!
Actually Marko, I think you got a lot more laughter than you actually heard…folks quieted down quickly so they could hear your next prediction… and, if NNYM does someday get recognized by then-President Jenna Bush, we will applaud as she will be the first female Commander in Chief – in real life.
That’s why we need you Marko…to lighten us up! I’ve created such a serious environment over the years that everyone thought your predictions were for real! (I thought they were hilarious…but remember it was 8:30 in the morning!) Maybe next year we can get that fan turned off so we don’t need a mike…but there we go…stuffy again!