not just a regular ol’ redneck, but an extreme redneck

ok, this is funny. i just read it out loud to my wife and our friend, here in our rented RV, and we all laughed out loud (especially to the one about getting your home blown off its wheels, since that’s our life this week).

You know you’re an EXTREME Redneck When…..

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6. Someone in your family died right after saying, “Hey, guys, watch this.”

7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9. Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the “Star-Spangled Banner” are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.!

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.

(ht to tony myles)

5 thoughts on “not just a regular ol’ redneck, but an extreme redneck”

  1. As a member of the redneak fraternity I must take exception with #6. A true redneck would never use the word “guys” to communicate with a group of people.
    He would use the term “ya’ll”.

  2. If you live in rural Indiana, as I do, this list not only makes you laugh, but makes you say, “Sure, I know that person.” Good stuff.

  3. Being from rural Georgia, I’d have to say that some of them were actually true for me. Particularly the one about prom. (Sad, I know.) But I would have to agree that the only way to start a sentence is with “Hey Y’all!” Particularly when you’re jumping off a rock into the spillway during a drought…’cause that’s how we do it down here.

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