ok, i’ve had two somewhat serious post this week so far; so let’s mix it up with a caption contest! yee-ha! this one is on its knees, just pleading and begging for all your funny and snarky caption ideas. i’ll list ‘contenders’ in the post later today, and pick a winner by the end of tomorrow (thurs).
CONTENDERS
Rob
Posted every year on Youth Sunday…
Patty J
St. Matthew the Apathetic launches its new membership campaign
Mandy
“Explanations are for when you get home and your wife has questions about the sermon. 1 Corinthians 14:33-35.”
Calvin
Like sex, movies, and Shakespeare, First Baptist realized too much talking can ruin the experience.
Andrew Seely
(not shown – sign below)
“please see note nailed to our front door”
Gman
Mark Riddle’s latest Book title.
note from marko: while very insider-ish, this one is drop-dead hilarious, and will be very hard to beat!
Aaron E Elmore
Let people figure out how to handle the snakes on their own…
Othy
The people of Explanatia were appalled at the church’s blatant discrimination.
and the winner is…
holy cow — i suck. between cramming to get stuff done before leaving town, then flying to north carolina, i spaced on picking a winner. contenders, please accept my apologies! were it not for calvin calling me out on a tweet, i may have forgotten about this for days more. and, for that, calvin gets 2nd place!
i thought gman’s comment was going to be impossible to beat; but othy’s late entry slipped past into first!
The people of Explanatia were appalled at the church’s blatant discrimination.
“We had to put the sign up after the Deacon Incident,” said Pastor Smith forlornly.
Posted every year on Youth Sunday…
I quote Wendall Barry from the beginning of Jayber Crow, “Persons attempting to explain, interpret, explicate, analyze, deconstruct, or otherwise “understand” will be exiled to a desert island in the company of only other explainers.”
St. Matthew the Apathetic launches its new membership campaign
The congregation chipped in to buy this sign, hoping it might be a subtle way to deflate their long-winded preacher.
It was all predestined.
“Darnitall!… I said, ‘expletives’, NOT ‘explanations’!”
Tired of people having to explain to their guests about his attire each week, Pastor Tim posted this at the entrance of the sanctuary.
“Explanations are for when you get home and your wife has questions about the sermon. 1 Corinthians 14:33-35.”
In reference to Marko’s new facebook profile picture…
Time for seminary yet?
When “Quiet in the pews!” just didnt cut it!
“Our pastor paid over $100,000 for an eduction and knows everything.”
Like sex, movies, and Shakespeare, First Baptist realized too much talking can ruin the experience.
“Authentic Church”
(not shown – sign below)
“please see note nailed to our front door”
He understood the meaning of the sign out front as he walked into the foyer and saw the giant statue of the number 42.
Sign found on the front of all Church of Scientology buildings.
We had to post this sign because the sign on the church next door said, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service”
Just drink the Kool Aid and stop asking questions.
Emo worship service disclaimer.
We posted this sign at our church’s entrance because the church next door had the following sign posted: “NO SHOES, NO SHIRT, NO SERVICE”
“We had to find some solution to the problem. Ever since our youth pastor challenged the students to commit to reading the Bible every day, they’ve actually started listening to our pastor’s sermons and have even begun asking him tough questions about how our church can better follow Jesus and his teaching in everything we do. Those kinds of things just can’t be tolerated in our congregation.”
Mark Riddle’s latest Book title.
“The job description said “supportive and enthusiastic community” when it said there wereretired preachers and seminary professors in the congregation,” sighed Jim Bob after his first congregational meeting.
“Theological Presuppositionalism finally becomes part of the woodwork… Van Til would be proud”
Let people figure out how to handle the snakes on their own…
The sign in front of the Roman Basilica should have said: “No TALKING inside the church.”
The people of Explanatia were appalled at the church’s blatant discrimination.
I liked Calvin’s the best I think.