i live in a ‘burb of san diego (el cajon), california. in case you don’t know, san diego is a beautiful city on the pacific, with a gorgeous coastline, a wonderful bay, and nestled right up against mexico. we have the most temperate climate in the u.s. — just consistently in the 70s and 80s and occasionally the 90s. very little rain. i can use my pool more than half the year, my hot tub year ’round, and never wear an actual coat (maybe a hoodie on occasion).

it’s a good city.

but today i cracked up, passing from another suburb into the san diego city limits, and noticing a small sign that said ‘welcome to san diego’, and then had a city slogan i’d never seen before: ‘a city worthy of our affection’.

i found this extremely odd, bland, understated and non-descript. so i started thinking of alternatives…

more tourists than ohio, but not as many as orlando.

tijuana close, but with flush toilets.

our lack of rain makes us 90% emo-free!

ridiculous housing prices, but we have beaches.

fish tacos without a border crossing.

shamu says hi!

#1 in caged animals.

no, it doesn’t mean a whale’s vagina (ht to ron burgundy)

run for the border!

less traffic than L.A.