the second book published by The Youth Cartel comes out in a couple weeks. it’s a feisty little book of snark and giggles, by steve case, called The Youth Cartel’s Unauthorized Dictionary of Youth Ministry.

how ’bout i give you a sampler platter of a handful of my favorites, from the As and Cs:

A is for…

Aaron
Moses’ brother. Occasionally asked people to call him Betsy. No, I just made that up, but I wanted to let you know the kind of book you are in for.

Absence
Makes the heart grow fonder. Unless it has to do with one of those kids you secretly can’t stand, in which case you may want to accidentally replace that little “We Missed You” post-card with a “We’d love to have you visit” postcard that you stole from the youth ministry at that other church.

Alluring
Jezebel painted her eyes to look “alluring.” Also the name of that perfume worn by the 80-year-old organist who applies it so heavily you know exactly where she has been anywhere in the building. Hey, new youth game! #finddoris

Armor of God
No, I am NOT dressing up to watch Lord of the Rings. It’s for Sunday school! #myprecious

C is for…

Christ-Centered
Use this term every time you have to write a newsletter article about your ministry. Examples: “Christ-centered Dodgeball,” “Christ-centered Bake Sale,” “Christ-centered Pizza Party.”

Control
You have none. Get over it. #thisisyouthministry

Crying
There’s no crying in youth ministry (unless Michael W. Smith’s “Friends” is playing). #camphighlightvideo

i’ll post more in the weeks to come. and, you can pre-order the whole thing here!