Tag Archives: holy spirit

FRIDAY NUGGET: Courage for Leading Change

Anyone with healthy or unhealthy resistance to change (most of us have this) need a dose of courage from time to time to push us in the direction of innovation. Here’s what I have learned: I cannot make myself have courage anymore than I can make myself have the fruit of the Spirit. Spiritual courage comes from the Holy Spirit.

The etymology of the word itself tells us this. The root of courage (“cour”) means “heart”; and courage literally means “to have a full heart.” Excitement and praise and rewards and potential can partially fill my heart. But they’re not sustainable. My heart can only be truly topped off in the face of significant risk by the fuel of the Holy Spirit.

the role of the holy spirit in youth ministry

i was one of the three contributors on this week’s slant33.com question: what’s the role of the holy spirit in your youth ministry? click here to see the excellent responses from the other two contributors, albert tate and brooklyn lindsey. but here’s my response:

I’ve had a bit of an awakening to the Holy Spirit in the last couple years. As soon as most people read that first sentence, though, they will assume I mean that I’ve awoken to signs and wonders stuff. That’s not what I mean. (Everything on the table: I’m in the middle; I’m not a sensationalist, but I’ve not had much personal experience or desire for signs and wonders experiences.) The awakening to the Holy Spirit that I’ve experienced has played out on two levels: in my own life and faith practice and in my thinking about youth ministry and church leadership.

My last year at Youth Specialties and the pressure I felt to perform were particularly soul deadening for me. By the time I got laid off, I was close to burnout—both professionally and spiritually. But in the two or three months that followed, I experienced a gorgeous re-awakening of my soul. I felt God’s presence for the first time in a long time. My prayer life rekindled, and I started to hear God speaking, nudging, consoling. I knew this was the Holy Spirit, who had never left, of course. Instead, my spiritual eyes were merely opening to the Spirit’s presence.

This ramped up when I launched the Youth Ministry Coaching Program. When my cohorts were in times of personal sharing, I started sensing the Holy Spirit giving me insight that was beyond me, and I even started receiving what could only be called words of truth to be offered to others. I entered into the exercise of this with open hands—not grasping it or claiming it or arrogantly confident about whatever I might think I should say. But I was amazed, over and over again (as I have continued to be over the last eighteen months) that what I was hearing—from the Holy Spirit—was usually accurate. One of the most powerful of these was a time when I had a strong sense that another person in the sharing circle had a word from God for the person talking. Sure enough, when I called that out, the words spoken had a profoundly holy and truthy beauty to them, and we all knew we were on holy ground.

This has changed both my regular, everyday experience of God as well as my youth ministry practice. When I’m leading my middle-school-guys small group, for example, I’m trying to choose (and it is a choice, by the way) to simultaneously listen to my guys and to the Holy Spirit. One of the surprise benefits to me, in a youth ministry setting, is that I feel unburdened and free. That’s because I’m not carrying the absurd responsibility of being smart or insightful enough to know what to say.

This personal awakening and shift in my practice has also shaped my thinking about youth ministry and church leadership. If you ever hear me talk about Youth Ministry 3.0 stuff these days, I hope you hear the difference from what I wrote about in that book. When I wrote that book, about four years ago now, I was not operating with this mindset or experience, and most of my suggestions only tip a hat to the role of the Holy Spirit. But these days, I’m convinced that great youth workers (and great church leaders) need to recover the art of collaborative discernment. Great youth ministry takes all different forms because it has to be contextual. But the path to a wonderfully contextualized youth ministry is not merely an effort of assessment and study. In fact, it is first and foremost an exercise of listening (and I believe that listening needs to be practiced in community, which is why I am passionate about collaborative discernment).

Yes, we need to do assessments and learn about the community we do ministry in; yes, we need to read and study and observe. But more important than all of that is the intentional act of gathering a small group of spiritually minded people to actively listen to the Holy Spirit. Ask, What teenagers have you placed in our midst? (No, just observing them is not enough.) Listen. Ask, What teenagers are you calling us to in our community? Listen. Ask, What would a culturally and contextually appropriate approach be to reach those teenagers? Listen.

Bottom line #1: Without a sense of the Holy Spirit’s role in your life, you will always be limited in your own spiritual growth and practice and, therefore, in your youth ministry efforts. Bottom line #2: A youth ministry that’s not informed by active and intentional listening to the Holy Spirit will miss out on who God is calling it to be.

jael, courage, cooking, and middle schoolers

yesterday (sunday), i taught in my church’s middle school group as part of a series of “weird, gross, and strange” bible stories. i chose to talk about jael, the wife of heber who drove a tent peg through sisera’s temple after lullabying him to sleep with milk and cookies.

i’ve taught on this passage to middle schoolers many times before. i even wrote a lesson on jael for wild truth bible lessons 2. but when i looked over my previous notes, as well as that lesson i’d written, i kinda felt they all missed the point. i had previously focused on “doing hard things for god.” but that just came off sounding like legalism in many ways, or, at least, a kind of performance-based grace. as i was reading the story in judges 4 this time around, i really felt like it is more about courage.

one of my favorite little factoids about courage is its etymology. cour is the latin root, and means “heart” (cour means heart in french also, btw). to have cour-age is to have a full heart. so the question becomes: how does one get a full heart?

before i describe what i did, i have to give props to my two kids. max (12) plays drums for the middle school worship band. that band is in a bit of a “rebuilding phase,” and normally has (at this point in time) drums, bass, rhythm guitar, and two girls who share keyboard and vocal duties. they are 5 middle schoolers. what they lack in musical excellence they more than make up by being peers to the group they’re leading in worship.

well, the bass player (a guy in my small group) broke his finger playing football the other day; so he was out. then, for reasons i didn’t hear, the two girls weren’t going to make it. early sunday morning, the middle school pastor called max as we were driving to church, and asked if there was any way liesl (16, who plays keyboards, and sometimes bass, in the high school worship band) could help fill in. on a half hour’s notice, liesl and another friend came over and helped make it work. actually, liesl played bass in HS, then came over and played keys in MS, then went back and played keys for a cover song in HS as part of the teaching time, and played bass again for a closing worship set in HS — and she did all of this 2x, since there are 2 HS and MS services on sunday mornings at my church. with me also teaching, it did feel like a family affair. if jeannie had been there to offer spiritual direction to middle schoolers, we could have had some kind of von trap thing going.

back to jael and courage.

when i was thinking about how to teach on having a full heart, i had this idea that introducing a cooking show in the middle of my lesson, where i taught how to ‘fill a heart’, might be a fun angle. i called the middle school pastor, and she quickly found a butcher shop where she could pick up a couple sheep hearts (very similar in size to human hearts, btw).

i started with a funny story about a time i got really scared when i was trying to have courage, while a teenager (i was trying to impress a girl in a scary situation).

then i transitioned to the story of jael. i made full-page name tags of the following characters, with titles, and duct-taped them to 8 volunteer students who stood up front:
– King Jabin (bad guy)
– Deborah (prophet)
– God (creator)
– Barak (Israel’s general)
– Sisera (Jabin’s general)
– Heber (Nomatic dude)
– Jael (Heber’s wife)
– Peggy (the instrument of courage)

i told the story, pointing to the various characters. any time i said a character’s name, the group had to shout out their title. it got a little silly at points, but seemed to work, giving a little visual to the characters to help students grasp the storyline.

after the story, i asked:
Which of these 3 responses from Jael was most likely her real response? (the middle school pastor read of these on a mic, hidden in the back of the room:)

1. OK, so, Jael here. Seriously, can I just be honest with you? I’m a super hero. No, really. Tent-wife by day, super hero by night. My super power? Hammering tent pegs through the heads of bad dudes. At least, that’s what I’m convinced my super power is, because that’s WHAT I JUST DID. Seriously, I am NOT TO BE MESSED WITH! IN FACT, YOU WILL NO LONGER CALL ME JAEL; YOU WILL CALL ME… HAMMERHEAD!

2. Yeah, this is Jael. So, like, this general guy came into my tent and I killed him. I was no biggie, really. I don’t see why everyone’s making such a big deal about this. Seriously – I’m, like, the wife of a nomad, after all. It’s not like I’ve never killed nuthin’ before. That Sisera guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, baby. Whatevs.

3. I am still so freaked out! Jael here; yeah, the wife of Heber. I can hardly believe what just happened. YUCK! So, this general guy, Sisera, showed up at my tent. I recognized him, because he’s a pretty important dude. And even though I’m not an Israelite, I knew that Sisera and his boss, King Jabin, have been treating the Israelites horribly for 20 years. I don’t know, I just knew I had to have courage and do this thing. It totally freaked me out, and I almost barfed while doing it. Seriously, it was crazy, but I somehow knew I was supposed to do it.

after clarifying why i thought that third response was the most likely, i introduced the subject of courage, and unpacked the meaning of the word (to have a full heart).

i turned around, put on an ‘in n out burger’ cook hat, a tiny apron, and introduced the cooking show…


i brought out the sheep hearts, cut the tops off of them, then spent some time talking about the ingredients that going into having a full heart.
– i broke a couple eggs (using them as a simple illustration for the trinity) and separated the whites into a bowl, explaining how we can never have a full heart unless the holy spirit gives us strength.
– i added bread crumbs to the bowl, saying they represented our willingness to respond to god.
– then i added cayenne pepper and some other spice, saying they represented a positive attitude.

as i stirred the mixture with my hands, i explained how having only 2 of those ingredients won’t cut it:
– with only our willingness and positive attitude, but no holy spirit, the whole thing falls apart.
– with the holy spirit and our willingness, but a bad attitude, it’s flavorless.
– with the holy spirit and a positive attitude, but no willingness, there’s no substance and nothing happens.

then i stuffed the mixture into one of the sheep hearts and talked about how having courage isn’t the same thing as having no fear. we can be scared, but still move out with courage. as i cleaned up my hands, i talked about david running at goliath, and guessed that he might have been thinking something like:
“I’m about to pee myself right now because I’m so scared; but I have courage because God gave it to me, and I’m not going to back down, you freak!”

then i quickly unpacked these ideas:

• Courage does not mean “no fear”. Courage means taking action even if you have fear!

• Only God can fill your heart. Only God can give you courage.

• Ps 31:24: Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.

we moved into a time of response, where i asked the group to think about things they needed courage for, giving them a few seconds on each suggestion to think and pray:
• Making the right choice when the wrong one would be easier?
• Standing up for someone?
• Speaking the truth about something?
• Mending a broken friendship?
• Admitting a sin to God or someone else?
• Saying no to a sin that always seems to pull you in?

then, for a memorable close, i had them write one thing they were asking god to give them courage for on a small piece of paper. they folding them up, and, while i held it, shoved them down into the cavities of the other sheep heart.

we closed with a time of prayer, asking for the holy spirit to fill our hearts for those acts of courage we’d identified.

hopefully, they ‘got it’. certainly, it was memorable! :)

here are the notes that were on their handouts:

Meet Peggy, the instrument of courage
Doing tough stuff requires courage. But that might not mean what you think it does.

1. Jael was:
a. An Old Testament superhero
b. A butt-kicking kung fu mama
c. A simple tent-wife who had courage

2. Peggy was:
a. The name of a piano-playing kitty-cat
b. Deborah’s nickname (only her family used it)
c. The stupid name Marko is using for the tent peg

3. Sisera was:
a. Once alive
b. Then, thanks to Jael’s courage and Peggy’s pointiness, dead
c. All of the above


COUR = _______________

COURAGE = _______________________________

Courage does not mean “_____________________________”. Courage means taking action even if you have _________________________!

Only _________________ can fill your heart. Only _____________________ can give you courage.