ok, so while i was writing the top ten frustrations of living the aforementioned christian subdivision, my mind kept going to ideas that fit better under the heading of benefits (though certainly tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek). so here they are:

10. no political signs on lawns, since everyone votes the same.

9. the only homo here is homogeneity.

8. zero pressure to witness.

7. mormon and jehovah’s witness doorbell ringers are swallowed up by mysterious sidewalk-crack-of-turin.

6. one school for every home (because they’re right there in the homes!)

5. your best lawn now.

4. the potential of being featured in a michael moore documentary.

3. no lawnmowers waking you up on sunday mornings.

2. cool signs that say “caution! children being raptured!”

and #1: purpose-driven curbs.