a list, from mcsweeney’s, as printed in the book mountain man dance moves, and read on my sony reader ebook…

what makes unicorns cry?
by bob shea

seasonal allergies

those who refuse to believe in them

orphans throwing rocks at them

renegade wizards who refuse to join the alliance

a sad movie

getting punched in the horn

unicorn-themed fan fiction

war, poverty, injustice — same stuff as you and me

older, mean-spirited unicorns

your habitual lying

overactive thyroid